


Kindred Souls

by dan_vs92



Series: A little cracked but not broken [1]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Cancer, Canon Death, Child Abuse, Child Death, Gen, Grieving, I know the tags look grim but this more about Yondu becoming Peter and Kraglin's dad, I won't make it graphic but I have decided on Peter's abuse and its not pretty, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, It just takes place in an AU where Peter was abused, Its all mainly implied though, More specific tags will be added later, Of Egos other kids that aren't Peter, PTSD, Yondu is helping him heal, not by Yondu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:43:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 59,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dan_vs92/pseuds/dan_vs92
Summary: Yondu groaned, why couldn’t the brat fight back? Bite, kick, punch, scream, anything but this. This wasn’t helping Yondu’s case of turning him into a ravager, this was just making Yondu do something he hadn’t done in a very long time, feel sympathy for another life form.(Or my AU where Peter was abused on Earth and Yondu helps him recover from that abuse)





	1. Prologue

The boy didn’t fight, he didn’t claw or bite or even cry. He bit his lip and took the rough hands that held him like he was used to such treatment and stared at Yondu with eyes filled with anger, not the fear he expected. What the hell happened to this kid to make him so ok with the crew holding him the way they were when Yondu arrived on the scene to finally great their cargo (soon to be crew but the others didn’t need to know that yet). 

He didn’t fight even when his eyes widened with brief fear at the device being pressed into his neck to install the translator. It wasn’t a painful process but in Yondu’s experience, children tended to cry when poked with anything, especially by strangers who just technically kidnapped them. 

Peter was different though, he barely reacted, just seemed to want it to be over with. Didn’t want to fight them on anything, it would make their jobs easier sure but it didn’t sit right with Yondu. 

Three days later, that worry only increased when Kraglin convinced him to go visit the boy for the first time in the holding cell because he wasn’t eating and that wasn’t normal for a child to not eat. 

He looked into the holding cell and stared cautiously seeing the cot empty, it appeared his cargo was trying to hide from them. He smirked, if the kid was trying to set an ambush he certainly had more spunk then Yondu originally gave him credit for. 

Yondu walked in front of the cell and was almost disappointed to find that wasn’t the case. The boy’s meal was left by the cell door, untouched just as Kraglin had informed him and he heard a low chanting coming from under the cot and realized the boy had been sleeping under there, probably hadn’t moved from his spot in a few days since he had been tossed in here. 

Yondu groaned, why couldn’t the brat fight back? Bite, kick, punch, scream, anything but this. This wasn’t helping Yondu’s case of turning him into a ravager, this was just making Yondu do something he hadn’t done in a very long time, feel sympathy for another life form. 

He sat down on the cot and waited for the boy to react to his presence, he didn’t. He just stubbornly stayed where he was at, curled tight underneath him. His music thing being turned up louder at his presence, that low chanting getting louder, so the boy didn’t want to hear anything he had to offer. Stubborn little brat. 

Yondu rested his back against the wall, he wasn’t leaving until the boy came out, he had nothing better to do. He wasn’t the crews mother, they could take care of themselves until he had his say with the boy and it was up to the boy how long that would take. 

Yondu passed the time sharpening his knife and a smirk rose at the silence that finally came from under the bed. It seemed the primitive Terran technology finally died on the boy. The annoyed grunt that followed made Yondu smile as he continued to sharpen his blade. 

“Ya ready to come out, boy?” He called but got no answer still. 

“Don’t mind me then, I ain’t leaving.” 

The boy defiantly curled in a tighter ball under the bed, he wasn’t coming out yet. That was fine, Yondu could wait.


	2. The Silent Treatment

Go away…

Go away…

Peter’s teeth grinded against his lip in the same rhythm of the blade being ran across the sharpener. It was much harder to ignore his presence without his Walkman and the last of his batteries were dead. Everything he loved did that eventually.

That metallic ring made tremors travel through his spine. He wondered briefly if that was what the creature was going to use to gut him, tear him open for either a light snack or maybe some freakish experiment.

Was that what he was here for?

He didn’t know and he didn’t really care, he just wanted them to stop toying with him and get it over with. Just do what they were gonna do with him and be done with it. Peter had been here before, hiding and waiting for the blow to come, the anticipation was always the most painful part. His imagination made it worse than it was, even if what it was wasn’t what he would call pleasant or even bearable either…

His hands tightened on his Walkman, go away, he thought again. He felt the blue man shift on top of him and moved closer to the wall, turning over to glare at his boots.

“Yer gonna come out eventually, they always do,” the alien chuckled but Peter didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. He couldn’t control anything else in his life but he could choose this. So he kept his mouth shut, no one could make him talk or come out or eat their probably drugged food. Nah ah.

Peter wasn’t doing it their way, he was doing it his. He wasn’t giving them the satisfaction of his tears or screams or begs, he had given others that satisfaction and they didn’t stop. Things didn’t get better. Mom still died and he was still in a dangerous situation no child should be in.

He didn’t live in his favorite shows where you would always be rescued if you did nothing wrong, things just didn’t get better and he needed to accept that now. It might make whatever was going to come easier.

“Last kid came out crying and begging and I was lenient on him but the one I had to drag out weren’t so lucky.”

Peter flinched at the laughter but didn’t move or respond to the man, keeping his silence. Let him drag him out, it was Peter’s choice to stay under here and he wasn’t backing on it.

“The crew had never tried his species and he was no use to me being a coward, so I let them.”

“So what’ll it be boy? Let the crew have their way or giving into me and having me show you some lenience.”

Peter couldn’t stop the snarl from escaping from him, nothing was ever his choice, he never had any say in the manner, he was gonna be hurt no matter what he did and he wasn’t going to beg for someone to be a decent person (alien…whatever).

“Fuck you.”

It was the first thing he said in days, it was soft nothing more than a grunt but the captain of the ship heard it loud and clear and was nothing short of amused.

“So the boy can speak,” he drawled out sarcastically. 

Peter bit his tongue after that outburst and simply chose not to say anymore, stupid stupid stupid, he chided himself. 

Time began to stretch again. Peter became silent once more and the captain was growing bored but stubbornly stayed where he was. Both stuck in some kind of stalemate that wouldn’t be ending soon. 

“I was told Terrans ate food.”

Peter was starving but he wasn’t gonna beg or owe this guy anything touching his slop.

“Yet you refuse to come out and touch any meal provided,” he continued his voice stealing in commanding tone Peter was sure made even those hardened monsters stiffen in fear but Peter wasn’t giving into it. Let him do what he wanted to him.

“Either you are just an extremely wasteful brat or your species are some kind of weird plant people.”

Peter let out a sigh of relief as he saw the man rise, finally, he was sick of his presence and just wanted to be alone again. The relief was premature.

Yondu must have heard his low sigh because he let another loud chuckle out making Peter cringe again.

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere boy, like I said I’m here until ya decide ya want to come out of yer hiding spot.”

Peter didn’t bother responding and Yondu groaned seeming to know he wasn’t changing his mind.

“Then don’t mind me as I take the food ya’ve been wasting.”

Peter growled in annoyance as the captain tossed his weight onto the cot making it sink a little on top of him only making the man laugh at his displeasure.

The man wasn’t a quiet eater. He smacked, slurped, chomped and talked with his mouthful, Peter stuck his tongue out in disgust imaging the food that must be going everywhere.

“It ain’t the best food in the galaxy but its good enough. A shame ya won’t eat, I bet it would taste like five class dining to someone half-starved like ya are. Don’t think I ain’t been hearing yer belly rumble while sitting here.”

He let out another laugh but Peter didn’t jump this time, used to the roar by now. He pressed his hand against his stomach. He felt empty and was getting more light headed as time dragged by but he shook his head, he didn’t want to pay for touching that food. There was a price for everything.

“So what is it boy? Ya got a death wish or are ya just the odd ball of your species that don’t need fuel in your system to keep running?”

Peter was shaking now. No. He didn’t want to die, he promised mama he would keep living for her when she was gone. He bit his lip and just let the tears he had been holding back fall out silently thinking of his mama. Too sick to eat. To move. To live. She found freedom in death but he didn’t want to find it the same way.

He must have blacked out again he realized when he opened his eyes to find a glass of half empty water and a roll with a large bite mark in front of him. The captain’s boots kicked off now just in front of his field of sight. The lights were much dimmer then he had remembered them being.

“Good night you little snot,” the captain called snuggling into Peter’s cot, the cot’s shifting making Peter stiffen a little. Peter grunted his annoyance but didn’t argue with the man. 

He waited several minutes until his breathing evened out and his snoring began filling their small confined area before he inched over and took the glass left for him at the foot of the bed. The captain himself had drank out of it, so it wasn’t poisoned and he was right, Peter didn’t want to die.

He wanted freedom and if he was going to get that he needed to have some wits about him, he reasoned also grabbing the roll with a large bite mark on it and eating around it. 

“Good night captain Jerk ass,” he grumbled to the snoring load on top of him as he stifled a yawn. He didn’t feel full, his thirst wasn’t really quenched but he didn’t feel as miserable after taking the man’s advice.

He curled tight into his own corner on the floor and fell asleep. The first real sleep in days despite the loud snoring above him.


	3. The Past (part one)

It was during Peter’s sixth birthday that everything changed for him. One minute it was just him and mama (sometimes Grandpa when he came back from being on the road) but then someone else walked into their lives. The coolest man a six-year-old could want.

He stayed at home with him most days and played in a band every weekend. It was Peter’s dream father come to life.

He played Peter’s sixth party and the boy couldn’t be more over joyed to hear he and mama’s favorite songs live (though the other parents attending didn’t think it was very appropriate). Peter sat on his mama’s lap awestruck for the entire performance and didn’t even move from in front of the man playing his guitar even when Grandpa called for him to blow out the candles.

His name was Johnny, he had long golden blonde hair (he often heard his mom laugh it wasn’t his real color though), was probably the tallest man Peter had ever seen but also skinnier then mom (towards the beginning of the relationship anyway). 

Mama always had to work back then before she got really sick, but Johnny was always there to pick him up from school with a bright smile and asking if ‘my little dude is ready to go?’.

They spent most afternoons watching TV together, Peter sitting cross legged right in front of the TV without a single complaint from the man who just drank from the bottles Peter wasn’t allowed to touch and messed with his guitar. He even taught Peter a few cords (that he always had to show mama before she tucked him into bed).

One night while Peter was getting ready for bed he heard mama and grandpa arguing in harsh whispers.

“Mer, you can’t trust this guy with your son.”

“Dad, what do you want me to do? Ban my boyfriend from being near my son?”

“Peter is six years old, that man is a bad influence for him.”

“Dad, playing the guitar and being in a band isn’t bad.”

“He doesn’t even have a job---“

“He takes care of Peter and that’s good enough.”

“I just don’t trust this man with you, let alone Peter!!”

“Dad! Enough or get out!”

“Fine, fine, do what you want, Mer but you and Peter are all I have left, please don’t blindly trust a stranger.”

Sometime after the two years of hell that would follow, Peter would look back on this argument and wish he would have vouched from his grandfather but Peter was too star struck to see the warning signs too. Not like a six year old would know what was and wasn’t suspicious.


	4. The Fungus Comes Out

Peter was sleeping soundly late the next morning, a soft whistle sound coming from the boy with each breath. 

Yondu snorted at the noise but didn’t move to disturb the boy or leave the area instead waited for Kraglin to show up, right on time like usual. The cabin boy kept up this good work and he might find himself as the first mate someday (he usually went through those quickly anyhow for one reason or another).

Kraglin frowned seeing his captain relaxed on the cot, bare foot, jacket tossed on the ground as comfortable as he could be and the boy still nowhere in sight. Kraglin, the loyal little sod he was, didn’t question his captain about it simply sat the tray down in the cell like he had every morning since they got the boy.

“Ya want something from the mess too, Sir?” he asked simply, eyes still curiously scanning the cell.

“Coffee. Make it black.”

“No breakfast?”

“Ya already got it right there in yer hand, the boy don’t want to eat much and I doubt he will trust it unless I take some bites off it first.”

“Did ya get him to eat anything at all?”

Yondu glanced under the cot peering at the sleeping boy, clinging tight to his music player and noticed the empty glass and missing food. 

“The boy is a fungus,” Yondu grunted, “Only takes water and a tiny bit of substance and needs to stay in a dark cool areas.”

Kraglin wasn’t sure if that was right since he had read Terrans biology was similar to his own race but were a few centuries back on the evolution scale (just like with everything else on that primitive rock) but only responded with a look of disbelief, which the captain grunted at. 

“I’ll be back with yer coffee soon, Sir.”

Yondu was once more alone with nothing but the little snores coming from under the bed. He grunted bored as ever but defiantly stayed where he was.

He heard Peter moaning and straightened feeling him moving under there. A few minutes came and went and nothing really became of the boys almost pained groans, he settled on his own and fell back asleep.

Yondu understood this. The nightmares were bad but they were nothing compared to the real thing, it was best to leave him be while he settled himself down.

Kraglin, right on time as usual, arrived before Peter woke up or stopped whimpering in his sleep. Kraglin peered curiously under the cot but Yondu snatching the coffee from him, bringing his attention back to his duties.

Yondu watched the boy disappear once more and smirked, best decision of his life giving the boy a chance to prove himself. Best worker on the whole ship, didn’t give him lip and followed every order to a T.

Worthless in a fight (Yondu already had to depose of three of his crew to save the boy’s neck), couldn’t really hold his blaster right and crashed his M Ship twice already but that was alright, Yondu would make a proper man of him yet just like he would do to the one under him. 

He picked up the tray the boy had left behind and took large bites from most of it leaving behind enough for Peter before setting is aside. He heard Peter under him crying again and sighed loudly, boy’s demons were kicking his ass it seemed. No real shame in needing help he supposed.

He sank on the floor, reaching his hand under and brushing the boy’s hair feeling him relax to the touch. Peter still whimpered quietly and tried to pull from the touch but Yondu just kept gently petting him, it worked well enough with the past kids Ego had him ferry. He remembered the boy’s love of music and began humming a song he had heard a dozen times before that box finally died. He had been relieved since it was annoying but feeling the boy instantly relax at the humming, he realized he would have to fix the damn thing as soon as possible if he wanted a single night’s rest without listening to the boy cry.

He heard a low cough from behind him and instantly became silent once more, moving away from the now sound asleep child.

“Fungus was makin’ a fuss,” he grunted yanking the coffee from the amused cabin boy’s hands, “Just makin’ it quiet down again.”

“Of course, cap’n,” he said smiling and Yondu turned from him with a grunt sinking back into the cot.

“I need to get back to the brig for a few hours,” he said firmly pulling his boots back on, “Make sure those idiots aren’t destroying the place. Keep an eye on the fungus till I get back.”

“Stay put and that’s an order Kraglin,” he said firmly glancing back to see the boys firm nod telling him he was going to get the job done before leaving the two kids behind.

Maybe it would be good for Peter to be around someone closer to his own age and for Kraglin to have some time off from dealing with men twice his age treating him like he was their personal servant.

\---

Peter’s breathing came out thick. Fingers tightening around his Walkman, pressing down hard on the play button and began gasping out sobs when he realized it wasn’t working. The batteries were dead and he had no more he tried to reason to his panic but he let out a wounded howl.

He didn’t know how else to make the thoughts go away. Without music to drown it out, he didn’t know what to do.

He let out a shaking hum and closed his eyes trying to remember the beat to Oh Child. He’d listened to it a million times, he knew it by heart and this may be the only way he would ever be able to hear his favorite song again. Tears began to drop at last at that solemn thought, he lost his mother and her music within hours of each other and was once more in a situation no child should be in.

He couldn’t remember the words right away so he just kept humming the melody until the dark cloud over his thoughts began to subside.

“Oh child, things are gonna get easier…” he whispered slowly tightening his eyes trying to remember the song, concentrating only on that and not the bed that began to shift or the eyes he could feel watching him. 

“Oooh child…someday, someday, we’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun…”

He couldn’t remember if he was getting the lyrics right, but he just went back to humming the melody he could never forget and imagined mom singing it to him. Her arms cold, the fingers resting on his cheek clammy, tears damping his hair and the choked sobs muddling the words. As sad as that image was, it made Peter feel less alone then he was now, curled into himself clinging to his Walkman and humming a song he couldn’t completely remember the lyrics to with one of the creatures who kidnapped him watching. He didn’t remember where his back pack went, he thinks its out there out of his safe spot of under the bed near the person watching him. He lets out another choked sob, why couldn’t they just leave him alone?!

“Hey, little man…”

Peter bites his lip hard and curls tighter into himself, that wasn’t the captain, he didn’t know who that was and didn’t really want to find out, the captain himself was annoying enough.

“Ya are safe, alright, buddy?” he sounded young like a teenager and that made Peter’s shoulders tense less, he was just a kid like Peter, that wasn’t as threatening.

“Yer on a ship full of criminals sure but we don’t hurt kids.”

“Ya can come out if ya want, it’s really cramped down there and between you and me, I think the captain may be lying sayin’ ya is fungus…”

All the negative things Peter had been thinking about were put on pause as he thought of how ridiculous it was for anyone to consider him to be a fungus. Before he could stop himself, he was letting his thoughts slip past his lips.

“What do you even want with me? Are ya gonna do weird tests on me because you’re too dumb to know what a human boy is?!”

Peter tensed feeling the hand on his shoulder and began to shiver feeling the stranger crawl in next to him, gently running his fingers through his hair just like mom once had.

“I’m not very smart,” he admitted, “But I don’t need to be to know the captain would gut me if I even looked at you wrong.” 

“Don’t touch me!” Peter spat moving closer to the wall clinging to his Walkman tighter, his most prized possession. It might be dead but it was the only source of momma he had left and it gave him comfort.

The man, boy, Peter realized turning his head slightly to look back to make sure he was moving away, pulled his hand away and backed up but didn’t leave him alone. Just stayed there staring at him, in concern. Peter softened a little getting a better look at him, his face was hairless and squishy, he wasn’t much older than Peter. He looked like one of the neighborhood teens who used to offer to walk him home and were always nice to him, offering him sweets and kind words while momma was in the hospital. 

Minutes crept by and no words were spoken, but the other boy seemed to be trying to make him feel better or at least stop crying by humming the song he had been humming earlier.

“How ya feelin’ now little guy?”

“Like I have to pee,” Peter admitted but made no attempt to move from where he was at.

“Well there is a toilet right—“

“I’m not going with you in here with me.”

The teen made an annoyed grunt at that and after several minutes started up a speech Peter was sure he had to prepare during the long silence.

“Listen real good little man, I get it, ya don’t want people near ya vulnerable like that but I have direct orders from the captain that I am not going to leave this area until he comes back from his business.”

“Then I’m not coming out,” Peter stated matter of factly crossing his arms tight and curling into a tighter ball.

“Then don’t, hold it all ya want little man.”

Peter stood his ground once more not intimidated by another child and felt a little braver being near someone with no power like him.

“Are you another kidnapped kid?”

There was a pause before the boy answered with an amused chuckle.

“Nope,” he stated quite proudly, “I’m a member of the crew. Not quite a full-fledged yet but I will be soon.”

“Soo you’re like their servant then?”

“A cabin boy ain’t a servant!” he growled offended by the accusation.

“Whatever you say, dude,” Peter said ending the argument before it started another wave of exhaustion settling over him.

The cabin boy seemed to be waiting for another reply, maybe a change of conversation but he seemed to know it wasn’t coming as Peter just lay there staring at the wall, sadly running his fingers over his dead Walkman.

“I’ll tell ya what, I’ll face the wall, cover my ears and close me eyes while ya pee.”

“You’ll still be there…” Peter whispered uncomfortably not liking the idea of someone he didn’t know being in the same room as him as he went to the bathroom.

“But I won’t be lookin, ya have my word little man, I won’t peak and if I break my promise it means certain death.”

Peter became uncomfortable once more at the promise but was intrigued, this wasn’t a grown man, he was a kid like Peter. It wasn’t any different than going at school.

“Ok.”

The words were faint and filled with shame but somehow the cabin boy caught them and moved so Peter could come out. Peter hesitated as he crawled to the opening but the cabin boy didn’t try anything with him, he backed up and when Peter still hesitated, he went back more.

He was far from threatening. Tall and lean, dorky hair cut he must have thought made him look tough and his nervous smile showed he was missing some front teeth. Peter was half his size but felt he had a good chance at taking him if he tried anything with him. He wasn’t gonna trust him or anything, he’d keep his guard up but he didn’t need to hide from this one. He wouldn’t hurt him. Not right now anyway. Maybe later, maybe not. Who knows. Peter sure didn’t and knew he couldn’t stop it even if he did, so might as well be smarter about the fights he started.

“Don’t look,” Peter said firmly poking his head out from under the bed for the first time in days.

The cabin boy put his hands out and backed up before slowly turning around to face the cell door. Peter didn’t move yet.

“Cover your ears and close your eyes,” he demanded beginning to crawl out of his safe space.

“I ain’t gonna back on my word, little man,” Peter smiled practically hearing the eye role watching him put his hands over his ears and beginning to hum loudly for extra effect.

Peter slowly crawled from underneath the bed and grabbed the edge, he felt dizzy as he tried to pull himself up. He fell once, then once more, his muscles not used to moving. He saw the cabin boy glance over with concern, silently asking him if he needed help but Peter shook his head stubbornly and didn’t try to move until the teen faced away from him again. He smiled at the loud groan of annoyance before he went back to humming loudly.

He rested for a minute sitting on the edge of his bed, feeling his limbs gain some life before getting up on wobbly legs and completing his business. The bad part about accepting water meant he had to go to the bathroom he thought glumly.

At the sound of his zipper going back up the cabin boy lowered his hands and turned back towards him with a smile.

“Come sit on yer bed instead of under,” cabin boy almost begged looking at him with concerned eyes, “I won’t sit by ya if ya don’t want me to.”

Peter nodded, every part of him aching from being cramped under there so long and maybe he would get a little more privacy if he just complied with they wanted. A little at least, he didn’t plan on giving them their way too often.

“Do ya want ta try to eat?”

Peter didn’t respond just sitting on the bed and pulling his back pack next to him.

“The captain ate a little off it, ok a lot off it but he seems convinced ya are fungus and don’t need much to keep going.”

“I’m not hungry,” he grumbled slipping his Walkman from his pocket and into his backpack and pulling it closer to him.

“Water at least? Even fungus needs that…”

Peter hesitantly nodded and held his hand out for the glass cabin boy was offering. He took slow drinks and found himself asking for more when he finished the glass, he felt so dry and just wanted the water, nothing else right now.

“I’m not ‘fungus’,” he grumbled after a few minutes and cabin boy just laughed at that. 

“Then what are ya then?”

“My name is Star Lord.”

It was a stupid thing to say and it was treated as such, the cabin boy had to hold his breath to keep out the laugh. Cut Peter some slack though, he was eight and didn’t exactly want to give his kidnappers his real name. His mother’s nickname was the best he could do and he always thought it was badass but the space pirate wannabe in the room begged to differ.

Peter turned a bright red in embarrassment and snarled out who he was to laugh at his name, his name was probably just as stupid. He wasn’t even some badass captain like Captain Jerk Ass was, so whatever his name or nickname or whatever was it couldn’t be much better than his own.

“Kraglin Obfonteri,” he said with a shrug and smile, “Not as cool as ‘Star Lord’ but ya know, I get by.” 

“With a name like that, ya should ask to be a ravenger,” he said smug look settling on his face as he settled on the floor next to Peter’s bed, “Yer wanted poster will at least look cool.”

“Is that what you guys are?”

“Terra really is a primitive planet to not know who the legendary ravengers are,” Kraglin scoffed sinking cross legged on the floor in front of Peter’s cot, blocking his path way to the place he had been hiding.

“Let me teach ya some, little man.”

“Ta start, we are the best of the best. A group of highly trained, specialized bad asses who can do and steal whatever we want without ever being caught.”

“If this group is so awesome, how’d ya get in it?”

Kraglin scowled at the boy and Peter couldn’t help the flinch but to his surprise Kraglin didn’t even raise his hand to him, he just shook his head at him like mama had done when she was annoyed with him.

“I am in training, ya brat,” he said puffing his chest out and shooting a proud smile Peter’s way that he found himself returning, “And for your information, I was handpicked by the captain himself because I showed such promise.”

“If ya say so…”

“I do but I ain’t gonna brag about that yet, not until ya know what a ravenger even is so you can fully appreciate how amazing it is I was picked to be one.”

And he did alright. Kraglin went on and on about this group of space pirates that followed a special code but what caught Peter’s attention was a single word.

“Being a ravager is freedom?”

“The very definition of the word. Ya do what ya want, go where ya want, steal what ya want and no one is around to stop you.”

Peter was full attention after that. Letting every word, every battle and every historic tidbit Kraglin rambled on about sink into his mind.

Peter sank on the floor next to Kraglin as he continued to prattle on about how amazing ravagers, particularly his crew was. Yondu or Captain Jerk Ass as Peter had been calling him and probably would continue for the time being was quite the bad ass by the sound of it. 

To be a ravager, you had to impress the captain. Peter wanted far away from the people who had hurt him and he wanted to be strong like them and most of all he wanted the freedom Kraglin described. He didn’t know how but he was going to be a ravager, whatever they had planned on doing with him be damned, it wasn’t happening now.

Peter rested his head on Kraglin’s lap as another wave of exhaustion passed through him during his epic tale of how the captain had single handed killed an entire army just to get some kind of jewel, complete with loud sound effects from the cabin boy.

Peter felt comfortable against his quaking knees as he began flailing his fist trying to recreate a fight for him.

Peter smiled up at him and scooted closer. He didn’t have to let his guard down or trust someone to like them he reasoned to the suspicious part of him.


	5. Bargain

“This isn’t the course to Ego’s---“

“Don’t mention that sack of shits name to me if’n you like your eyes in your head,” Yondu snarled in his first mate’s direction making him shut up instantly. 

“Sides, the boy ain’t for Ego, already told ya we don’t deal with him anymore after he double crossed me with Tali.”

“Can I ask who the boy is for then, cap’n? You haven’t set any course for him yet.”

“I was paid quite the bundle by his momma actually,” Yondu lied easily not like his first mate was smart enough to catch him in it, “Half a million to just take him in, so I did. Don’t know what I am gonna do with him from there or why the woman thought she could trust me but she did. Soo we might as well make the welp useful.”

“Useful?” Horuz snarled walking into the once empty room making his worthless first mate jump at the man’s presence, “How the hell ya gonna make a baby useful?”

“I’ve been sayin’ it since ya set course for Terra cap’n, you already have the money, just drop him off, let him be someone else’s problem. One baby ya picked up is good enough.”

Yondu glared at Horuz as the man walked straight for the computer screens, easily shoving the first mate over enough to get a good view on where they were headed.

“We are headed into dead space,” Horuz scowled loudly looking at the direction the captain was heading them into, “There ain’t nothing for miles, nothing but dead planets.”

“That would be the point,” was Yondu’s only response.

“Ya being soft for the cabin boy again?” Horuz continued not caring if he was stepping onto thin ice, each word cracking the captain’s patience a little bit more, “That boy ain’t fit to be a ravager but ya take us so far away from civilized society just ta----“

The arrow was inches from the man’s face now.

“Don’t push yer luck, ya ain’t useful enough to me to regret killing.” 

“Whether I want cabin boy to crash another M Ship or not will be my decision,” he hissed into the man’s face, his first mate ducking back into his work to avoid the confrontation, “And if’n y’all don’t agree…”

The first mate’s eyes widened as the arrow shot towards him then back toward Horuz who was holding his hands up in defeat, not wanting to risk it. Excellent pilot and mechanic he may be but he wasn’t that good to save him from the arrow.

“Everything is set in order once more,” he said directly to his first mate. The young Xandarian looked like he was about to wet himself as he nodded, brushing his long ratty black hair behind his ear.

“Aye captain, the course is set and everything is going smoothly, so you shouldn’t be needed, sir…”

The first mate was young and stupid, only getting the job after the crew had thrown him in front of Yondu after he asked who would stand as his first mate after the last three in a row had been killed. The job was cursed and no one wanted it, Yondu had to make due with incompetent and stupid if he wanted anyone to take charge beside him.

Lord help me, Yondu thought to himself shaking his head seeing the first mate already messing up his coordinates he had just set as he nervously pounded his hand into the control panel. It didn’t matter, there was nothing in dead space but unoccupied planets ravished by the kree empire years ago. Perfect place to stay low away from an angry celestial he had just denied his next victim and not a bad place to start training his wards.

Plenty of old mines, temples and abandoned cities in dead space to loot for anyone brave enough to set foot on them.

He was gonna make ravagers out of them yet, maybe then he would actually have some useful members of his crew…. 

Before exiting the room he stopped and looked straight into Horuz’s eyes daring the man to test his patience more but he was already backing off and putting his hands up in defeat.

“Best be getting used to the babies, because they aren’t going anywhere until I say so.”

\---

Whatever Yondu was expecting when he approached the cell, it wasn’t what he saw. Peter was out of his hiding place for the first time in days, curled against Kraglin who was leaning against the cot, head tilted back in what looked like a painful position and snoring.

Both boys sleeping soundly. Peter curled against Kraglin and Kraglin’s hand resting in the boys dirty hair. 

The was the first real look he had gotten of the child in days, he had bruises on his arm that were healing but still fresh from when his crew had grabbed him, his cloths were wrinkled and dusty. His left eye swollen still, just as it had been the night they picked him up but it was slowly fading.

None of the crew was clean exactly but they were genuinely cleaner than this. He would need a cleaning to ward off any unwanted sickness soon. 

For now, he let the boys sleep. Kraglin was proving to be the most useful one on this whole damn ship at only fifteen. He knew he let that kid stay for a reason, he never let him down or bad mouthed him like the rest of these good for nothings.

Yondu made to leave but saw Peter shifting on Kraglin’s lap, a loud yawn blowing onto Kraglin’s face making the older boy groan in his sleep but he didn’t try to move. Peter was rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, oblivious to Yondu’s presence.

Yondu cleared his throat after several minutes of just watched the boy scrub at his eyes and pop his neck followed by every finger. Yondu really didn’t have all day for the boy to get done doing whatever he was doing.

Peter’s back tensed and he paused popping his pinky, head turning towards Yondu. His expression went from nervous to determined in a matter of seconds. The boy taking a few deep breaths before scrambling to his feet and standing tall in front of Yondu on the other side of the bars, his fists tight and shaking at his side holding his fears.

“I want to be a ravager.”

That Yondu didn’t expect, he just stared at the boy trying to stand proudly before him but Yondu saw the quakes making their way through him, he saw the deep breaths he took when Yondu continued to not respond. 

“That ain’t yer decision, boy.”

Peter didn’t seem to want to relent on his new choice.

“Whoever is paying for me, I’ll offer triple.”

Yondu didn’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry seeing that look of pure terror at what this may imply in the future for him but the boy seemed to have his mind made up, he was dead set on being a part of his crew it seemed.

“What if I told ya I don’t want a snot nosed brat in my crew?”

“You let Kraglin join…”

Yondu did laugh at that one, this boy was something else.

“What if the only way of joining my crew, hypothetically speakin’, was to let my crew rip each limb off, one by one and let them eat those limbs to satisfy their thirst for Terran meat?”

Peter’s eyes were wide and he was shaking but he only tightened his fists more and stared Yondu straight in the eyes as he said firmly.

“I been through worse.”

“Yer a piece of work ya know that?” Yondu said shaking his head staring the little boy square in the eyes, “Ya spend three entire days hiding and now ya want to stay here for what could be the rest of your life. You may be damning yourself to unspeakable torture and ya still want it.”

“Ya don’t even want to ask why we picked yer skinny ass up in the first place?”

Peter grinded his teeth against his lip for a minute before whispering.

“My mom told me my daddy was from space…”he began but stopped trying to find the right words, “It must have had something to do with him.”

“And ya don’t want us to take ya to this hypothetical daddy, why?”

“Because I hate him…” 

Yondu didn’t quite know how to respond to that one and felt whatever he would say to this traumatized child would be walking on thin ice. But he would give it to the kid, he was an excellent judge of character, Ego wasn’t someone worthy of love after what he had done to his children.

But, maybe Yondu himself wasn’t worthy of this boy’s undying trust either since he had helped kill five of this boy’s siblings.

“He left mom to die and let us suffer. He coulda stopped it, I know he coulda but he didn't…” he whispered tears beginning to fall again as his fists tightened. Yondu could see the brief flashes of fear there too, “He didn’t deserve mom’s love, no one did.” 

“Do you even know anything about yer daddy? Momma ever talk about him? Anything?”

“ Not much but….I hate him,” he hissed out through a whimper shaking harder, something told Yondu he was lying but he didn't push it. The boy continued to stand his ground turning his angry, tear stained eyes up towards Yondu again, “And I don’t want to see him. I want freedom.”

Yondu didn’t respond to the boy feeling pity for him again watching the bravado fade and him sink to the floor openly crying. His loud sobs woke Kraglin up who was next to him in an instant, hovering next to him looking at the captain desperately, begging him to tell him what to do.

“Take the rest of the day off,” he said directly to Kraglin, “Stay in here with the boy, I’ll send someone with food later.”

Kraglin nodded running his fingers through Peter’s hair, letting the boy collapse on him sobbing.

“I’ll consider your offer boy,” he said before turning away not knowing how to handle this. The boy didn’t need to make an offer. Yondu had his heart set on making him apart of his crew long before Ego could fully remember his name and slip him his money, but handling a traumatized kid without messing him up more was something he needed to figure out before he told the boy the good news.


	6. Yondu and Ego

*Several Days Ago*

On some lawless moon colony Yondu liked to visit from time to time to fuel up the ships, gather supplies and find a reason to drink, everything changed for him.

The unlucky half of the crew wasn’t to touch a drop of alcohol or visit a single brothel until the ship was restocked. Feeling some leniency for the poor cabin boy who had been busting his ass day in and day out without complaint, Yondu invited him to join him for a round of cards and a shot of the finest alcohol. 

Just when Yondu began to relax, enjoying the cabin boy’s sleight of hand (he let it go that he saw the cards he was hiding up his sleeve), the man Yondu hated the most walked back into his life. The man who made Stakar cut ties with him and banish him, the man who put the blood of babies on his hands and made him what he swore he would never be…a slaver.

“Yondu, you are a difficult man to track down, let me tell you.”

Yondu didn’t respond to the man who had invited himself to sit next to him taking another long sip of his drink. Kraglin, who was sitting across from him, was now eying the new person at the table wearily. Eyes flicking from his cards to the man nervously, his other hand cautiously moving towards the blaster on his side.

“Won’t do ya no good boy, Ego here ain’t human and don’t bleed, already tried it.”

Yondu smiled at the panic that shot across his charge’s face, boy needed to learn to calm down and not be so obvious. He was lucky Ego wasn’t here to bring them any harm or he would already be dead going right for his blaster with a creature as unpredictable and dangerous as Ego. It didn’t matter that Kraglin was young, this son of a bitch already had his own babies blood still drying on his hands. 

“Go help Tulk load the supplies.”

That’s what Yondu loved about Kraglin, he didn’t question an order, he shot up and respectfully bowed his head only taking one glance back before leaving.

“I ain’t helpin’ ya kidnap and slaughter anymore babies,” Yondu replied folding his cards neatly and putting the cards safely back into his own pocket before turning his cold red eyes towards Ego.

“That is not what was going on,” Ego began frowning, he was offended and didn’t seem to understand how severe his actions were. 

“What you witnessed with Rol was an unfortunate accident. She fell and it destroyed me to lose my daughter like that.”

Yondu snarled but didn’t move, not wanting to take his chances with a freaking god. Rol wasn’t her name, it was Tali, Rol was his son who disappeared on his own freaking planet when he arrived with Tali.

“The ground broke when yer daughter ran begging me not to leave her with you!” he snapped.

“The ground was uneven and I had warned you not to land in that area because of the cave ins!”

“Bull! Like I’m gonna buy a celestial can’t control his own damn body mass!”

“That is utterly ridiculous! Can you just control everything about your body?! Don’t lie to me either Yondu, you can’t, I am well versed in your biology.”

“Why ya bothering me, Ego?” Yondu snarled out, “I ain’t gonna go collect no more of yer babies. Not after you lose four and one dies in front of me after finding something so scary about you after three days that she wanted me ta take her back to her war torn planet.”

“As much as we currently dislike each other,” he began and Yondu snorted loudly at that, that was an understatement, “You’re the only one I can trust to bring my last child back to me alive and unharmed.”

Yondu didn’t respond to that, didn’t know why he wanted his babies in one piece if he was just gonna kill them anyway.

“He’s from an uncharted planet called Terra. A primitive planet with no allegiance to any empire, they have no idea there is other life in the galaxy, think they are truly the only life forms in the universe.”

“Ain’t that a little bellow a mighty god like you?” Yondu snorted out a laugh, “Can’t get any from smart ladies, so ya got to go get yer dick wet in a barely evolved species that don’t know any better.”

Ego took a deep breath choosing to ignore Yondu’s insult as he continued.

“My son Peter means more to me than any other child I have sired. I was present for his birth but I haven’t returned since and don’t plan to.”

“If yer boy means so damn much to ya that ya actually know this one’s name, why not go collect him yer damn self?”

“I will have no choice to if you refuse my offer but his mother will be dead in exactly four days and it would be very upsetting for me to have to return to a planet where someone I loved so much is gone.” 

Ego pulled a units disc from his pocket and slid it towards Yondu, his eyes widened at the amount, half a million that was double what the others were worth to this man.

“I will pay you whatever else you want if you return Peter to me, safe and unharmed, please Yondu, I beg you, return my boy to me. I will make you richer than any life form in this galaxy if you only comply to this one last request. Think of that in yer hand as a promise of what is to come.”

Yondu smiled smugly down at the units in his hand and nodded in agreement. Ego, thinking he had won, smiled brightly and went to buy them another round from the bar tender.

Yondu slipped the units into his pocket. He would get the boy but Ego would never see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be my last real update for awhile but I will try to keep working on the story to get the next chapters out as soon as life lets me. 
> 
> I just really wanted to get out the Yondu and Ego chapter since I'm kinda proud of it. I'm gonna expand on this stuff later either in this story or the sequel.


	7. the past (part two)

Peter would have many secrets with Johnny over the course of the next two years. The first was but a warning sign a small child would have no way of picking up on.

Mama had been working later and later, bills were getting harder to pay she whispered to Johnny in hushed whispers when they thought Peter was sleeping, mama worried about medical bills the most it seemed but Johnny always told her not to worry, they would find some way to pay them.

Peter voiced his fears to no one real, whispering his fears to his stuffed racoon he pulled close to him waiting for his mama to come back home. She kept coming home later and later, Peter feared she might not come back at all one day and he didn’t know how he would survive that blow.

One night, he pretended to fall right asleep after Johnny put him to bed and snuck back down stairs to hide and wait to see what was wrong with mom.

Johnny was shaking bad as he paced in the kitchen in his under wear (which mom usually yelled at him about only being in), phone held tight and the bright yellow cord tangling around him during his frantic pace.

“I don’t have the money…not with Mer having to deal with her medical bills…”

“Yes, I do want my knee caps to remain intact…” he paused and Peter could hear someone yelling at him from the other end of the phone, “I’ll get it, I’ll get the money, somehow…just please give me more time…”

Peter felt a pang of pity seeing his friend collapse at the table, drinking straight out of the bottle he wasn’t allowed to touch, tears beginning to mist around the edges of his eyes.

“Johnny, are you ok?”

“Just fine little dude, just fine,” he said with a painted-on smile making Peter worry more just staring at the man.

Johnny rose from where he was sitting and took Peter’s hand, ushering him back to bed with a gentle smile. He tucked him in once more and kissed him on the forehead like always setting Lily, his racoon doll, beside him once more.

“Where is momma?”

“She’s…” he paused and Peter became impatient and once more asked about her whereabouts when he got no answer. It was getting late and he wanted her here to tuck him in and continue her story about the many adventures he would have in the future as the Star Lord.

“She’s sick buddy,” he finally said running his fingers through Peter’s hair but Peter just knocked his hand away not liking that answer. Mama didn’t lie or hide things from him, if she was she would have told him.

“She wanted to tell you but she was afraid you wouldn’t understand she sometimes has to stay in the hospital.”

Peter said nothing, hospitals weren’t good places. Grandma went there and she never came back when momma told him she would have to stay there sometimes. He just continued to stare off, not understanding why mama would keep this from him unless she was going to leave too.

“She’s coming back right?” he demanded looking at Johnny with eyes already filling with tears.

“Sure, buddy, she will. She’s gonna be better, she’ll talk to you about this all in the morning herself and tell you this is only temporary.”

“Is that why you need money?” he asked between sobs pulling his raccoon doll grandma had made him the day he was born closer and mom had named Lily herself just wanting to feel closer to mama right now. Not liking at all that she was keeping things from him, mom was his best friend and best friends don’t keep things big from you unless it was something bad.

“Pretend you didn’t hear that little dude, it would be a huge favor to me if your mom didn’t know I was tight on cash again.” 

“But the other person didn’t sound happy,” Peter whispered and Johnny sighed resting his hand on the child’s hair.

“I’m helping your mom by not telling her what’s going on little dude and you will be too if you don’t breathe a word of this to her.”

“Can I do anything else to help mom?” he asked sobbing louder as the man pulled him into a hug, kissing his forehead once more.

“Everything comes with a price kiddo.”

And it did. Helping meant blood, tears and nightmares. Wanting desperately to give his mom a few more years lead to being tricked and deceived by those smarter and bigger then him. 

It was the price he paid for being young, stupid and hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little set up for what is to come. The next few parts are gonna be pretty long, so be patient with me while I write them (and finish college too).


	8. Too Much

Peter’s tears began to calm as he watched the captain disappear. He felt so empty and stupid. Everything was happening too fast and he didn’t fully understand any of it. Just a few days ago, Peter had watched his mother die, his best friend and only person who ever cared enough to protect him, now he was considering becoming a space pirate just to not be sold to someone he didn’t know and had a very bad feeling about or go back to a planet that caused him pain.

It all felt like too much.

“Do you want a hug?” Kraglin asked nervously but Peter shook his head firmly holding his fists tighter, he didn’t want to be touched right now. He furiously began swiping the tears from his eyes before turning back towards Kraglin. He felt so stupid, how was he supposed to make his case for being a space pirate crying like a baby in front of the captain?

Kraglin sat in front of the bed preventing Peter from going back to his hiding place, he patted the spot beside him and Peter once more laid his head down on the older boy’s lap, staring off into nothing. Kraglin rested his hand on his head, just like mama used to and just let it lie there.

“How did you become a ravager Krag?” 

Kraglin had a large smile on his face at that, he was the bragging type Peter could tell and had been ready to explode keeping the story to himself so long.

“Come sit by me and let me learn ya, how I Kraglin, defeat the most revered ravenger of them all, our very own Yondu Udonta at a friendly and fair game of poker.”

“Ya cheat?” Peter whispered swiping the last few tears and snot from his face and onto his sleeve. Kraglin didn’t seem to mind or find the act disgusting as many people usually did making Peter like the boy more.

Kraglin made a So-So gesture with his hands and made a face like even he wasn’t sure how much of it was sportsman like.

“So, imagine it if you will, a lone Xandar orphan---“

“What is ‘Xandar’?”

“Terra really is primitive and I am thankful we saved one of its children from a life of ignorance.”

“Its my home planet,” Kraglin said but his smile faltered at the admission, Peter knew that look, Kraglin really wasn’t much different then him, neither had anything to go back home to.

“Or planet I was born on, the Elector is my home and always will be,” there was pride oozing from each word, Peter tried to relax and will away the tremors still making their way through him. He remembered doing this with mom but he pushed those memories back, he didn’t want to cry anymore over things he couldn’t change.

“But Xandar isn’t really that special,” he said waving that off, “The important part was I was in the right place at the right time the very first time I saw the captain.”

“I’d heard of him prior before, naturally, I mean who hadn’t?”

“I hadn’t---“

“Who, from a non primitive, actually important planet, hadn’t,” Kraglin specified with a huff of annoyance which Peter returned.

“I only heard of him through rumors and through the mouth of someone who owed him money---“

“Was that person really you but you are too proud to say it?”

“NO!”

Kraglin looked down at Peter with a face that made him instantly become quiet, Kraglin looked pretty pissed. Peter took a slow, shuddering breath and made to move away from him in case he decided to take a swat at him but instead tensed at the hand resting in his hair, gently scratching his scalp.

It was demeaning reminding him of how he used to pet his mother’s cat when she curled on him but it was comforting so he didn’t immediately swat the hand away. He let him scratch for a few more seconds before he began to wiggle away, silently telling him he didn’t want to be touched. Kraglin took the hint and moved his hand letting Peter rise and pull his knees close to his chest, curling his arms around them, resting his head on them.

Kraglin just stared at him in concern.

“I won’t hurt you, Star Lord,” he whispered gently, “I promise. I’m not good at much but I excel at keeping my promises. What is a man if you can’t rely on what he says anyway?”

“But you’re not a man,” Peter whispered, “You’re just a kid like me.”

He let out a small whimper, burying his head into his knees.

“How do you do it? How do you…”

“Be so handsome and amazing at everything I do,” Kraglin joked but his words were hollow, he was afraid like him. Confused like him. But…

“How do you know what you want? Brave enough to just do it?” he sobbed. However Kraglin did it, the captain of a band of scary alien space pirates let him join the crew on his own merits. He wasn’t forced into a situation, he did it on his own fruition and seemed happy with his choice. 

“I’m not always brave,” he admitted slowly staring at Peter as he began to cry again but the tears were slowing at the cabin boy’s words, “I don’t always know what I want and yer right, I am just a kid over his head like you are.”

“But I make do, like I have been seeing you do too. Orphans gotta stick together the way I see it and I ain’t gonna let anything bad happen to you.”

“If you want to be a ravager, I’ll make it happen even if I gotta stalk and cheat against the captain all over again.”

“Wait, Stalk and Cheat?” Peter asked his tear stained and snot covered face looking directly at Kraglin now. Kraglin smiled at him getting up and getting some toilet paper, wordlessly handing it to Peter who nodded his thanks.

“Its quite the story you keep interrupting.”

Peter once more laid his head on Kraglin’s lap when he sat down on the floor once more.

Before Kraglin could let out another breath to finally begin his epic tale, Peter interrupted him one last time.

“My real name is Peter Quill, Star Lord is just my code name.” 

Kraglin smiled mischievously down at him, “I already knew little man but I wanted you to tell me when you was ready.” 

“Kraglin, I don’t feel good,” he finally admitted and Kraglin nodded knowingly down at him. Everything felt like too much for him right now, like he was stuck in a vortex of raw emotions he couldn’t control.

“Come lie down,” Kraglin instructed patting the bed. 

Kraglin gently helped him up, he body felt numb and wasn’t being cooperative with him at all. He would have fallen if Kraglin wasn’t holding onto him like he was. Kraglin gently plopped him onto the bed, pulling the blankets on him.

“You want anything from your pack to make you feel better?”

Peter nodded against the pillow, all of a sudden feeling too drained to talk. He didn’t understand what was wrong with him, everything felt like too much and he didn’t feel like he could handle anything, even something as simple as talking.

He shuddered a little at Kraglin’s fingers raking through his hair before relaxing to the touch. Kraglin pulled his Walkman out and said something about it Peter couldn’t hear as he shut his eyes, shutting the world out a little.

He felt his racoon doll being put beside him and he instantly latched onto to Lily, breathing in her familiar scent. She smelt like mom. The tears started a new.

He didn’t know how long he was out for but he when he finally came too, he was alone. Kraglin was gone, Captain Jerk Ass was nowhere to be seen and most peculiar the cell door was open for the first time in days.


	9. A Fine Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some warnings for this one: Peter has a panic attack and some implied sexual assault is in this chapter. Like I promised nothing is graphic but it is there.

“Cabin boy, what the hell ya doing down here!”

Kraglin paid Tulk no mind continuing to dig through the scraps the mechanics just threw around instead of putting them back in their proper places.

“I’m trying to fix this thing,” Kraglin said simply pulling a glowing device up and picking the Walkman up, holding them both side by side, trying to determine if they were compatible.

“Boy’s not feeling well and I think fixing this will help him.”

“Yer too soft boy,” the older man snarled, “The boy is cargo and it don’t matter how he feels. Captain got him eating again, that should make ya happy.”

Kraglin snarled back standing tall in front of the man, not in the mood to take his shit like he normally would.

“That little boy is hurting and I’m not gonna let him suffer,” he snapped poking his finger squarely into the man’s broad chest, “Ya didn’t have to see him lying there three days in a row, refusing to eat, barely sleeping and not coming out for anything. You may be ok with a little boy dying but I’m not.”

“And for your information, he’s not eating still and he’s not cargo, he’s not going anywhere.”

“That ain’t yer call cabin boy,” the man growled grabbing onto Kraglin’s shirt and lifting him slightly in the air, fist poised to punch him.

“No but its mine.”

Kraglin was instantly released at Yondu’s entrance, stumbling backwards and landing flat on his ass with a grunt.

“Get used to the cargo, he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.”

Kraglin smiled brightly at this news and stuck his tongue out childishly at Tulk who merely scowled back as Kraglin rose off the ground and practically ran towards Yondu.

He wasn’t surprised to see Yondu didn’t appear happy to see him down here when he was tasked with keeping a close eye on Peter. He avoided eye contact with his captain and nervously scratched the back of his neck and tried to explain himself.

“I was just trying to fix his music thing,” the words were grumbled, words barely audible but Yondu got the message with Kraglin practically shoving the device in his face.

“Out,” was the only word Yondu said staring directly at Tulk who was still standing in the room, eyes directed at the pair, being nosy as usual. With Tulk’s mouth, the entire ship would know Peter was a permanent member of the crew by dinner. Whether that was a good thing or not was yet to be seen.

Once he was gone Yondu raised Kraglin’s chin up and Kraglin was relieved to see he wasn't angry with him, maybe a bit annoyed for not following orders but not angry.

“Kraglin,” he began his voice stern enough to let him know he was serious but soft enough to know he wasn’t going to hurt him.

“I can’t have Peter alone right now, you should know, it was you who brought it to my attention how bad that boy is right now.”

Kraglin nodded, a bit ashamed of himself for leaving. It was him who had begged the captain to not let the boy be alone and to fix what was wrong with him not liking to see him suffer like he was. He had been almost in tears every night since Peter was brought on the ship thinking of the child who wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t even take water, just hid under the bed in fear like a feral animal. Growing up in an orphanage, he had seen this before and this behavior was a warning sign the other kid was sick, real sick after whatever abuse they had gone through.

He recalled a girl, a good few years older than Peter who hid and refused to eat and just ended up killing herself because no one cared enough to help her.

Kraglin didn’t want to see another child suffer like that, he wanted Peter to get better. He had a spunk to him under that fear that would make him a good ravager someday, he didn’t want that potential wasted. 

“I know ya mean well, boy, but when I give an order, I expect it to be followed.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Yondu reached down and took the Walkman from Kraglin’s shaking hands and patted him gently on the shoulder.

“Get back where yer supposed to be and I’ll have one of the idiots fix this thing.”

Kraglin’s smile was blinding as he stared up at Yondu with admiration Yondu didn’t think he really deserved. He thumped his chest with pride and respect as he hurried past Yondu back to Peter’s cell.

In a crew full of hardened, dangerous criminals Yondu still felt squishy, kind hearted, too trusting Kraglin was his most useful asset and he hoped before long Peter would be as well. 

He let these thoughts mull around in his mind as he called for someone he knew wouldn’t add to the gossip to take a look at Peter’s music devise. Nut had joined the crew nearly five years ago and Yondu couldn’t tell you a thing about him other than he was a hard worker who could fix damn near anything. He didn’t plan on letting Peter near him anytime soon knowing he would be frightened by his spider like head and broad, thick android body. Him not being able to do much but hiss and snare wouldn’t help convince a child from a primitive planet he was harmless but maybe fixing up his devise might warm him up to him.

Nut, pulling quite the entrance, dropped from the ceiling having been somewhere at the other end of the large work space, probably working on the M Ship Kraglin had destroyed with that crash landing a month back. 

He stared at Yondu and Yondu just stared back handing him the device wordlessly. Curiously, Nut wrapped his humanoid mechanical hand around it and lightly moved it up and down looking up at his captain asking silently what he was fixing. 

“It’s a music box from Terra,” he said simply, “Do what ya can with it.”

Nut tilted his head and stared the device down before nodding to Yondu instantly picking some items off the floor before hurrying towards the back of hangar to find more to fix it with. 

“Captain! Captain!” his heart skipped a beat hearing Kraglin’s panicked voice from his com.

“Boy, calm down,” Yondu snarled into the device, “Breathe and tell me what’s got ya in such a huff.”

“Peter is gone! He’s not where I left him!”

Yondu cursed and kicked down a pile of junk his crew had left lying around, scattering the scrap metal across the floor.

“Just calm down, boy, I’m coming. Stay where ya are and don’t let those idiots know that boy is out.”

\--- 

Peter stepped from the cell, looking down one dark hall to his right and one with a flickering light to his left.

“Kraglin?” he said tensely gripping the cell door with one hand looking from one direction to the next.

He remembered captain jackass disappearing down the left hallway not too long ago and wondered if Kraglin had gone that way too. The smart thing to do would be to stay where he was to not get attention from the crew that might want to do him harm. He shuddered ghosting his fingers over one of the bruises they had left for him a few nights ago but Peter had never been one to listen to reason.

He was dizzy and felt empty but that didn’t stop his curiosity. He wouldn’t go far, just down the hall, just far enough to see what a space ship looked like on the inside. He just wanted to go far enough to know how accurate star trek was. Settle a bet he once made with his mom while they curled close to each other in front of the TV. Was Star Trek more factual or was Star Wars?

He felt that pit in his stomach grow realizing he wouldn’t win anything. Mom was dead or at the very least dying, on death's door step still even if she came out of that scare. It wasn’t like he could get candy for diner if he was right or nothing but vegetables for a week if she was right. Anything said on Earth didn’t matter. Earth didn’t matter, his old life didn’t matter but maybe this could matter.

Maybe his new purpose could be becoming a space pirate and if that didn’t work out, maybe he could steal his own space ship and see the galaxy for what it was with his own eyes.

Maybe return to Earth briefly to make everyone who had ever called mom crazy for believing in life outside of Earth put their money where their mouth was.

He didn’t really feel like going further now, he just wanted to go and lie down and wait for Kraglin to come back after the thoughts of his mom and what he would never have again came back to the front of his mind.

He rested his head against one of the steal walls and took a deep breath, he just wanted to go lie down again, he just felt sick again.

He grit his teeth and let the wave of emotions clash against him, this was all too much, too fast. Finding out his mom was sick. Being sold to bad men and lied to by a selfish older man. Mom dying after putting a stop to that and leaving him alone, truly alone for the first time in his life. Being abducted by aliens was sadly the least confusing, scary and painful thing to happen to him. He didn’t understand any of this and just wanted to never think about any of this again.

His heart was pounding but his breathing didn’t reflect it. He shut his eyes trying to get his body to move, go back to his space and wait for captain jerk ass or Kraglin to come back. 

Riding through his emotional anguish, he didn’t hear the foot steps behind him but he did feel the hand that landed hard down on his shoulder taking his breath away.

“What the hell is cargo doing out of ‘is cage?”

“Cap’n is gonna be pissed if he finds him out, best put him back before he notices.”

The voices became nothing more than static to Peter as his body began to quiver and something within him just cracked as he was shoved against the wall and the larger man slammed against him, yelling in annoyance at someone else. Peter was no longer on the Eclector, to him it felt like he was waking up again in that nasty hotel room too scared to even beg, shaking as he curled on the bed and felt the man beside him curl around him.

He began screaming and trying to shove the body against him away and to his surprise they did let him go allowing him to fall backwards on the ground.

There was more yelling, maybe fighting over who would have him next, that had happened once. He backed against someone’s leg and heard his name rise above his panic.

Another hand gently touched his shoulder and without even thinking about it, he bit down hard into the hand. No, he couldn’t go through that again. He began to cry, he hoped mom could forgive him for giving up on a chance to get money to make sure she lived but he couldn’t do it.

Not again.

\---

Yondu grit his teeth and tried not to strike the kid. Damn mite had quite the grip, Yondu would congratulate him if he wasn’t using those teeth on him. 

“Peter,” he said sternly but his voice only made the kid bite down harder and struggle more when that didn’t break Yondu’s firm grip on his arm.

“Stop. Calm down, ain’t no one gonna hurt you,” yet he thought to himself cringing at the kid’s teeth still in his hand. 

It wasn’t helping a nosy bunch of slack jawed crew member were gathering around, their amused stares making Yondu grind his teeth more. He wouldn’t hurt this little boy, not a hair on his head would be touched by him or anyone else but he might be missing a chunk of his crew before this ordeal was over.

Yondu tried his best to keep his mind off their loud whispers and gossip of what he was gonna do to cargo and bets on if he would actually kill a child who didn’t even know where he was at the moment.

He was stuck at the cross roads: being gentle and helping Peter come back to reality easier and faster or being hard and proving to his crew he took no one’s shit and keeping them thinking his heart was black. Whose fear did he want, theirs or Peter’s.

He tuned them out best he could and pulled Peter tight against his chest and gently as he could yanked his hand from Peter’s mouth and yanked the boy off the ground with him before he could decide to bite him again, pinning his head against his shoulder. If the brat wanted to bite his jacket, let him, it was too thick to draw anymore blood from Yondu and who knows maybe biting it would help him calm down.

He was nothing but a feral animal in his arms right now, sobbing and shouting and fighting tooth and nail. Too small and weak to do damage, those teeth were what Yondu had to worry about and they were safely pressed against his jacket the boy was now sobbing into.

Yondu glared his crew down who instantly began to tense under his gaze and the way he just ignored the panicking child in his arms.

Yondu had wanted the boy to show some life and fight back but getting this was worse than his silence had ever been.

\----

Kraglin shoved past the gathering crowd to get to the captain’s side. There in his arms was the boy he had accidentally let lose onto a ship of dangerous criminals without any supervision. Guilt building at those pained sounds he was making and the way the captain had to hold him to keep him from hurting himself.

“Get out of here,” the captain ordered the crowd holding Peter tighter to keep him from fighting him anymore, shoving his head firmly against his shoulder to keep those teeth out of his arm. Kraglin hissed softly seeing the blood rolling from the captain’s fingers, Peter’s teeth must have been sharp to leave a mark that deep.

“Kraglin,” his heart lurched at his name, he stopped instantly not going with the rest of the men leaving.

“Follow me.”

He did as he was told knowing he made this situation to begin with and needed to own up to it and help clean up his own mess.


	10. Gossip

The mess hall was alive with chatter tonight making Horuz grunt in annoyance dropping himself next to Tulk in their usual corner away from the common idiots.

Horuz for the most part was ignoring the clatter, even the bitching and moaning his friend was doing across from him.

“What is this ship becoming? An orphanage for unwanted bastard children?! Hell, neither of the little snots are even Yondu’s bastards so lord only knows why he wants them!”

Horuz had been around long enough to know the answer to his friend’s question, he didn’t like the answer and felt it was Yondu trying to hold onto something that was long gone but he knew it. Stakar had taken in Yondu himself at Kraglin’s age and maybe Yondu was trying to prove to his former mentor he wasn’t what he thought he was by taking in a boy like he had done all those years ago. Why he was so adamant on keeping cargo was up for debate though. Who knows what was going through his head with that, maybe it was also part of his plan to get back on Stakar’s good side. Waste of time in Horuz’s opinion but he didn’t voice those thoughts not liking the idea of his words getting mixed up and warped by the nosy morons around him before they fell in Yondu’s ears. He wasn’t ending with an arrow in his throat, captain had been right trigger happy in the five years he had been banished and if he even thought you were gonna pull a mutiny, that arrow was going through your head.

“Maybe he’s just sick of the vagabonds we have to settle with and wants to have some useful bastards he can groom personally,” Horuz grunted, he didn’t completely agree with his own words and wanted rid of the little shits as much as Tulk but he would rather not get on Yondu’s bad side once more.

He wanted to play daddy to some bastard children, let him. As long as he didn’t have to deal with the brats more then he had to, he was fine. He drank straight from the bottle he had stolen from the kitchens and Tulk scowled at him snatching it back, whipping the top off with a napkin.

“Don’t be gross, Horuz,” he grumbled scrubbing it a few seconds before pausing, eying it and became satisfied enough to pour himself another shot.

“Stop yer bitchin’,” he grumbled eying the drunks fighting not far from them, “I ain’t diseased, I stole it, so I can drink it how I like.”

“I ain’t takin’ no chances,” Tulk hissed back, “Its almost a death sentence to go down to the medical ward anymore.”

“And that’s why Yondu is lookin’ for young blood now,” Horuz said frowning watching the second mate stagger towards them, wringing his hands and nervously looking at him almost afraid to approach, “Don’t make much of a difference, the younger the stupider to me but what do I know? Just a humble mechanic.”

“Maybe if’n he hadn’t pissed off Stakar, maybe we could find crew that were competent and willing to join us,” Tulk grunted back pouring himself another shot.

Horuz had to agree with that but held his tongue, he was already on Yondu’s bad side, he didn’t want to give the man reason to kill him with first mate lurking around them like he was.

“What you want, boy?” he spat making the boy jump from his skin. He might give cabin boy shit but he wasn’t nearly as pathetic and jumpy as first mate was. Boy was ex nova corp and one hell of a shot but he was kicked out of there for a reason. He was worthless at damn near everything else. Besides, everyone knew his job was cursed, he’d been dead in a month and Horuz expected to get quite the winning if he was. 

“Horuz,” he began before pausing biting his lip at the glare he was given by both Horuz and Tulk.

“Sit down, take a drink and spit it out boy!”

First mate sat hesitantly next to Horuz and Tulk offered him a glass that he drank with one gulp.

“Captain just spat I was in charge before disappearing in his room with cargo kicking and screaming and cabin boy at his heels.”

Horuz lifted his eye brow to this news, it wasn’t something he knew about since he had been in the kitchens not long ago stealing alcohol for him and Tulk who came to him bitching about cabin boy getting special treatment.

“Why ya tellin’ me this?”

His begging eyes told him what he wanted, he wanted him to tell him what to do. Horuz nearly laughed at that, no damn way was he being honorary first mate, hell no.

“Listen, Sal---“

“That’s not my name, that was the former first mate.”

Tulk let out a ravenous laugh at that and spit his alcohol right in first mate’s face as he began to talk.

“He was the one we iced for mutiny weren’t he?!”

“No, that was the one before that,” Horuz said scratching his beard as he began thinking out loud, “Last one was the bitch who fergot to take the safety off his blaster and shot hisself and bled out.”

“We go through so many, its hard to keep track,” Tulk shrugged while first mate just stared at them with mute terror. He knew he was on borrowed times, like the rest of them knew it. The original first mate cursed the job after Yondu himself killed him in blind furry after he told Stakar what he was up to with Ego or that’s what most like Horuz liked to believe. 

“Is cargo captain’s bastard child?” both Tulk and Horuz were spitting their drinks up at that one letting out loud, thundering laughs making first mate turn a deep shade of red sinking down into his seat.

“He look blue ta you?!”

“Ya know cap’n don’t fuck anything that ain’t mechanical! Like hell he would end up with a bastard Terran brat!!”

“Why ya asking such stupid questions boy?” Horuz gasped out trying to catch his breath taking another shot.

“Well, cap’n ain’t ever cared about cargo this much before and he said this one weren’t for Ego and his mama hired him and wants him to personally take care of cargo like his own or somethin’.”

Tulk gave a look at towards Horuz at this news knowing this was bull shit the captain was spreading. Horuz nodded to his friend who rolled his eyes and broke his own rule began drinking from the bottle itself.

If Yondu didn’t want them knowing about Ego, he must be keeping how much money that boy was really worth to himself too. No matter how much that was, they would keep their mouths shut keeping their captain’s secret.

Tulk and Horuz were the biggest assholes on this ship but don’t let anyone tell you they weren’t loyal. They would keep this to themselves and make sure first mate did too before he was axed in a month or two anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on a really long "The Past" chapter right now and then hope to get back to more Yondad and his sons but I just wanted to do some world building first.


	11. The Past (Part Three)

“Peter…”

Peter groaned but buried his head deeper into his pillow, he didn’t want to get up yet. It felt too early.

“Wake up, my little star lord,” his mom persisted brushing back his hair and laying a kiss on his temple making him crack his eyes open.

“Ma…” he whispered grasping her hand tightly so she couldn’t leave him, “You would never ever lie to me right?” 

She didn’t respond to that, just kept running her fingers through his hair.

“Don’t grow up Peter,” she whispered avoiding the conversation entirely, “Don’t be forced to make tough decisions, just keep living as Star Lord up in the stars with no responsibility and total freedom.”

She took a deep breath as his glare stared her down before he six-year-old could go into a meltdown, she began to explain herself the best she could.

“I’m not gonna be ok, baby,” she whispered pulling him into her lap, “I wanted to tell you if I could get some good news but its not happening. I’m so sorry, Peter. I’m gonna try to hang around as long as I can but oh baby…” 

Mom was crying. Mom never cried.

Peter would later regret his next action, but he shoved his mom hard and ran away from her as called after him in worry. He just ran and kept going. Down the stairs, waking Johnny who was passed out on the couch as he slammed the back-door open and crawling into the dog house that had been here when they moved in (mainly home to racoons now).

The King and Queen as he and his mother had dubbed the rodents, were sitting in there as usual not paying Peter much mind. 

He sat in silence watching the raccoons groom each other and wondered how long he had till everything he knew was gonna be ripped from him. Grandpa couldn’t take him if something happened to ma, he was always gone. If he was lucky his uncle would come back but he abandoned the family after grandma’s death swearing to never come back again. He left without a good bye and Peter began to fear that would be the pattern everyone he loved would make.

“Peter?”

He heard his mom’s call but chose to ignore it. He wrapped his arms tighter around his legs and buried his head into them. He didn’t want to hide and ignore mom, he loved mom but he couldn’t handle this right now. He let out a loud sob and the raccoons began hissing at him annoyed he invaded their home to be annoying.

They fled before they could touch the child when Meredith smacked king with the broom like she always did when they got ornery with her cat or son (Peter had quite the scar on his back from the time he pushed king to his limit petting him when he didn’t want to be touched).

“Peter, baby, please talk to me.”

“No,” Peter hissed through his tears whipping snot onto his sleeve (an action that surprisingly didn’t get him scolded like it usually did), “Yer just gonna lie!!”

“Baby, I ain’t gonna lie to ya no more, let’s just talk this out, ok?”

“I won’t come out unless you promise to never lie to me again! Friends don’t lie to each other!”

Meredith let out a loud annoyed sigh, Peter wondered if at times like this she regretted having him at all. He sank more into himself letting the guilt sneak its claws into him, he never wanted to come out. He could just hide here, maybe forever or at least until the problem went away.

His mother though was impatient and stubborn as him and made the decision for him, wrapping her arms around his middle and pulling him out to her. She pulled him once more into her lap and kissed him on the cheek.

“I won’t lie no more,” she whispered into his ear kissing him again and again until he finally cracked a smile snuggling into his mother.

“You and me are best friends for now until the end of eternity and friends don’t lie to each other,” she said firmly, “It was wrong of me to do that. What ever can I do to repay you for the worry I caused ya?”

Peter didn’t answer that, he would usually jump at the chance to get what he wanted but this time he just couldn’t. He didn’t want anything, he just wanted everything to not be true.

“Don’t ever leave me,” he whispered letting out another sob, “Don’t leave me alone!”

Meredith sighed and said nothing, she promised to not lie and to keep telling the truth would mean telling her six-year-old child she was dying and he would be without her before he entered high school, most likely sooner. 

\----

Over the next few days Peter fell into an emotional limbo, his body on auto pilot. Meredith had to pull him from school because of his health. He picked at his favorite foods, stared blankly out his window in his room most of the day and didn’t want to be anywhere near his mother. Try as she might he didn’t want to watch their favorite shows together, he didn’t want to go get ice cream, he wouldn’t eat his favorite fast food she brought home and he reacted with almost anger at most physical contact.

Meredith talked this over with her dad over the phone most nights and he thought Peter needed to see a councilor because he was not handling this news well. Meredith though, didn't like the idea of a stranger possibly making her son worse. She just needed him to open up to her.

Johnny was supportive of the idea but also suggested his girlfriend bribe the kid with gifts to get him to open up more about his issues.

Meredith thought that was a very good suggestion and knew just the thing to make her son feel better. She left work early that day and went immediately to the electronic store across the street to get what she would need to make her Star Lord smile again.

The next day, she woke her son early to a large pancake breakfast. Peter as he had been doing the last few days, merely picked it apart while he sat at the table, just looking miserable. She glared at her boyfriend as he ate with gusto beside her son, talking with his mouthful about a show he was running for his band, bits of egg flying from his lips.

Meredith didn’t voice her annoyance not wanting to upset Peter more and instead offered him to eat off her own fork and smiled when he accepted the bite in his face. She took a bite and then offered another from her plate to Peter, like she had done when he was a baby and he didn’t fight her on it making her smile broaden more. 

“Peter, sweet pea, I’m not going to work today and just you and me are gonna spend some time together.”

“Fine,” was Peter’s response too lifeless to be counted as an attitude. She may not live to see him hit puberty but this should make up for it she thought to herself with a sigh.

She smiled at him and was relieved to see he didn’t pull away when she kissed him on the cheek.

\----

Gradually as the day wore on, Meredith felt she was finally breaking through her son’s walls. It started with the petting zoo at the farm a few miles away, she knew he wouldn’t be able to refuse to pet anything furry and cute. Being surrounded by goats, each nibbling at him and trying to get a bite of the popcorn he was taunting them with. Peter was a gentle soul, just as his father had been she thought with pride watching him kiss a goat on the lips.

Jason (the Earth name her space man chose for himself), always had a knack with animals as well, he was fascinated by the chickens Meredith had owned at the time, always picking them up and holding them. He had been just as childlike and curious as Peter was now, following a row of chicks back into the hen house and giggling wildly as the rooster chased him off. 

Meredith snatched her giggling son before the rooster could get at him, that one had always been foul tempered and sent Peter twice to the emergency room for stitches, not that her son ever learned to stay away from him. She felt a wave of pride as he looked up to her smiling widely and even kissed her on the cheek in thanks for pulling him out of a dangerous situation.

They sat together on a picnic blanket under their favorite willow tree by the creek just outside the farm. Peter began talking a mile a minute about how he wanted them to move to a farm someday, just the two of them and Meredith was beginning to lose her confidence. She didn’t want to lie to him anymore knowing it was hurting him like this but she couldn’t let him live in denial either that she would always be with him. She had maybe a year, possibly two left in her and before long she would be too weak to even leave the hospital at all but she would suffer through the chemo just to give this little boy as much time with her as she could.

She had been sick for years, the tumor slowly growing, unnoticed by anyone until the doctors found it a few months ago when she came in to treat her frequent migraines. Her time on this world was running low and the only thing she cared about now was making sure this little boy would make it through her death.

“Ma, Ma,” Peter said again shaking her shoulder as she just stared off letting her worrying thoughts consume her, “Are you listening?”

“Peter, sweet pea,” she whispered running her fingers through his hair, “My precious Star Lord. You know I love you, don’t you?”

“Duh, yer my mom,” he said beginning to look scared again pulling his knees to his chest and knocking her hand away before wrapping his arm around his knees.

“That’s right, all moms love their babies,” she said giving him a painted-on smile, “And even when I’m gone, I won’t ever stop loving you. I’ll be up in the stars, waiting for you and yer daddy to come back to me once ya both get done having lots of adventures and saving the galaxy side by side.”

“I – I don’t want to see him!” Peter wailed crying again, “I want you to stay with me! I want us to be together forever and you and me to have adventures and see the stars together!!”

“Oooh child,” she sang softly collecting her sobbing child into her arms and rocking him gently, “Things are gonna get easier. Ooooh child, things are gonna get brighter. Someday, someday, we’ll walk together in a beautiful sun, someday, things will get brighter.”

The tears didn’t stop but those pained screams stopped as he just listened to her and allowed her to clean his face gently with a tissue.

“Peter, baby,” she whispered when he began to calm down, “I know it’s not your birthday yet but I got you something.”

She reached into her bag, smiling feeling Peter’s curious eyes on her while she dug out a beautifully wrapped golden box and a smaller box wrapped in shiny red paper.

Peter reached over and just held the presents, turning them over in his hands. Hesitantly, he unwrapped the bigger box first and instantly a smile spread across his face. It was a Walkman! He had been begging for one ever since Billy down the road had got one for his birthday and never let him play his cassettes on it on the bus ride to school. This one was much nicer then Billy’s too! It was blue, a much better and prettier color then the bright orange one he carried around. 

He wrapped his arms tight around his mom, a million thank yous launching into her ear as he clung tighter bringing a genuine smile to his mother’s face.

“Don’t forget the other present baby,” she whispered encouragingly, lightly pulling his attention to the other box that had fallen to the ground.

Peter clung tightly to his Walkman as he curiously picked the other box and ripped the paper off with excitement. He frowned at this gift, turning his eyes up to his mother.

“It’s a blank tape.”

Meredith smiled kissing him on the cheek.

“Its blank right now but we are going to make the best, most awesome mix tape this world has ever known with it.”

Peter’s smile could out shine the sun as his mind was already in the middle of finding the perfect songs to go on this tape.


	12. The Past (Part Four)

Three weeks later, things had fallen into a routine of sorts. Mom dropped him off at school before going to work and Johnny picked him up. Somedays Johnny would make him wait in the car while he went to see his friends before they picked up dinner and went home, arriving at just the same time as mom.

Peter sat in the parking one day like this, flipping through the radio wondering which song he wanted to put on his and mom’s mix tape. It had to be perfect and they both chose the songs very carefully (as carefully and thoughtfully as a six-year-old was capable of).

He was singing along to the Jackson Five’s 'I want you back' when he saw Johnny finally exiting the bar he had been in for over an hour now. He had that look on his face he only wore when he was gonna get in trouble, like a few weeks ago when he stained the carpet a deep red and mom couldn’t get it up.

There was a man much larger then him standing beside him, smoking a cigarette and looking at him from the steps of the bar. Peter ducked down, not liking those stares, like the stranger was sizing him up as he sat in the front seat.

Johnny slid in a few minutes later and smiled at him.

“Burgers or Pizza, bud?”

Peter didn’t answer, something wasn't sitting right with him looking out the window and still seeing the man on the steps of the bar watching them leave. Their eyes met as they pulled past him and he smiled making Peter sink down in his seat.

“I just wanna go home.”

“Frozen Pizza it is,” Johnny said his smile not brightening his eyes like it should making Peter’s stomach tighten more, if he would have been smart he would have run in the door and told his mom right away Johnny had been making him wait in parking lots when he was supposed to just bring him home but he kept his silence like the little loyal idiot he was.

\---

“Ma?”

Meredith turned the volume down on the radio and turned to smile at her son sitting in the front seat of her truck with her. They were heading out to something really special, the observatory was re-opening its star show and they were gonna see it with some of his mom’s good friends who were nice enough to get them tickets for the event. Johnny wanted to come but he had to prep for his show on Saturday. Mom was mad at him when he turned down the tickets, knowing how much it meant to her and tonight Peter wasn’t going to bring Johnny's friend up not wanting to ruin the night for his mom.

“What’s up, sugar bean?”

“Did you and Dad really meet here?’’ he asked innocently craning his head towards the hill they were about to turn onto.

“We sure did,” she said with a bright smile glancing over at the hill with dreamy eyes, “I was here alone during one of the off seasons, back then the funding was so bad for the place it was only open during the summer. I was tryin’ to break in.”

“Did ya get in?”

“Nah,” she chuckled ruffling his hair, “And don’t ya ever give yer mama heart failure being like I was, ya hear?”

“Won’t be too bad cause you’ll be with me when we break in,” Meredith let out a barking laugh at the innocent response.

“Ya ain’t breakin’ in nowhere, Peter Jason Quill,” she said sternly wagging her finger playfully in his direction, “Ya ain’t gonna squander yer future like I did. You promise me now that if you ever and I mean ever get an internship with Stark Enterprise, you’ll take it and not waste yer time breaking into observatories lookin’ for space men.”

“If'n ya do find one, you take yer space man and yer Stark Internship because yer too good to not have everything life offers.” 

Peter made a face at that, “Stark is a jerk. Didn’t like the way he couldn’t even spell my name right. It’s PETER, not PAUL.”

“That he is but that ain’t the point,” she chuckled remembering the Stark Expo they had gone to a few months ago and when Meredith had Howard Stark sign Peter’s ticket to have something that would be of value when he got up older, he completely forgot her son’s name moments after she gave it to him.

“What I’m sayin’ is ya can get what ya want and what you need at the same time, they don’t have to be two separate deals. Right now I should be takin’ care of my beautiful only son in a mansion, with something real to give ya. Don’t squander yer chances baby.”

Maybe if she was a success she could have gotten him to stay, her space man, the man of her dreams. Peter could have a daddy right now, maybe if she had just taken the call to accept the summer job instead of just waiting around for him to come back.

“I don’t like Stark and I don’t want a Space Man,” Peter said making her laugh seeing he had missed the point, “I want to be a Space Man.”

“Don’t ever change, Petey,” she chuckled kissing him firmly on the forehead at a stop sign making him cringe but he didn’t pull away. 

“Ma, you will be up in the stars with me won’t ya? I can’t save the galaxy without ya.”

She didn’t answer that, hating hurting him like this. If she could, she would give him everything. If only, if only she hadn’t squandered her own future all those years ago maybe she would have the money to make it a little longer and give something real to Peter to help him make it to the stars when he got up older.

“Remember when we saw Star Wars and Obi Wan was able to talk to Luke even after Darth Vader struck him down?”

“Yeah….”

“Well, you just remember that because if you ever need me, I will be right there with ya up in the stars or here on Earth helping you get through yer Stark Internship.” 

Peter became quiet again, turning the radio up again himself. He didn’t like talking about this and Meredith knew things weren’t gonna stay normal for him much longer. Soon he too would be in and out of hospitals with her. It wouldn’t just be doctor appointments discussing the odds, it would be full on Chemo and surgeries that might kill her right away before the year was even done. 

She just wanted as many good memories for this little boy to look back on now. His birthday was coming up soon, maybe she could somehow get enough money together for them to go down to a real beach. Not just the swampy lakes she took him too and he just thought was a beach. Money was so tight, it was hard, so hard working and supporting her son and boyfriend and dealing with the medical bills. 

She turned her head back to the road and let out a heavy sigh, none of this was fair. Why did this have to happen now? Couldn’t the tumor have waited until this boy was going through college at least? Let her make sure he would really be ok without her and not leave this uncertain fear in her that something bad would happen to her only child, the light of her life, the moment she wasn’t there to protect him. She only prayed, really prayed to a god she hadn’t really thought of in years, that her space man would come back for their child and maybe her before it was too late.

“Ma,” Peter yelled out excited pressing his face against the glass before turning towards her and smacking her shoulder hard to get her attention making her smile that his mood was getting better already.

“Look! Look Ma! They have a space ship!”

She smiled broadly, knowing he would have liked it. She had helped craft the large model next to the observatory, an exact replica of the space ship her space man, Jason, had landed in that same spot all those years ago. She sent the blue prints to her friend who was the current owner of the place and she thought it was a great idea to help get more business.

It was cheap, but well crafted. That sleek white just as she remembered it. If she could do nothing else with her engineering skills, might as well make a shrine for the man she loved.

The current owner and Meredith’s best friend was standing by the architecture admiring it with a smile that she instantly turned to her friend as they pulled up by it.

“Not too bad, is it Mer?” the woman chuckled leaning lazily against the side of the vehicle kissing Peter when he stuck his head out to get a better look.

Peter made a face and stuck his tongue out in disgust only making his ‘aunty’ laugh harder. 

“Well worth the money, Mel,” Meredith responded looking at it more closely, tears brimming in her eyes, “You really followed my design to a T. This is just too much, seeing it again like he might walk right out of it and really meet his son.” 

“Peter, that’s yer mama’s space man’s space ship,” Mel chuckled, tongue twisting a little at the words making Peter laugh. 

Something about the craft made him uncomfortable now connecting it to his father. It was too white and too pristine, like a submarine made of pearl. It didn’t match the description of someone who sought adventures but of someone who felt they were superior to everyone around them. His mom’s heart was on her sleeve and she was over the moon in pure ecstasy seeing it, so Peter didn’t voice his opinions. Maybe it looked less show offy in person. Peter didn’t really know what to make of his dad or what he was. His mom didn’t lie, so if she said he was from the stars he believed it but why he didn’t return was a mystery to Peter. His mom was the best person in the galaxy, why someone would just leave her with nothing but a memory was hard for him to except. Mom didn’t even have pictures, always describing him as like Russel Crowe but way better. Mom didn’t even talk about Johnny the way she talked about her space man, leading to many fights between them Peter heard from his bedroom.

Once the car was parked and they met up with Mel once more to watch the sun set, truly a spectacular sight on top the hill they were on. They sat next to the space craft and mom just kept talking fondly about her space man. Peter couldn’t say why but this made him very uncomfortable the more mom talked about how amazing he was and beside him, Mel didn’t look any happier. They had both heard these stories many times before about this man who captured Meredith Quill’s heart but he never returned to take them both into the stars like he promised he would do. Peter felt anger rising and he couldn’t stop it as she brought up again the story of his birth. If he was there, why wasn’t he here now? Why wasn’t he here and making sure mom pulled through? 

Peter never liked the topic of mom’s space man, he never felt right and he didn’t like the sad look mom had remising about him.

Peter became quiet while mom told them once more the night she met her space man.

“While trying to pick the lock of the observatory, I saw a bright light and panicked thinking it was the sheriff. I was in for it this time if he caught me breaking in here again but I had to be here tonight, I kept telling myself. It was a lunar eclipse and I had to see with the telescope. It was a once in a life time opportunity and if anything extraterrestrial was gonna happen, it would that night.”

“Only yer mom thinks this shit,” Mel snorted with a shake of her head watching the sun slowing sinking down, the other patrons would be here soon for the night show she had already prepped and prepared.

“The rest of us just wanted to do normal shit like drinking or having pre marital sex but noooo, yer mama had to be a rebel among rebels who breaks in places to learn shit.”

“I loved the thrill of breaking into a place without gettin’ caught,” his mother laughed before instantly becoming serious turning her wagging finger Peter’s way, “Ya are one hundred percent not allowed to be like yer mama. Ya are gonna be better.”

“And go to that Stark Internship,” Peter grumbled crossing his arms. 

“That’s right,” Meredith said chuckling pulling him close and kissing him on the cheek, “Ya are gonna be so much better. Too good for this town and this planet.”

“Makin’ ya was the only thing I ever did right, Peter and I want ya to be so much more. My little star lord, first Earthling to save the galaxy.”

Peter didn’t respond just staring up at the light bouncing from the pretentiously white space craft, too young to really understand what his mom was telling him and only wanting her to stay with him forever. His mom not being taken from him by anyone. Not sickness and not space men tearing them apart. 

“Well here comes the crowd,” Mel grumbled seeing the next bout of early birds pulling up, “Best start getting ready for the show. Ya want a picture in front of this thing before the show, Mer?”

His mother’s smile was his favorite feature, it filled him with a warmth nothing else could provide but knowing it was for a father he probably would never know made him feel uneasy. He let those thoughts slide deep down inside him for now and smiled as bright as her as Mel took their picture.

\---

Much later, after the show was over, Peter was babbling about the stars to his mom who was humming in agreement beside him, smiling brightly.

They were parked just outside mom’s favorite forest. It was secluded, just off the free way and the only thing around for miles was a sole Dairy Queen. They have been planning on expanding to this area for years but nothing had come of it yet.

“This is a good song for the tape,” mom said hearing the radio DJ announce ‘Oh Child’ would be playing next. Peter agreed nodding his head up and down and instantly yanking the tape out of the back pack he always had on him. It was his favorite back pack, the one him and mom always sewed their growing patch collection onto and always carried his favorite toys and candy in it. Sometimes mom would convince him to put his school work in as well but Peter didn’t care about his school work as much mom did.

“Ma?”

“Hmm?”

Peter didn’t finish his thought at first just watching mom record their song onto the tape, biting his lip. He didn’t know if he was allowed to ask this question, it had never been stated but it felt forbidden.

“What’s a matter, Sweet Pea?”

Mom cupped his face and he still didn’t know if he could ask it, he kept his eyes on the glowing radio, the only light in the truck. It was way past his bed time, nearing two in the morning but he didn’t feel that exhaustion until this question came to his mind.

“You can ask me anything, baby, we’re best friends and I promise I won’t lie to ya.”

“Why didn’t dad ever come back?”

Mom didn’t answer and her hands slipped from his face and he knew he had said the wrong thing. He bit his lip and stared solemnly down at his lap, grandpa was right, he needed to learn when to keep his mouth shut.

“Yer daddy loves us, Pete, please never feel like he’s not here out of cruelty. He would never harm us like that. Never.”

“He just…can’t be here, being here was killing him,” she paused cupping her son’s face again and kissing him, “Come on, let me show you something.”

Mom popped the tape out after it finished recording their song and put it back in its case before sliding it in his back pack. She placed her hand gently on his back and pushed him out the door, following after him.

Peter liked walking through the forest this time of night. There was a stillness to it that wasn’t there during the day, it felt more like he would stumble upon a fairy tale kingdom or a gateway to another dimension at this time. Maybe even find his own space man, a better space man who wouldn’t leave them...

Peter’s head was up, watching a trail of fire flies wishing he had a jar on him to catch them when mom stopped him gently, pulling him onto the ground with her and onto her lap.

“See that?” she whispered into his ear, her breath tickled against his ear making him squirm and giggle.

“The fire flies?” he asked head still up looking straight at the trail of them going off in zig zagging lines, he wanted to get up and follow that path wondering where it could lead him.

“No, silly goose,” she chuckled kissing him on the side of his head and cupping his cheeks once more and making him stare more towards the ground.

“That flower, ya see it?”

It took Peter a moment but the more he stared where his head was directed the more he made it out. It was faintly glowing blue and didn’t look like any flower Peter had ever seen, it reminded Peter of a soul the way it glowed, something not meant to be put in the ground, something that was apart of someone. Otherworldly and ominous, something about it made Peter's skin crawl.

Peter continued to stare, it almost felt like it was connected to him. He jerked a little in his mom’s arms as he felt it pulse, a small ripple that spread through it intertwining with his own heart beat. He didn’t like that thing, it glowed brighter the more he sat near it. He squirmed and let out a small cry but his mom didn’t let him go, made him sit there with that thing.

She shushed him gently running her fingers through his hair.

“Its connected to yer daddy,” she whispered gently, “It’s the sign that he will come back for us someday. Feel those pulses? That’s him reaching out to us. When I was pregnant with ya I felt them the strongest, I don’t really feel them no more but ya probably can. Yer your daddy’s son, baby, you’re connected to him. If you ever need yer daddy, just come out here and call for him. When I’m gone, that’s how you’ll contact him and he’ll always be there for you, sugar.”

Peter’s eyes scrunched closed and he squirmed more, he didn’t like how this felt. It wasn’t comforting like mama seemed to think it was.

“I want to go home, mama,” he let a tiny sob. Something about that plant didn’t feel right and he didn’t like it.

“It’s ok, baby,” she soothed kissing him again lifting him up into her arms, “Mama’s here and I guarantee daddy won’t hurt ya. It just feels a little funny at first being around his connection to us. We’ll go now, ok?”

Peter was crying all the way back to the car, mom softly humming to him and assuring him it was ok, it just tingled a little, daddy would never harm him. One day he would come back for both of them, he just needed to be patient.

“What about Johnny?” he sobbed out as his mom set him back in the truck.

“Johnny is fun and I like him,” she whispered running her fingers through her son’s hair, “But I don’t think he’ll be around forever, baby.”

She let Peter lie against her lap and cry the entire journey home, feeling guilty for making him feel this way. Johnny was never gonna be permanent and she didn’t know how she would explain that to a six-year-old who just desperately wanted a dad. He was just there to have fun with until her space man came back. She didn’t even know if it was fair to say that now that he was being so great and helping her care for her son in this rough time.

Jason would come back for her son though, he had to. Only he was really capable of giving Peter everything he deserved, no offense to Johnny but he would never be able to give him the galaxy like Jason could.


	13. The Past (Part Five)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Heavily implied child abuse and sexual assault. Be safe guys, just skip to the next chapter (I will have up tomorrow) if this isn't for you.

Peter’s seventh birthday was spent in the hospital, waiting for his mom to get out of surgery. It wasn’t scheduled until next month, mom promising to not let it get in the way of his birthday but sometimes things didn’t work out.

He watched grandpa pace, back and forth, back and forth, mumbling to himself as he did so. Johnny sat next to him, letting him use his lap as a pillow as he just laid there, head sets on listening to hooked on a feeling for the third time. Johnny ran his hands through his hair and turned up the volume on his Walkman to drown out the hospital noises, flipping the tape over or rewinding it for him when needed.

They waited and waited for news if his mom would be OK. Would she come out of this? Peter began to cry again, he didn’t like this. Waiting was more painful than watching her fall and convulse on the floor. 

He kept his eyes firmly closed not wanting to watch Grandpa argue with the nurses anymore. His music tuned out their voices but just by their hand gestures and the way grandpa was nearly in tears it was clear this wasn’t good. It wasn’t gonna be ok.

He pushed that thought into the far corner of his mind and focused on David Bowie, imaging a life among the stars with mom. Everything was OK and nothing bad could happen.

\---

Mom had to stay in the hospital for another week. Grandpa had already left much to Peter’s disappointment. He always left when Mom needed him. Peter didn’t have to go to school for a few more days and he had been for the most part using his time to stare out the window and listen to his Walkman.

Johnny wouldn’t let him see mom in the hospital right away, he didn’t see her until she was released and already trying to act like everything was alright even if the bags under her eyes told a different story.

Peter stayed right next to his mother after she got out of the hospital, never straying away from her for long. He squeezed between her and Johnny every night, making Johnny grumble and complain each morning about needing a bigger bed. Mom didn’t mind one bit to have her star lord next to her each morning and becoming more annoyed with her boyfriend complaining about her son’s need to be constantly up her ass (as he put it) she banned him to go sleep elsewhere.

Peter was too little to make his mom breakfast in bed but he figured just hauling the box of cereal and milk upstairs every morning was good enough. 

He liked thinking of those days. He liked feeling like he could make a difference and that he could help his mom. Help bring a smile to her face, help take care of her even if he wasn’t really doing anything at all. 

When Johnny pulled him aside one morning during his morning ritual of making him and mom an unhealthy breakfast and told him there was a way he could actually help, he couldn’t find a way to refuse the man.

\---

Peter sat quietly in the front seat, something very unusual of him but Johnny was too fidgety himself to be concerned.

“You’ll like my friend, Petey,” he began again repeating the same sentence he had started over and over, “He loves kids. Especially boys like you.”

Peter was scared, no that was an understatement. His palms were sweating making his Walkman slide from his tight grip at each bump in the road Johnny carelessly hit. He couldn’t sit still, twitching, rocking his thighs back and forth in an effort to get comfortable and constantly shifting his head from the road to the window to his side.

“Can we really go campin' like we told ma after we meet yer friend?” he stammered out, each word tripping over the other on the way out of his mouth making his speech a jumbled mess that Johnny somehow managed to understand.

“Maybe buddy, if yer feelin’ alright after we see him. Loves kids but I hear he’s a little rough at times, like when we play wrestling.”

“I don’t wanna do that with someone I don’t know…” Peter whispered biting his lower lip and letting out a heavy breath to keep back the sob.

“It won’t be bad, buddy, just think of mama while yer doing it. Mama sick and dying, give mama a few more years.”

Peter didn’t say anymore just looked out the window, popping each finger one by one, mom didn’t look very good when they left. She was real sick and could barely get up, nothing she said made any sense. He supposed meeting and playing with Johnny’s friend for a little while couldn’t be worse then what she was going through. He just wanted to help in any way he could to make her better again.

He became still as they approached their destination, it was a hotel, a really old worn down one by the look of it. He remembered two years ago they went on the road with grandpa, him and mom argued about staying at a hotel like this one. Mom was tired and just wanted a shower, just wanted to give Peter a shower and just wanted them both to be able to watch Knight Rider. Grandpa scowled towards her and told her firmly no, they could wait till they got to Georgia in a few hours. Hotels like that were bad places. Back then Peter began to cry at being stuck in the truck one more night and began yelling he never wanted to go with Grandpa again while mom picked him up agreeing throwing glares her father’s way. Now, Peter just wished Johnny would have done what Grandpa did and kept driving.

He didn’t though, he didn’t care enough about Peter’s safety to do that and just go camping with him. Instead he pulled over and a painted smile that didn’t meet his eyes, staring at Peter.

“Some rules before we go in buddy.”

Peter drug his teeth across his lips, he didn’t like that. Why would there be rules to just visiting someone? He couldn’t find the words to question any of this, so he said nothing. He just wanted to get this over with and maybe actually go camping. The supplies were in the back, they could just go. Just him and Johnny, like the other boys did with their dads.

“Don’t fight back, let him do what he wants. Don’t question anything. Just let him do what he wants and it will be done quicker. Just think of how you are giving mama a few more years and you’ll get through this fine.”

“I---“ Peter began but Johnny gently put his hand over his mouth, it was a familiar gesture, it was their way of jokingly saying the other was talking too much but it felt wrong. Everything felt wrong.

“Don’t make it harder, pal, just accept this. Everything has a price little dude and saving mama has a hefty one.”

Peter wanted to scream at him at that moment but no words could form and he couldn’t drag any out of his brain that would make sense in this situation. He just sat there, didn’t move when Johnny asked him to get out with him and ended up having to be carried to his fate.

Carried up a rickety stair case to the second story, past a row of smoking older women who eyed him with a mixture of pity and boredom two emotions Peter never thought would mix together so well. Peter silent the whole way but his mind was screaming, he didn’t want this, he didn’t understand what price Johnny was talking about. He kept his silence thinking how mom kept hers, head held high as she took the drugs that were both saving and destroying her. Peter was Meredith Quill’s son, if she could take anything to give him more time with her, he could take anything to give her more time with him.

Much later, Peter would have a hard time telling you exactly what happened in that room. It began with Johnny having to hold him up as a man who Peter would get to know well over the next few months thoroughly inspected him. Peter didn’t fight until he asked his cloths be removed.

From there it was a massive blur of pain and humiliation that came in and out of his mind as nothing more then flickers.

The hands on him.

The signature bite mark on his thigh he would grow accustomed to.

The silence, no questions directed at him, no words, the only bits of conversation weren’t for him. There was a price tag on him only the man could see as he inspected his bare body Johnny held down, he was worth a thousand for the night, maybe more if his friends wanted to see him next time, maybe less after the night if only him. Johnny’s nervous laugh as he told Peter to have fun as slipped from the room while Peter begged for him to stay.

It was a hell he would go through again and again and kept his silence with all the promises of the money going to mom.

\----

“Not so bad, eh buddy?”

Peter didn’t know if he could respond to that or if he would be able to talk again. He just continued to quiver, tears still streaming down his face, body pulsing in pain. He just wanted to go home and go to bed. Mom waking him in the morning to tell him none of this wasn’t real, that didn’t just happen and she wasn’t really sick. Everything fine as it ever was.

He was laid in the back seat, still not moving or talking and Johnny began breathing hard, peaking under Peter’s shirt. The action instantly brought Peter back, slapping his former friend’s hands away weakly.

“Nothin’ but bruises,” Johnny said almost relieved pulling something from his pocket, “You’ll be fine buddy, yer doing great. Real good, yer a damn good boy doing this for yer mama.”

He slid Peter’s head sets over his ears and pressed play on his Walkman, before slamming the back door shut. He was still rambling but Peter couldn’t make out the words, didn’t understand them even if he could hear them, he ran his shaking finger over the volume key tuning the man out.

He was doing this for mom, not him. He could take it.


	14. Candy

Kraglin shuffled his feet nervously just standing at the entrance watching the captain hold Peter down long enough to jam the needle into his neck. He had never been inside the captain’s private quarters before, no one had. It was an offense that could leave ya dead entering this room without the captain’s say so.

It was easier for Kraglin to keep his mind on the wonder of being special enough to enter this room and take in all the clutter then focus on the captain still holding Peter tight against his chest, his screams becoming low grunts as the drug began taking effect.

“Go fetch me a first aid kit from the supply closet,” the captain said with a wave of his still bleeding hand and Kraglin nodded, hurrying back out the door.

Yondu sat with Peter, running his good hand through his thick hair, fingers loosening and raking out the knots. He wouldn’t voice it out loud but he felt deeply sorry for this kid. Didn’t know him well enough to say he could really care about him on an emotional level but he felt an anger that at whatever made this kid act out like that.

Scum who hurt children, scum like his own parents, like slavers and like Ego, they deserved a painful death. They deserved twice what they put their own children through. Yondu had failed five kids so far but he wasn’t gonna fail the sixth, this one was gonna be the one who made it out OK. He didn’t care what he had to do to make that happen, make sure nothing happened to this one. This one wasn’t gonna suffer and this one wasn’t gonna die, that he swore. 

This one was gonna make it to adult hood, this one was gonna be happy and this one was gonna know he was gonna protect him no matter what. Maybe not always feel loved, might feel lonesome at times but he was gonna know he was safe.

There was a hesitant knock on his door, too soft and nervous to be a nosy busy body, it had to be Kraglin back with the supplies he asked of him.

“Kraglin, don’t bother knocking, just come in already,” he barked and the door instantly opened revealing Kraglin with his hands full with more shit then Yondu originally asked for.

“I just thought you might want some food rations and a few extra blankets,” he looked embarrassed at his thoughtfulness and Yondu shook his head, he was still a boy and kids tended to over think.

“I also got Peter’s back pack, maybe it might make him feel better.”

“Kid is drugged to hell,” Yondu chuckled kicking his feet up on his bed, the action not even making Peter flinch, “He’ll be out for a few good hours. Time enough to rest before sorting out whatever the hell just happened and make sure it don’t happen again around that bunch of idiots.”

Kraglin just nodded to that continuing to linger by the door, arm full of shit they didn’t really need, waiting for Yondu to tell him what to do. Yondu groaned at that, he felt for the kid, he really did. Over his head as always but determined to get the job done. He may not know what the hell he was doing but Yondu admired how he always put effort into everything he did, never half assing or giving up like the rest of these worthless pieces of shit.

“Bring the damn medical kit over before I stain my bed with blood,” Yondu grunted and instantly Kraglin was in action, depositing his pile of crap onto his desk and running the medical kit over to him. Yondu smirked watching him drag out a roll of bandages, the roll shaking hard in his hands, he fumbled and dropped it onto the ground. The kid looked damn ready to start crying. Yondu groaned, picking the bandages off the floor with his good hand and digging out the disinfectant to clean the blood off his hand.

“Don’t you start crying, yer too old for that,” Yondu grunted firmly scowling at the blood still rolling from his hand, damn mite had sharp teeth, he needed stitches. 

Kraglin took a deep breath and to his credit managed to suck it up despite how guilty he felt.

“Sit down,” Yondu managed to get out holding some twine between his teeth. He didn’t even flinch as he stabbed the needle into his open wound and began sewing himself back together, he had done this so many times he barely felt it but by the look on Kraglin’s face he felt every motion, face cringing and eyes averting.

He sat at the edge of the bed, eyes focusing more on his captain’s propped up feet then him cleaning his own wound.

They fell into a comforting silence for a little while, Peter’s softs grunts accompanying Kraglin’s foot tapping and Yondu’s bored whistles making his arrow lazily fly around the room illuminating the junk on his shelves a soft red.

Yondu caught his arrow and put it away after a few more minutes growing bored, he got up from where he was at and went over to Peter’s back pack. 

He frowned pulling out a first aid kit followed by a paper bag that housed a dozen or more half melting chocolate bars that astonishingly didn’t ruin any of the other contents of his bag. He licked some of brown mess off his finger and cringed at how sweet it was. No mother would allow her child to have this damn much sugar he thought pulling out more brightly wrapped treats. He smiled at Kraglin who was unwrapping one of the many pieces of Terran candy and cautiously licking one of the brightly colored round rocks on a stick.

“Kid likes stealing, that’s a good thing I suppose,” Yondu chuckled pulling out a handful of key chains with price tags still on them.

No spare sets of cloths, just a bunch of shit the kid had stolen while his mama was dying in the hospital. At the bottom of the bag were two half finished sweaters, his mama’s last work it seemed. A brightly wrapped gift was under the sweaters but it didn’t seem like the kid would be opening it soon or it would be open already. 

Nothing of value. Not even folks who collected all things Terran would want this cheap childish shit. He stared at two of the ugliest dolls he had ever seen long and hard for a second, considering putting them in his collection. Both were little half naked babies (he guessed?) with long spiky colored hair. 

Yondu made a face at Kraglin as he began eating the candy, how could he stand that shit?

“Its not too bad,” Kraglin said stuffing another chocolate bar in his mouth, “I don’t think Peter needs all of it, he stole quite a bit it looks like.”

Kid either had a sweet tooth or a bad case of kleptomania. One could be useful to Yondu and the other would just be annoying.

Kid was interesting, Yondu sure knew how to pick them. 

There was a front pouch on his bag and Yondu shrugged opening it up as well, not like he was done invading the kid’s privacy.

There were a few cards scattered around and little coins with characters on them. Kid seemed to like something called Alf since most of the cards and a few of the coins had his name on them. He stopped finding an old photograph that made him raise his eye brow.

It was the kid smiling brightly with a woman with the same burgundy blonde hair kneeling beside him kissing him on the cheek, his mama. It had to be. The woman wasn’t the curious thing about the picture it was the large white ship behind them, he knew that ship anywhere. It was Ego’s.

He looked over at the boy, sound asleep, no further signs of pain and remembered his words from a few days ago. He didn’t want to see his father, he was willing to pay good money to never see him. He stared at the fading bruise on his cheek and remembered the panic attack he had not long ago.

Ego said he was there for this one’s birth and he seemed hesitant to ever step foot on that planet again. 

He snarled letting these thoughts run through his head and saw Kraglin look at him in a mixure of confusion and slight fear. He didn’t voice these thoughts to Kraglin, not wanting to upset the boy more than he was or let him know anymore then he already did about Ego.

Were these things connected? It was possible and all the more reason to keep this kid far away from that maniac as he could.


	15. Sad Eyes

Something rippled in his mind, pulling him from his drugged stupor. It was a voice, no louder than a whisper and then another whisper rippled alongside it.

Something being dumped out and spread out across him like pebbles being carelessly tossed into the water that submerged him, the ripples were now full on splashes making him swim faster to the surface. Pain coming in waves, flaring up and falling into numbness.

“---little thief, I swear,” someone laughed above him.

“---think---miss any of it?”

“---Don’t need it anyhow.”

He tried to lift his arm but it felt glued beside him. He groaned gaining the attention of the voices.

“Peter?”

“Kid is still pretty out of it, don’t expect too much. I may have gave him a bit too much of the good stuff.”

Whatever he was given was not ‘the good stuff’. His mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton, opening his eyes gave him a bad sense of vertigo and he instantly had to slam them shut. Everything was too bright, blinding him and spinning. His limbs were completely useless, arms refusing to move to shield his eyes from that light.

He felt a large hand gently tip him onto his side as he began to vomit.

“Definitely gave him too much,” someone continued with an annoyed grunt. Peter gagged for a few more seconds, drool running down his mouth before he relaxed the hand let go of his strong grip and patted him gently on the back.

He felt Lily’s familiar fuzzy body brush against his face and he instantly pulled her close to him, even with his still pulsing head, he felt better. 

“Peter?”

He knew that voice but he couldn’t put a name to it so he just buried his head into his pillow and let himself drift back to sleep.

\---

Kraglin had taken to gently running circles into Peter’s back, it didn’t seem to help much since he was still passed out but Kraglin liked to pretend it gave him some form of comfort. The captain had grunted he was leaving and had yet to return.

His orders were simple, to the point and Kraglin took them very seriously not wanting to mess up again.

Don’t leave, keep an eye on the brat’s vitals, he may have gave him a bit too much of the good stuff and that could lead to bad side effects, and most important (to the captain at least): keep an eye out for those teeth, they will leave scars.

Other than that, everything was his choice. He was in charge of ‘the feral brat’ till he came back. He likely wouldn’t be waking soon (something that had Kraglin’s insides tying in knots), so just call Horuz if he needed anything and he would bring it to him. Kraglin didn’t want to do anything until the captain came back, whenever that may be. 

Peter would grunt sometimes, a little pained noise like a wounded animal and each time Kraglin would tense; thoughts going a mile a minute repeating over and over What do I do? What Do I do?

The silence was almost worse. He kept checking his pulse and putting his hand near his face letting those tiny breaths tickle his fingers for a few seconds before becoming satisfied the captain’s large dose of drugs hadn’t killed this child. Kraglin could live with himself doing a lot of things, he remembered watching the captain kill someone with no remorse (the guy deserved it, he was a monster) but a little kid who didn’t do anything wrong dying because he fucked up? He would never let himself live that down.

 

The waiting and uncertainty and fear he was gonna lose someone who didn’t do nothing wrong and didn’t deserve this hit a sore spot. It made him think of her. He didn’t know her name, never bothered to ask knowing she was just gonna be transferred to another home in a few months, the cute pretty ones always did, but her sad eyes haunted him. They were Peter’s eyes. They were sometimes even the captain’s eyes and somedays in front of the mirror they were his eyes.

He had taken the time to clean up the mess Peter had made when he threw up, thankfully it was all on the floor and mainly liquid so it was a quick wipe up with a towel he found in the captain's private bathroom. He had thought of going through the piles of junk the captain had scattered everywhere in the room to help him clean up a little but in the end decided it wasn't his place. He just sat there letting his thoughts pull him under. 

He bit his lip thinking of her, her lifeless body just lying in the bathroom he walked into, empty pill bottles around her with the names of the older women who often complained about not being able to take being here to each other when they thought no one else was around. He always felt shame at the memory of just turning away, her corpse would be gone in the morning. He was shaking thinking Peter would be that. Sweet, feisty, innocent Peter who didn’t do anything wrong but still got hurt, getting that bad. Letting the sadness in his eyes win and doing that away from Kraglin and around people who didn’t care and just cleaned up the mess and never mentioned him again.

He was crying. Oh lord, he was crying in the captain’s room.

He pressed his face against the child’s shoulder making him groan again and that little grunt helped him find some grounding. Peter was alive and would be up soon, he didn’t have a hand in killing a child, everything in life was good. Mostly.

He swiped his hands roughly over his face a few times, getting rid of any evidence of his loss of control.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out an old worn ravager flame he had gotten when he was younger then Peter.

 

“Remember when you was wondering about how I knew so much about ravager culture? Its cause I have been prepping my whole life for the chance to be one, ever since I met him and he told me about the codes.”

Kraglin glanced at the door and saw Yondu wasn’t coming back and smiled at Peter who’s eyes where flicking open again. He was still too out of it to even acknowledge Kraglin let alone remember anything he was saying but Kraglin wanted to talk, talking meant not thinking. Not thinking about the orphan girl who offed herself and was never mentioned again, not thinking about who hurt Peter to make him act like that, and not fearing he would have a hand in a child dying cause he was too dumb to properly protect Peter like he wanted.

“Can you keep a secret Peter?”

Peter didn’t respond with words, just a low groan but his blurry eyes were looking at him and that made Kraglin smile.

“I met the Star Hawk when I was around yer age, Yondu’s mentor Stakar and he gave me this badge after explaining the entire code to me.”

“He didn’t have anything better to do since him and his wife were fighting and she had gone upstairs with my mom, before I was taken from her for being an unfit mother, to have a little fun then he showed up afterwards and sat with me the entire time he waited for his wife. To apologize he said to me so he could join her on the fun next time.”

Peter blinked at him and seemed like he was passing out again but Kraglin kept talking anyway. He liked this memory. The legendary Star Hawk sitting next to him, a small bastard child no one paid much mind to and talking to him like he was important enough to know about his trade. He didn’t shoo him off with annoyance or disdain like most did but just kept talking. Told him all about the codes, his favorite adventures and most of all his protégé he was so proud of, Yondu Udonta.

“The captain learned everything from Star Hawk, can you imagine the Yondu Udonta as a teen trailing behind a legend like that not too different from us? I can’t but it gives me hope to one day be as great as him.”

Peter was sleeping away but Kraglin smiled as his little hand fell on his and squeezed his finger.

“You’ll turn out just as great Pete, I promise. Maybe the name Star Lord can be just as renown as Star Hawk. Till then, I ain’t gonna let anything happen to ya. You won’t ever have to feel scared or alone because you’ll have me.” 

Kraglin slid the badge back into his pocket, gently running his fingers through Peter’s hair again after re tucking his odd looking stuffed animal next to him once more. 

Peter would be OK, Kraglin wasn’t gonna let anything happen. That he promised.


	16. Old Friend

Yondu Udonta would never admit it but he was nervous. It didn’t show. His head was held high as ever, his ever present scowl on his face, shoulders back and straight like a soldier walking into battle, prepared for anything. Inside his stomach was twisting in a way it had only done a handful of times. Ali crying and begging for help only to ripped from him by her own father who wouldn’t admit to his hand in his own daughter’s murder; Stakar’s displeased stare as his former friend and first mate told him about Ego and the first time he walked into an arena filled with Kree citizens screaming for blood and the realization his opponent was the little boy who made him laugh when he was scared. 

Ego’s last remaining child was laying in his room and he didn’t want to be the reason (again) another baby sired by that man died. He needed to do something he should have done the moment the boy stopped eating and go down to the med bay and confront his old friend. The only man aboard the elector who knew shit about medicine.

It was true in recent years he had more and more mishaps resulting in more deaths in his care then without it but it wasn’t his age that caused that. The cause was the substance wafting through the hallway, its smell so strong it met Yondu’s nostrils a foot from the door. He heard a loud clank of another bottle being disposed of in the med bay and sighed loudly, today was not a good day for Tak to be drinking. 

Tak had been a presence in Yondu’s life since he had been freed around Kraglin’s age and he usually paid the man enough respect for sticking by him so long to knock but today he didn’t have the patience for respect. He over rode the lock with his key card, his ship was his domain and he had easy access to any part of it.

Inside the older man sat at his desk, uncorking what looked like Xandarian Moonshine. That would not lead to good things Yondu decided whistling softly and letting his arrow take out the problem for him, much to Tak’s displeasure as glass and liquor exploded onto his desk and soaking his jacket in what he planned to bring himself comfort with.

“Always have to make the entrance,” Tak grumbled, words slurred and a tiredness stained into each word.

He was old and when drunk like this it stood out over his calculated, studious stares that made it seem like he knew everything and there was no problem he couldn’t solve. His long withered fingers scratched into his white unruly facial hair, turning those weary eyes onto him.

“Get on with it, Udonta.”

“I may have gave the Terran too much of the good stuff,” he admitted a bit sheepishly feeling like a teenager again under that stern glare, he almost feared, momentarily so caught up in the past, the old man was gonna run and tell Stakar he messed up.

His response was the usual loud groan and eye roll he had become too accustomed to over the years. 

“What was the point of gettin’ the baby at all if you was just gonna be the one to kill ‘im?!!”

“Shoulda just gave ‘im to Ego if ya was gonna just OD the thing,” he continued on ignoring the murderous look Yondu threw his way that would have shut anyone else up, “There woulda been money for a baby’s corpse then.” 

Yondu remembered a time, so long ago it might as well have been a past life, him a little older then Kraglin just wanting to fit in when he would have taken this man’s drunken ramblings. He remembered counting in his head to quell his anger to not hit one of Stakar’s oldest and dearest friends, one his original crewmen he was always told. 

He didn’t have the energy to listen to him today, not with all this shit going on. He grabbed him by his jacket and slammed him against the wall, making sure he saw he was going to listen to him today. No drunken ramblings about the good days, he didn’t want to hear him scold him about how he fucked up again and how disappointed his former mentor would be in him, no drunkenly guilting him about the fact he has always stayed by his side and he repays that by breaking his promise again by taking a job from Ego.

He wasn’t going to take his drunk rants today and he wanted him to know that as he whistled softly making the arrow rise slowly, inching closer and closer to his old friend’s head.

“Do it Udonta, just do it,” he mocked through winded breaths, “Get it over with.”

“That’s probably what ya want,” Yondu hissed letting Tak go and letting him hit the ground with a thud, “A way out, huh? Ya can’t crawl back to Stakar neither after ya helped me and stood up for me. Is that why yer always drinking? Always causing casualties? Ya want me to do it?”

Tak said nothing, he just looked longingly at his desk drawer making Yondu angrier pulling it open and finding more booze. He smashed the bottle against the ground, glaring at his medic, his useless worn out shadow of his former self friend.

“Go sober yer ass up. Get some damn coffee and food then walk yer ass to my cabin and get Kraglin and Peter. Yer gonna fix that boy up or I’m finding a new medic.”

Yondu watched him leave, Tak grumbling the entire way out about what he should prepare for him in his absence. He sank into Tak’s desk, going through his drawers and breaking any liquor bottles he found, until that boy was healthy he wasn’t drinking. He would get the supplies ready but that damn drunk was doing his job for once. He could let all his worthless crew die all he wants but he wasn’t letting Peter die or suffer any longer. He failed so many kids in the past, Peter wasn’t gonna be one of them.

He propped his legs up on the desk and remembered Peter’s older siblings all came with their own belongings. Packs made with love and care by their mothers who thought they were sending their babies off to a better life, filled with cloths and toys and games. Ego never allowed his children to bring the belongings always handing them back to Yondu along with his money promising they wouldn’t need them. Yondu never cared enough to think about that detail, figuring he was getting them better cloths and toys, much better than the hand me down garbage their mothers could only afford. 

Some of those could probably fit Peter and it wasn’t like his siblings would need them any longer. They had been tossed in a supply closet years ago just in case another child was ever brought on their ship and it looked like it was finally time to use them.

He commed Horuz down to bring them to him and he could hear the annoyance in his tone as he agreed to do it. He was about to hang up when Horuz brought another bit of stress to his plate. He heard it in the back ground, his incompetent first mate yelling for help and Horuz promising he would handle it. He didn't doubt that but he didn't want this shit escalating either.

He pinched the edge of his nose and mumbled a few choice words.

Maybe he shouldn’t have destroyed Tak’s whiskey, he could use it right now.

\----

Kraglin had fallen into a light doze in the quiet room, ear perked listening carefully for any noise to come out of Peter and fulfill his one job bestowed on him by the captain. Peter was too drugged to do much besides moan, his fingers would occasionally squeeze Kraglin’s hand but nothing more.

The captain’s room had a chill in it that made Kraglin drowsy, so he didn’t fight his exhaustion and decided to just rest until the captain came back, keeping one ear open for Peter. He was a light sleeper, if Peter woke again, he would be up in an instant.

It wasn’t Peter who would drag him from his rest but a loud banging at the door and loud curses when he didn’t open the door fast enough. Kraglin already in a foul mood for being woken up, just sat there as the pounding continued, he even pettily stuck his tongue out and crossed his arms. If Peter were awake, he would have appreciated Kraglin’s pettiness. 

“Cabin boy, I may be old but I can still beat yer ass! OPEN THIS DOOR! YER FOOL OF A CAPTAIN GAVE ME THE WRONG KEY CARD!”

Kraglin’s head shot up as his fuzzy, sleep deprived brain finally connected the dots. Yondu sent Tak to check on Peter. It was a reasonable thing to do, Tak was the only person on this ship who knew anything about taking care of a sick child but a protective part of Kraglin told him this was a bad choice. Tak’s drinking habits were getting the best of him these days and he was no longer the field medic who joined with the Star Hawk all those years ago. He didn’t seem to know how to keep anyone alive these days, even from minor injuries, let alone bring someone back to life as he was rumored to be able to do back in the day. 

His drinking problems had gotten him shot in the head a few months back during an attempted mutiny. He turned out fine, already having a metal plate in his head from his days in the military but the injury coupled with his drinking did not go over well for anyone else injured. A good chunk of them died and this was the man Yondu was trusting Peter’s life with…

Yondu never made mistakes, Kraglin tried to remind himself. His captain wouldn’t fail Peter.

He let the doctor in and was relieved he didn’t have the strong aroma of liquor he usually had on him, that was replaced by the smell of coffee. Kraglin wrinkled his nose at him as he walked by him, it didn’t seem like he just drank coffee, it smelt more like he rolled around in coffee grounds.

To Tak’s credit, he didn’t seem openly dismissive of the boy’s condition as the rest of the crew was. A sad stare moving up and down Peter as he pulled the blanket away Kraglin had tucked him into.

“Poor baby,” he heard him grumble resting his hand on Peter’s forehead before opening his eye and shining a light on it making Peter let out one of his little pained moans.

“The blue idiot gave ya too much, yer gonna be feeling this one when ya come to.”

He checked his pulse and frowned at his tiny wrist.

“Too skinny. Cabin boy, why didn’t ya come to me when he stopped eating? I could have done better for the baby then the blue idiot has been doing.”

Kraglin didn’t know how to answer that one. He could lie and risk Yondu’s wrath or he could tell the truth and risk being poisoned by someone who knew how to give him a slow painful death for calling him a useless drunk. Silence was the best option.

“Speak up boy, I can’t hear yer mumbling!”

Kraglin would hardly call his even breaths mumbling but Tak must have just assumed he would say something.

“I ain’t sayin’ nothin’,” Kraglin snapped crossing his arms, “Don’t touch his cloths, he’s shy and don’t want old drunks seein him vulnerable.”

Tak rolled his eyes but did stop pulling down on Peter’s flannel shirt.

“Fine. I won’t inspect the baby anymore until we get back to my office where the blue idiot better have everything ready.”

“He ain’t a baby, he’s a kid. Old enough to have his own say in what happens to him and I think the captain will agree he shouldn’t be inspected at all until he’s awake.”

Tak didn’t seem to hear him going about poking at Peter who just made his little pained noises each time testing Kraglin’s patience.

“I feel your glares on my neck,” Tak noted moving away from Peter, “I don’t want to get into another fight with yer hard headed captain today by getting into a fight with his protégé, so you carry the baby.”

That took Kraglin by surprise. He never thought of himself like that. It made sense, he did get away with more than most of the crew would ever dream of and was the only member to be permitted into Yondu’s private area and left to do whatever he pleased in here but at the same time it felt more like hopeful thinking Yondu would ever truly consider him that.

Kraglin didn’t want to make this moment about himself, Peter needed him and he wasn’t gonna let him down. He couldn’t lose another person from his life. Lifting Peter was too easy, it was like carrying a small sack that was only half way full, he was so small. He awkwardly maneuvered his arms around his neck and smiled slightly feeling Peter gently hug his neck, he was so drugged and out of it he probably just thought Kraglin was his weird toy (that he wisely tucked in his jacket pocket in case things got out of hand again).

Peter’s breath tickled against his ear and his dirty hair felt like dying wheat brushing against his face with each step down the hall they took, Tak leading the way and grumbling the entire way about his disdain for the captain. Tak was the only person aboard the ship who could get away with such disrespect, he had been Yondu’s senior officer at one point in his career. Kraglin didn’t know the story of why he stayed if he was so miserable working under the captain, he just assumed somewhere under all his drunk ramblings he must have cared for the captain and maybe wanted desperately to send some good word back to Stakar one day so the two could make some amends.

Kraglin didn’t know as much as he wanted people to think he did, but he was pretty good at reading people and it was mainly hopeful thinking on his part that whatever pulled the Star Hawk and his protégé apart, it would resolve itself one day.

Kraglin jumped a little as Yondu’s booming voice echoed in front of him as they neared their destination.

“Good, ya weren’t too drunk to do simple god damn tasks. Ya got the kids here in one piece, that weren’t so hard now was it?”

“Don’t talk down to me, Udonta,” Tak sneered brushing past him and back into his domain, “I hope you were smart enough to prepare the bath I asked for correctly.”

“Its fine, its ready and all yer shit is laid out just as instructed,” the captain had a mocking tone on his voice that Tak looked like he wanted to comment on and all the restraint of holding back that fight was making his face a bright red that matched his jacket.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Kraglin’s words weren’t loud but they weren’t soft either, yet they were ignored by the older men in the room all the same. Both too busy glaring at each other and too busy sizing each other up to find some ammunition to use against the other later. 

“Cabin Boy, give the baby to the blue idiot, let him clean up his own mess for once in his life.”

“Lay him out on the table, Kraglin, Tak needs to do his damn job for once.”

Kraglin did neither, just continuing to stand at the entrance running his fingers through Peter’s filthy hair.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” he repeated not looking at either man, “Peter is really out of it and I don’t think it’s a good idea to be poking at him until he’s awake, especially after his panic attack earlier.”

“Kraglin, that’s all the reason Tak needs to poke and clean the little shit while he’s asleep.”

“The baby doesn’t get a say in it, if you want him alive, he needs to be treated and it will be much less stressful for him to be asleep during the process.”

Kraglin knew this, he had been wanting Yondu to help him since day one but it didn’t feel right to just violate him like this while he was asleep and not able to understand they were just helping him.

“He didn’t even like me in the same space as him when he took a piss, I doubt he will like this drunk stripping him while he’s passed out, captain!”

Kraglin didn’t have to raise his head, he felt those angry, disappointed eyes bearing into him but he stood his ground. He didn’t think this was a good idea, nothing should be done until Peter woke up.

His captain however was a hard head who didn’t like rebellion on his ship and equated most back talk to mutiny, so Kraglin should consider himself lucky he wasn’t getting an arrow through his head for speaking his mind.

“I ain’t got time for either of yer shit,” the captain snared yanking Peter from Kraglin’s shaking arms, “I have to get back to the bridge before one of those idiots gets it in his head they don’t like my coordinates and first mate is too useless to keep them in line.”

He thrust Peter into Tak’s arms (almost making the elderly man drop the child with the force Yondu put into his thrust) and yanked Kraglin’s face up making him stare into his disappointed eyes.

“You two will make sure that boy ain’t on deaths door and get him clean and have him back in my room tucked in before dinner or an arrow goes through both of yer heads. That’s an order.”

With that he was gone, leaving two shaking men behind him staring at the still passed out child, both having varying opinions on how the child should be handled. Tak not as sure as he once was that Yondu wouldn’t kill him didn’t bother to voice the insult he had at the edge of his tongue and Kraglin too shaken, beating himself up for his behavior towards the captain didn’t bother trying to fight Peter back from Tak (who wasn’t holding him right and was at risk of dropping the child).

Neither moving an inch but both mentally noting they only had three hours before the alarm for dinner would sound off.


	17. Answers

“You don’t want me doin’ it, you do it.”

That was all Tak said after thrusting Peter into his arms, Kraglin did nothing but look down at the kid. He didn’t want him to be mad at him when he woke up, if they had to do this he would rather Peter be mad at someone else. He glared daggers towards the older man, setting the little boy on one of the beds in the room and crossing his arms.

“This ain’t a time to be stubborn, boy,” Tak hissed at him poking one of his long, wrinkled fingers into Kraglin’s chest making him grunt in pain and take a step back trying to avoid another stab from those sharp nails.

“Our lives are on the line or don’t you remember?” Kraglin looked down turning a deep red. He didn’t need to be reminded he was failing the man he idolized. Tak scowled looked at the broken glass by his desk and the smell of alcohol that was making Kraglin a little dizzy.

“Clean that up when you get done Cabin Boy, I don’t need a reminder I am being forced into sobriety.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much to begin with, it would drop the casualty count in half,” Kraglin grumbled gently pulling Peter’s plaid shirt off, it had an awful odor to it, a strong mix of sweat and dirt rolled together. How long had this kid been wearing these cloths? They were stiff and grimy, probably needed to be put through the washer twice to come out clean again.

Now don’t get Kraglin wrong, he was as gross and disgusting as they came. Sometimes going days without bathing and wearing the same cloths for days before deciding maybe he could use a fresh pair but in his defense his cloths were at least designed to not be washed for days at time and the anti bacterial agent he uses helps keep him clean longer. He doubted Peter from his primitive backwards planet had that luxury. 

“Those men deserved to die,” Tak hissed as if that was supposed to make Kraglin feel better the only man with medical knowledge on their ship was always holding a bottle of rum in one hand and a scalpel in the other. 

“I can’t argue with that sound logic,” Kraglin grumbled rolling his eyes but Tak didn’t seem to understand he was being sarcastic.

“You shouldn’t question it Cabin Boy cause they did.”

Kraglin didn’t say anymore not wanting to learn Tak poisoned people he didn’t like who had been put into his care or let them bleed out while he watched or something like that. He could believe that. You didn’t really want to test anyone who willingly became a ravager and Tak was no exception to that rule. 

He focused once more on Peter. His under shirt was stained to hell, if Kraglin had to guess he supposed it was originally white but it had taken on a more yellowish color now. There were what looked like chocolate stains on the bottom edges where Peter must have been wiping his grubby hands after dipping into his large stash. He smiled at him, kid liked his sweets it seemed. He would make sure he got as many as he could eat after this task was done, maybe that would quiet the guilt stirring in his mind. 

“Peter, I know ya don’t want it but I’m also sure ya don’t want no blood on yer hands, so I am gonna take off yer shirt.”

Peter said nothing, not even a groan came from him. That made Kraglin feel worse so he slowly repeated himself as he poked at Peter’s side making the child groan and swat his hand in the wrong direction in response to it. It wasn’t a yes or no but it was a response so Kraglin took it.

The shirt was stinky from sweet and had to be peeled off the boy’s skin before Kraglin was able to pull it off. There were a few scattered bruises on his chest but nothing too serious, probably from the crew the night he was brought aboard Kraglin thought his stomach turning a little at the thought.

He scowled a little at the bruises on his arms, taking their sweet time healing and still looking nasty as ever. It was highly unnecessary how the crew treated a kid who wasn't even fighting them after being abducted. Holding him down like they would do someone twice their size and some seeming to have fun twisting at his arm trying to get a rise out of the traumatized kid too scared to move. It was a disgusting display and one of the few moments Kraglin was almost ashamed to consider himself a part of this crew.

“Not so bad, huh buddy? Grunt if its ok if I go further.”

Kraglin began poking Peter again much to Tak’s ire.

“Oh for the love of god, Cabin Boy, boy is drugged, he can not answer you back and this is wasting time, you should have already had him in the bath the blue idiot set up.”

“I feel better when he gives me some kind of permission before I undress him considering how he flipped out on me about being in the same room with him pissing.”

Tak let out a loud sigh and a grunted curse Kraglin couldn’t make out, “Kids are just like that sometimes Cabin Boy, you can’t understand them. Just like I can’t understand why you want to waste time and risk our lives.”

Kraglin ignored Tak and just went back to talking to Peter, “Never mind him, he’s just feeling his hangover after sobering up. He will be very cranky for awhile because I don’t think Cap’n will tolerate the casualties anymore, whether they deserved it or not.”

Tak was already ranting under his breath about the Cabin Boy who thought he was someone talking to him like that while slinging the supplies Captain had got for him in a disorganized clump and marching into the bathroom. Kraglin heard something break and more cursing and knew he needed to hurry up before Tak came back hurling death threats at him.

“Sorry, baby boy but I gotta hurry up. I’ll close my eyes while taking off yer pants, promise.” 

He could only keep that promise for a few seconds as his finger fumbled against Peter’s belt and he could hear Tak yelling for him to hurry up. His frown deepened seeing how tightened the belt was and still how loose the boy’s pants were, refusing to eat was not the kids best decision in life. Peter began to squirm a little when began to pull the pants down and he stopped hearing the scared little stop that came from him. His drugs were wearing off it seemed and Kraglin couldn’t do this.

The decision wasn’t his to make he was reminded as Tak came over to him shaking his head and looking down at the little boy who was coming too enough to realize his privacy was being violated but not enough to know by who or what reason. He instantly began swatting in Kraglin’s direction until he moved, pulling a vial and needle from his jacket.

“Just something to take those nerves away,” he said offhandedly concentrating on getting just the right amount into the needle before capping it and sliding it in his jacket for future use, “Might still wake up if the blue idiots original dosing wears off but this will take some of the stress away and relax him. Won’t give him too much, don’t want to harm the thing but I will give him just enough to get the job done without incident.” 

He checked the old clock hanging on the wall, nodding to himself, and muttering something under his breath.

He said all this in a quick blur of words that jumbled together as he took Peter’s limp wrist and held it for a few seconds eyes on the clock.

“Heart rate is fine for now, not as strong as I would like but fine for now. I’ll check again when the drugs wear off to make sure nothing is off.”

He ran his scanner over Peter muttering about the numbers and symbols Kraglin didn’t understand.

“Organs look fine. I want to put him on the drip to get him some more fluids in before we return him to the idiots room and I have some vitamins and nutrient shots he needs after we get him cleaned up. They aren’t as good as full meal but they are a start and won’t hurt his stomach after the heavy dose of drugs he has unnecessarily been given so far.”

“If either of you had any brain cells between ya, you would have come to me sooner. He wouldn’t be this weak if we had been giving him these shots earlier when he was refusing to eat. His immune system seems good so we shouldn’t have to worry about any unexpected fatal diseases and I would rather not give him any of the booster shots until I learn more about his biology and whether or not it will do any good.”

“He’s mainly emotionally sick,” Kraglin said softly and to his surprise the doctor didn’t make fun of that or tell him the kid needed to learn to control his emotions.

He just nodded sadly and pulled the remainder of Peter’s cloths off himself, sucking in angry breaths as he went about inspecting his charge further.

“He has a right to be,” was all his delayed response to Kraglin’s statement. He had already wrapped Peter up in a towel before Kraglin could get a good look at him (having closed his eyes tight when Tak had yanked his pants off and Peter began to whimper). He picked Peter up himself and instructed Kraglin to go find what was taking the idiots so long to get the clean cloths he asked for as he went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him, not letting Kraglin follow.

Kraglin didn’t even need to move from his spot before Tulk came in the room, scowl present and a new shiner he didn’t have last time he saw him. He must have been staring because Tulk turned right on him, squaring his shoulders to make himself look bigger then he was, Kraglin rolled his eyes to that, he had been given death threats by far more intimidating figures than Tulk in the past.

“Captain is in one of his foul moods,” he snared tossing a bag at Kraglin that he caught. He furrowed his eyes seeing it was filled with children’s clothing. In his year on the ship, Peter had been the first child to come aboard. He heard the captain repeat enough to potential clients he doesn’t deal in kids that he just assumed Peter was a special one time only case. 

He didn’t voice his question but his staring at the cloths formed them silently.

“Those belonged to the little shit’s siblings,” that answer did nothing but raise questions for Kraglin.

“Siblings…?”

“Half siblings specifically,” Tulk answered flopping down on one of the vacant bed’s making himself comfortable obviously not wanting to get back to whatever state the main part of the ship was in to make captain lose his patience so easily with a senior crew member like Tulk.

“Captain probably didn’t tell ya, doubt he’ll tell anyone but seeing how yer his new work in progress I see no harm in tellin ya. Captain dealt with little shit’s father before.” 

“Who is his dad?” Kraglin asked not taking his eyes off the pile of children’s clothing all tossed together in a large red bag that was usually used to hold tools.

“Ya met him with the captain,” was all he said and Kraglin racked his brain until the memory dawned on him. Ego. Ego was his name and he had never seen the captain show so much hatred to another life form. Kraglin for once in his life, didn’t want to know more. He didn’t want to store away this knowledge to be useful on some rainy day, he didn’t want to know what happened to the previous owners of these cloths or what would have happened to Peter if they didn’t keep him.

His hands were slightly shaking as he began dumping the contents of the bag out onto a vacant bed. It was so many cloths and toys and little notes in languages Kraglin couldn’t read, all lumped together. 

Kraglin could barely process words, staring at the pile so he said nothing. The silence was broken by Peter crying out making them both turn their heads sharply towards the bathroom door but nothing came of it. Tak must have used his drugs to calm him down. Tak was gently shushing Peter’s little whimpers before it went silent again, Peter must have been knocked out the drugs again.

“Little Shit that bad?”

“I told ya he was and I don’t exaggerate.”

Tulk just shrugged at his answer, playing it cool acting like he didn’t care like he always did. Kraglin was little jealous of him at that moment, Tulk never wore his emotions on his sleeve and he could never read him like he could always read him.

“This place smells like the inside of a rum bottle, captain force sobriety on the good doc?”

Kraglin didn’t answer he was still staring at the cloths. Most were too big for Peter. He picked up a blue tunic, just staring at it. It was thick and made for colder weather, this would be good for Peter to sleep in now since he would likely be suffering from a feverish chill as the drugs slowly left his body. 

He remembered the man from the bar, Ego, Peter’s dad. He didn’t look like someone capable of killing his own children but just by looking at his captain he knew there was something bad about him. He didn’t realize it was this bad, he just thought he was another person captain owed money to and was coming to cause problems about it. He should have shot him when he had the chance. 

“Won’t do ya no good boy, Ego here ain’t human and don’t bleed, already tried it.”

What was he then and why did he need Peter? He turned away from the cloths and turned towards the bathroom door where he could hear little splashes and Tak gently talking to Peter. He was telling him how he was examining him, he never fully trusted scanners and just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong.

Tulk was talking again, no complaining again was the more accurate way to describe it but Kraglin couldn’t hear him over the buzzing in his ears. He stared back at the pile he had made. He pulled a doll from it, a little hand made thing he could imagine a small child like Peter curling next to at night. Then a hand me down pink dress that was beginning to come apart at the seams, patches holding it together. Plenty of little pairs of socks, a rainbow of colors Kraglin spread across the bed. Little tiny under garments and more thick winter wear, one of them must have come from an ice planet. Kraglin felt a little sick looking at all these cloths. He remembered the day he met Stakar so long ago and when he asked if he could take him with him, maybe just for a little while, he was met with a laugh, ruffle of his hair and a simple rule.

“Ravagers don’t deal with kids, little buddy. We’re bastards but we aren’t going to be the cause of a child’s suffering, that’s a line you simply don’t cross if you want to be a ravager in one of my clans.” 

So that was it. That was what caused the rift between mentor and protégé and why the captain was helping Peter now, he was trying to make amends. Kraglin felt a fresh wave of respect for his captain at the realization and a deeper sense of guilt after he had let him down not following orders.

He was brought away from his thoughts as he heard Tak loudly complaining about Tulk’s presence.

“Get lost Tulk, I don’t need you in here getting under my foot while I work.”

“Come on Tak, I was just gonna give ya a hand.”

“Got Cabin Boy, don’t need you.”

Peter was nothing more then a pile of bundled towels in Tak’s arms, that he very gently laid on a bed away from Tulk and closer to Kraglin who was still sorting through the cloths.

“Fine, don’t use my assistance, don’t mean I’m leaving, Captain is in one foul mood right now and treating anything as an act of mutiny. On top of that, ain't nothin' better to do. We are in dead space and probably stuck here.”

Tak paused what he was doing and turned his attention to Tulk.

“Dead Space? Which Dead Space, there is more than one ya know.”

“Seventeen.”

Tak frowned leaving Peter’s side for a moment and gesturing Kraglin to stand by him while he went to get more information on this development from Tulk. Kraglin obliged happy to do something, pulling the towels back enough to get a look at Peter’s face. Boy was still out of it but he was shaking pretty bad. It didn’t seem he liked his bath like Kraglin figured he wouldn’t.

He didn’t want to feel useless so he began drying Peter off better, only half listening to the two men in the room as he worked to get Peter into his new cloths and warm him up a little.

“Seventeen? Yondu chose to go Dead Space 17 willingly?”

“It was the closest one he told Horuz, why?”

“Its not like him to want to be in this region considering his history here.”

“I don’t know, doc. I wasn't there and Horuz talks out of his ass sometimes. Probably thinks it’s the best place to train the babies right now.” 

Kraglin didn’t want to listen to them. This conversation didn’t seem like it was meant for him, he had never known Tulk to be gentle but talking to the older man, he was.

Kraglin gently picked up some socks, pair of under wear, and the thick blue tunic, it would be good enough to sleep in. He slid the tunic on him first, it was large on him like Kraglin expected it would be, the sleeves easy to roll up in case Tak needed to do anything else.

“This place isn’t a good place for anyone. The babies are upset, the crew is in unrest and he wants to be here?” 

For a brief moment, Kraglin wondered what that meant. Dead Space was boring, no matter which dead space you were in. It was just a used-up part of the galaxy no one wanted anymore. Yet, Tak was acting like they were going into a war zone.

He rolled his eyes to their dramatics, continuing to pull the towel off Peter’s lower half, mouthing a few sorrys to Peter as he groaned again.

“The little shit is alright, isn’t he? I don’t think captain can handle anymore baby blood on his hands right now.” 

Might as well rip off this band aid now to get his job done faster, an hour till diner and doc still needed to get some meds in him.

Pulling the towel completely off, he saw them. He couldn’t have missed it. The marks made Kraglin’s stomach turn. They weren’t fresh, nothing but scars and remnants of the past but they just took the air right from Kraglin.

“He will be. Ya just gotta be a little gentle with that one, he’s very sick mentally.” 

Kraglin wanted to shout to them of course he’s not ok! How could he be?! This wasn’t just getting beat a few times or grieving, those marks on his thigh told of a very bad kind of abuse. Kraglin being a teen thinking of nothing but sex could tell you how they were made. It made sense why he was so insistent of not being vulnerable around anyone.

Kraglin was breathing harder unable to take his eyes off the scars, they were unmistable, they were teeth mark. You didn’t bite someone there unless…oh god.

“Bad place for him then to be on a ravager crew,” Tulk chuckled making Kraglin want to punch him for taking this situation so lightly when it was making Kraglin feel so ill.

Kraglin highly disagreed. This was the best place for him right now. Someone hurt him, real bad, worse then Kraglin had thought on Earth and he was never letting him go back to that primitive world. 

He jumped feeling a hand land on his shoulder, his head shot up to see Tak looking at him with concern.

“Go with Tulk, I’ll finish up here then take the rest of the day off. You can sleep in here tonight if you need some alone time, Kraglin.”

Kraglin couldn’t find the words he was still breathing hard just staring at the doc but Tulk very gently (something he was very unused to) took his shoulders and directed him towards the door.

“Come on cabin boy, come get a drink with me. It will make you feel better.”

Kraglin couldn’t find words, he just nodded. He wasn’t old enough to drink and usually reminded of that when he tried to steal any liquor from the kitchens (the cooks usually making him scrub the vents out if he even thought about it) but right now he needed it. He wanted to forget about what he had just learned and go pass out somewhere far away from the crew to give himself time to process this all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just edited it all up! I'll be editing it all again probably when I finish because I'm just that paranoid my story isn't good enough!


	18. Baby Steps

It was a faint echo, traveling through the ship, a squabble was happening. Sounded like feet running and hollering. He traveled from the med center, down the long winding hallway and stopped at the entrance to the engine room, he could already tell the shit had hit the fan since he had been gone.

Yondu scowled at his men standing around with stupid grins on their faces. The men keeping the engine running smooth and keeping her from overheating were lined up, some toppling on top of other trying to get past the bigger crew all piled up on the stairway, eyes towards the chaos, smiles firmly in place and a betting pool going.

“What’s this?” he asked nonchalantly making the smiles drop from their faces and dread begin to form. Tulk was the closest to him, peaking around the corner smiling at the rumble, still covered in grease and still holding his welding torch indicating he had ran up here at the sound of a fight, dropping whatever he had previously been doing.

“First mate let slip we was heading into dead space and some men don’t agree,” Tulk responded casually eyes still towards the slowly rising echo.

“We didn’t leave our posts like we weren’t supposed to, ya can’t yell at us. Go yell at them and do tell me what happened to first mate. I’m betting them bone headed bounty hunters behead him.”

Yondu didn’t share Tulk’s smile, his face remaining hardened making the men around them quickly begin to fade back into the engine room, Tulk didn’t seem to think his ire was worth anything so he did what he did best and kept talking. Young, stupid and cocky as ever.

“Horuz is already up there. Dropped everything he was doing when he heard first mate run by, ya know how that bastard is, always front and center ready to put his foot down on any nonsense that goes on.”

“I told ya, ain’t no good ever come from hiring bounty hunters. Too loud. Too self-righteous. Think they know everything. And ya picked up five of the biggest idiots I ever seen on Know Where and ya expect bounty hunters to be quiet about being so far away from their next hunt. Especially them.”

“Ya been sneaking booze again, boy?”

“I ain’t a boy no more, Cap’n,” he laughed, “Ya said it yourself the only code we follow now is we steal from everyone.”

“Not our own,” he snarled taking Tulk by surprise slamming him against the wall, staring him straight in the eyes bringing the fear of God out of the younger man.

“Thieve’n from me is mutiny from here on out, it don’t matter how long ya been here, is that clear?” Tulk nodded, turning a little red as he gasped for air the tighter Yondu’s forearm pressed against his throat.

“I have more pressing matters to deal with and it looks like Horuz is too busy to handle it now as well, so you listen well boy. If’n you don’t want to be spaced, go get the old cargos’ belongings from the tailor’s closet and bring it to Tak.”

“But Cap’n, I’m the only one here who knows how to regulate the engine until Horuz gets---”

Yondu didn’t hesitate, he struck Tulk hard across the face and kicked him square in the stomach for good measure.

“Get it done, Tulk. Don’t got time for that mouth of yers.” 

Tulk didn’t say a thing, not even a grumbled complaint as he jumped up to do his captain’s command.

\---

The echo was becoming louder as he entered the kitchen. He raised a questioning look at the cooking staff and the main cook, a bulking half breed of maybe five different species mouthed to him ‘first mate is making it worse’.

“Whatever good lord is out there help me…” he groaned making the cook let out a barking laugh.

“Ya know how bounty hunters are Cap’n, they are arrogant and take offense to anything and I don’t think Horuz can keep them calm much longer. The arguing seems to be nearing its end.”

Yondu didn’t respond. Bounty Hunters were good for profit for their now lone wolf Clan but they were stubborn and didn’t seem to want to abide by Ravager customs or codes. Being a ravager meant you had more resources, even in a banned ravager clan like Yondu’s, and a better chance of getting the big money jobs without having to grovel on hands and knees to any monsters you would find pulling the strings from the shadows of the undergrounds.

He left the cook to finish diner and took a deep breath to calm his anger before going in to find out what was going on.

He stood in the back, taking in the crowd. It was only the bounty hunters they had picked up on Know Where as Tulk had informed him, staring down Horuz wearing his usual scowl. He looked more annoyed then anything staring down the five burly men, his first mate cowering behind Horuz clinging tightly to his shoulders, pressed against his back. Horuz was not the kind of shield you wanted for the man in front of them.

He was a few feet taller than Horuz, he and his brothers behind him were unfortunate specimen made by the Kree. They were large, bulking behemoths with more muscle then brain and were sadly born that way. Before being liberated, they had no names, so they took it on themselves to name themselves after grand battles they had won.

It sounded like something cool in principle but the execution could have gone better. Instead of sounding like proud warriors, they just sounded like shit Peter, the tiny primitive child would think was cool.

Knife Heart (yes that really was his name Yondu reminded himself) was trying to push past Horuz and get his hands on the young man behind him. Horuz was having none of his shit and pressed his blaster firmly against his throat. 

The man dwarfed Horuz and looked like he could easily squish him between his fingers but Horuz, a hardened soldier before he became a ravager, had seen it all and stood down to no one. Horuz was very no nonsense and didn’t take kindly to bullshit going on the ship and maybe that’s why Yondu kept him around, it wasn’t because of his personality that was for sure.

“I’m about to make your new nickname ‘Blaster Hole’ if you don’t back the fuck off.”

Knife heart let out a barking laugh at that and nodded his head towards one of his brothers.

“That is his name. It is quite the remarkable tale I will gladly tell you sometime, Horuz, my friend, once you give me the coward behind you. He is not fit to be the first mate of this ship and needs to learn to respect me.”

“The Cap’n tends to like his idiots in one piece,” Horuz stated firmly making Yondu proud of his loyalty, “It were the cap’’n’s orders to begin with that we come here. Ya want ta handle the bounty, go do it yerself.”

“As powerful as my brothers and I are, we would need more team effort to accomplish it. While Yondu handles his own mission, we should bring honor to our clan by pulling off such a difficult assassination.”

“That wouldn’t do us any good to get caught in the middle of a war,” Horuz stated firmly standing his ground, “We don’t get involved with Kree politics and I thought you people would understand why.”

“But it would be worth more than any of the garbage we would ever find out here! And think of the long term---”

“Horuz is right, we don’t get involved with wars,” Yondu called making every eye in the room turn to him leaning casually against the wall.

“But Cap’n----!”

“Unless ya want to be renamed ‘Arrow Head’ ya best stand down now,” Yondu said eyes locked on Knife Heart who instantly stood down, “Ya want to go get involved? Ya want to deal with more repercussions then that money will be worth? Go do it. Go on. Get.”

Yondu slid off the wall and walked towards the brothers making each of them back away from him.

“Ya ever see a Kree battle arena? Naw, you haven’t. Ya were liberated by Xandar before you left the labs weren’t ya?”

They nodded, nervous, not really wanting their captain to continue but he did anyway.

“I know the job ya want to do. No one is taking it because it’s a blue skin connected to Thanos who I hear is quite fond of the arenas and is bringing them back in his part of the galaxy.”

“When yer caught, they won’t kill ya. And you will be caught, trust me. Yer facing down hundreds of hardened Chitauri who are bigger and badder then ya will ever be. Ten of you vs all of them isn’t an even fight once they realize what ya idiots who don’t know what subtly is storm the gates, yelling who ya want to kill.

Ya were trying to kill someone so tied up with Thanos and his idea of what the galaxy should look like. They will force ya apart. Break ya by leaving ya in the dark, starving ya, making ya wish for death but it won’t come. They will make ya fight for basic human rights. Eating, sleeping, the works. Day after day in their arena. Ya’ll get used to it. Maybe even like it. Once ya get comfortable with it, they will suddenly make ya fight each other. Make ya decide who is worth livin’, ya or your brother and ya’ll have ta make the decision.”

Knife Face had a fear in his eyes as he looked towards his many brothers. All large, bulking and scared. He could see it in their eyes. They were too stupid to think about any of this. They were too stupid to realize anything besides how to punch someone in the face. Don’t get Yondu wrong, he usually liked stupid, stupid was easy to control but these idiots were constantly having to be put back in their places. Knife Face turned to his youngest brother, Taser Face (what a name) and instantly decided it wasn’t worth risking them.

Yondu smirked poking him square in the chest making him jump.

“Ya make that choice and risk yerself like that, yer on yer own.”

“We’ll stick by your side, Cap’n, where ever ya take us.”

“Good ta hear,” he said with a smile turning towards Horuz who looked worriedly at him.

“First mate yer fired, go work in the engine room. Horuz yer the new first mate.”

“Cap’n!! Its cursed!”

Yondu gave him a look that made him instantly stand down, scowling not liking that he had ended up in this position. Let Horuz deal with it, it was a stupid belief he had anyway. The only thing cursed on this ship was pissing Yondu off and that’s what all this nonsense was doing.

\--- 

The exhaustion was setting in as he finally reached his room. Every god damn problem he had now was because of that son of a bitch Ego not showing some self-control around women. If the bastard learned what a fucking condom was maybe he wouldn’t need to have people to go collect his bastard children. Stakar would have never banished him and Peter wouldn’t be his problem.

Maybe not existing would be better than the suffering he thought grimly walking in to find Tak finishing up. He was raking his long spindly fingers through Peter’s hair while his other hand held a pump squeezing it every few seconds to make the drip do its job faster.

“Boy likes his drugs,” Yondu knew it was supposed to be a joke but Tak looked too tired for any of the wit or humor he had intended to come though the words, “He’ll sleep through the night and probably most of tomorrow. Don’t worry about him freaking out about someone being next to him tonight. You won’t have any problems from this one.”

“Where’s the other one?” Yondu asked not liking Kraglin was gone, the crew was pissed at him right now, he didn’t want the boy getting involved with that.

“Tulk has him. He became upset earlier and he took him to get a drink.”

“Boy’s fifteen, he ain’t old enough to drink.”

“Old enough to join the crew old enough to drink.”

Yondu frowned at that. It had been so long ago he surprised himself remembering but Tak had said the same exact words to Stakar about him.

“Watch the boy, I’m gonna go get Kraglin.”

“Can do,” Tak chuckled pulling the drip from the catheter and beginning to take the catheter out, shushing Peter’s pained little groans. Yondu stayed back for a minute wincing as Tak yanked the catheter out, blood bubbling at the wound before being covered by gauze and hidden behind bandages. 

“Where’s Quill’s doll?” Yondu asked Quill’s tiny whimpers grinding against his nerves.

“Cabin Boy must have it, it must have slipped his mind,” Yondu frowned at that, Kraglin had been the only one taking care of that kid properly so far, he wouldn’t let things like that just ‘slip his mind’.

“Getting a drink was good for him, he looked at the verge of tears when I last saw him, he was really upset seeing some of the boy’s injuries.” 

Yondu didn’t say anything at first just stared at Tak tucking Peter into the bed and reminding Yondu again of a past he didn’t always like to dredge up, Tak ran his fingers across the kid’s forehead until he calmed down. He remembered Stakar standing where he stood now looking onto Tak patching him up, arms folded across his chest and the anger boiling on his face. Tak gave him a smile and he knew he had become the man who raised him with his own damaged kids he picked up along the way.

“No one is permitted in here, tell them to fuck off if they come knocking.”

“Didn’t want to talk to any of the riff raff you picked up any way.”

Yondu gave him a smile at that, Tak wasn’t wrong. Being separated from the main clan of ravagers hurt their clan significantly. He had to settle for less now. Not the best of the best Stakar had always made sure they had but who ever came and that was usually petty thieves, the cowardly deserters, and those who Stakar would have killed upon learning their records.

Yondu took another long look at the kid taking him in, he was tiny barely taking up space in his bed leaving plenty of space for him. He hated how this damn kid brought things to him he hadn’t felt in a long time, things he had suppressed years ago and never thought he would have to deal with again. God damn Ego and his lack of self-control around women. 

He left without saying the last word, something unlike him. He would deal with Peter later, now he needed to find Kraglin and make sure Tulk didn’t let his charge drink himself into a coma.

\---

He found Tulk and Kraglin down in the hangar, down by Tulk’s M Ship sharing a bottle of rum. Kraglin, sprawled across the ground in front of Tulk holding up an empty glass that the man filled without question. 

Yondu glared at the scene, both were wasted and neither were where they were supposed to be.

Tulk was scheduled to be in the engine room tonight and Kraglin shouldn’t have left Tak’s side but instead they were down here drunk out of their minds and vulnerable to anyone who still had beef with the captain and wanted to attack by offing those loyal.

“Tulk, get lost.”

Tulk did the opposite of that command sticking his tongue defiantly at his captain.

“I’m sick of everyone tellin’ me that. Fuck off Tulk, get lost Tulk, take this kid Tulk, don’t fucking do that Tulk…” he took another shot of his liquid courage and stared his captain down, “We fine where we at, you get lost. This is my ship and I can do what I wants around it.”

Now, if anyone else would have said that to the captain, they would be dead. Tulk however had luck on his side. Yondu had seen this idiot grow from Stakar’s incompetent cabin boy who wished he was as hard working and useful as Kraglin was now and into one hell of an ace pilot who had saved Yondu’s ass on several occasions and had been one of the few to stick by him when it blew up with Stakar.

He was lucky for that but not that damn lucky. Yondu for the second time today grabbed him by his jacket and holed him up to stare into his annoyed red eyes, making the man sweat giving him a nervous grin.

“Ya want stay the night in the infirmary?”

“I reckon I don’t, Cap’n..”

“Well listen to me very closely…beat it Tulk or ya’ll be listin’ to Tak bitch all night for havin’ to patch ya back up.”

“I reckon I don’t want to deal with him now, Cap’n, he’s coming down fast right now and ready to poison the next guy who inconveniences him…”

“Then ya best get lost.”

“Aye, Cap’n.”

Tulk staggered away from Yondu and drunkenly saluted at Kraglin before leaving, tripping over his own feet and stumbling the entire way back to the bunks where Horuz would likely have the younger man’s ass the second he came in that drunk.

Let Tulk be Horuz’s problem, he had his own right here. He stared down at Kraglin who had yet to face him and nudged him a little with his foot to see if he was still awake. Groaning, he slowly opened his eyes.

“My head is hurtin’…”

Yondu knelt by his charge giving him a good once over to make sure Tulk hadn’t over done it with the kid and gave him a smug look watching him roll into himself.

“Tends to happen when ya go off drinkin’ like that, boyo.”

“It made it feel better but now it don’t…” he grumbled falling a little as he tried to get up, Yondu took pity on him and helped him up.

He instantly regretted pulling him up so quick when he barfed right on his boots making Yondu groan, this damn boy was gonna clean them in the morning, that he swore.

“ M Sorry…” he began to slur and Yondu braced himself feeling his bean pole of a cabin boy latch onto him, giving him a large hug sobbing on to him.

He was alone in the hangar and had no one to turn to or redirect this kid to, so he just let him cling to him and let it out hoping maybe he would let go of him after wards. He was very wrong. It seemed when Kraglin’s inhibitions broke, he became a very clingy person. Kraglin was fifteen, he reminded himself. Just a boy.

“Cap’n, M sorry, please don’t be mad…”

Yondu didn’t respond. If he was truthful and not the galaxy’s biggest liar, he would admit he didn’t know how to respond. Stakar always met emotional out bursts with a stern ‘Go cool down, kid’ or a ‘Go see Aleta, kid. She’ll sort ya out’ but Yondu didn’t have an Aleta to shove the kids he had took under his wing to nor did he give them their own space to go cool down at not wanting to seem like he played favorites. Not like he had any place for them to go anyway, shoving them in a closet or letting them stay in the barracks like prisoners seemed little too cruel, even for a bastard like Yondu. In truth he was only going to keep Quill in his cell temporarily until he cleaned off a spot for him in his large quarters but it seemed he would be cleaning a space for Kraglin too. Why did he have to pick the softest, squishiest boys in the galaxy to be his wards?

“You’ll feel better sober,” was his rushed-out response patting Kraglin on the back hoping he would let go but he only got tighter. 

“Cap’n…” he said but couldn’t seem to find the words so just clung to his captain tighter. Yondu was beginning to feel awkward, shooting his eyes around making sure no one else was around to see this. 

“Is Peter gonna be ok…? I mean really ok?”

“Of course, he is. I said I would take care of it and I did, like I always do. Now be quiet and let me take care of your dumb ass. Come on, lets get ya to bed so you can sober up.”

“I don’t wanna sober up…I don’t want to deal with those emotions again…I don’t like them…” he sobbed into Yondu’s shoulder making him groan. He patted the kids head gently, he felt for Kraglin, he really did but he didn’t know how to express that in a way that wouldn’t make Kraglin feel worse.

“Just hold yer head up and pretend ya don’t feel ‘em, boyo,” he said in a voice he hoped was inspirational, “And when ya can’t ignore ‘em, work through ‘em until ya can’t feel ‘em no more.”

Stakar had always given him that advice and it had always worked for him but Kraglin wasn’t him. He had chosen soft and gentle and trusting kids. Ones with wide eyes that didn’t hide their pain, he chose delicate kids. He chose kids who were the exact opposite of him to keep and train and protect. He didn’t know how to handle them and knew he was already failing them.

“He’s so little…” he sobbed out not really listening to Yondu and only listening to his own buzzing thoughts, “And they did that to him, Cap’n! Ya won’t let him be hurt no more will ya?”

Yondu stared down at Kraglin sobbing against him and sighed, a deep sense of pity traveling through him.

“Nothin’ bad will happen to either of you, Krags.”

And he meant it. No matter how annoying these two would be, he wasn’t gonna just kick them away for not meeting expectations. He would be better at one thing then Stakar and that was learning from his mistakes and not just tossing kids he vowed to protect to the side.

Kraglin was too emotionally distressed to walk all the way back to the cabin on his own so he carried him. He fell asleep in his arms half way there but he still refused to let go of him.

Tak gave him a smug smile as he kicked off his boots and forced Kraglin under the covers, just for the night. He would make certain there were better arrangements the following night.

Tak smiled brighter and patted him on the shoulder on the way out and welcomed him to parenthood. Yondu sneered his way and gave him a rude gesture.

They were his wards, that did not make him their daddy and he wasn’t gonna baby the little bastards. He showed them mercy and leniency because they were children and he wasn’t a complete monster, that did not equate to him being their daddy.

\---

I wanted this, Yondu reminded himself firmly pushing a drunk Kraglin out of his face and back onto his own side of the bed.

He could be sleeping comfortable but no he had to keep the damn babies he scowled adjusting his bandaged hand away from Quill’s mouth not wanting him trying anything funny in the middle of the night.

He didn’t get an ounce of sleep that night, he learned quickly Kraglin liked to mumble in his sleep and was now babbling to him about people he found attractive. Peter still drugged out of his little skull would whimper and cry like a kicked puppy until Yondu ran his fingers just right in his hair making him cuddle closer to him and call him ‘ma’.

This was the price he thought bitterly, this was the price of having a heart.


	19. The Past (Part Six)

The months, then year of abuse and hospital visits and pitying stares all seemed to melt together in Peter’s mind.

It was all a blur, the memories would just hit Peter and the feelings they brought would sometimes be the only reminder they did happen.

Memories of the abuse, would strike him at odd times through out his life, jumping out at him when he least expected them reminding him it was all too real and yes, it had happened. They had a more consistent pattern, though, and only struck hard when someone’s touch or smell or feeling of entrapment was too familiar.

The hospital memories were like snakes in the grass, they were unexpected and weren’t just brief moments of pain he felt he had to relive but felt left a self-loathing deep in his core for days or weeks after he remembered. Those beeping machines, the tubes, weak eyes looking to him with such compassion and fear. His mother slowly dying on him.

Johnny disappeared on him, he couldn’t remember when, so distracted by going in and out of the hospital.

The abuse stopped but the pain didn’t go. Each day he would have to live with a new pain: his mother was dying and there was nothing he could do.

He was a helpless stupid child and there was nothing he could do.

One memory always stood out, it never left him. It stayed in him festering making him sick.

It was on the dawn of his eighth birthday when he realized he hated his biological dad and somewhere inside of him almost wanted him to die.

\--

It dawned on Peter when he got up that morning that it was his birthday but he couldn’t find the strength to care.

He wanted to care, he wanted to run down stairs and demand his grandfather make him breakfast but his grandfather was still mad at him for getting in that fight at school. He couldn’t help it that the teacher had to keep separating him and Bobby in class. Maybe if Bobby would leave him alone and stop constantly asking him if his mom was dead yet in that casual way he did, maybe Peter wouldn’t lash out and disrupt the class by yelling for him to fuck off.

He couldn’t take going there anymore and being surrounded by kids who wanted nothing to do with him. Having to deal with teachers getting in his space all the time and making his skin crawl when they touched him and made him just want to disappear when they gave him those sickeningly sympathetic speeches about being here for him. He just wanted to be left alone! Why didn’t any of them get that?!

His grandfather mentioned his failures more than the fact Peter was eight today as he cleaned up the mess Peter had left last night while his grandfather left him alone, to go to work or whatever he did.

Peter made himself cereal, chewing it slowly grinding his grandfather’s last nerve when he deliberately made himself off schedule. His grandfather practically begged him to be good today as he kissed him on the cheek and handed him his lunch plus a few extra dollars just in case it wasn’t enough. He pulled Peter close making him feel a strong sense of guilt replace his waning anger and asked him to please just eat more, he didn’t like how skinny he was getting. It wasn’t natural for a kid his age. Peter smiled but said nothing, a lot of things he had done weren’t natural for a kid his age.

He didn’t go to school that day, he just couldn’t. He felt like a failure. He wanted to find Johnny and demand where the money he earned was. Peter humiliated himself, he didn’t do anything. He didn’t deserve it. Johnny didn’t have to live with the nightmares and fears and doubts, he did. Even if the money couldn’t save mom at this point, even it was too late, he still wanted the money. He earned it, not Johnny. He didn’t know what he would use it for, maybe he would give it to someone in need or maybe he would run away with it or maybe he would just bury it but it was his to do what he wanted with and he just didn’t want that asshole Johnny to have it.

He rode his bike down an old dirt road and parked it by a tree and just climbed up it. No one came this way, the road was too bumpy and most people just threw their garbage here. He heard teenagers liked to come this way and do whatever teenagers did but it was too early for teenagers to come this way.

He sat staring off into nothing for a little while before he grew restless and just needed to go somewhere else. He kept far away from main roads or any shops, news probably got out he ditched school by now and his grandfather was probably hunting his ass down.

It was a sunny spring day and the weather was just right to do anything but go to school. He just didn’t care anymore. He found he couldn’t care about many things anymore and that made him confused. He felt like a chunk of him was just ripped out and would be buried along side Ma soon enough.

He had no clue where he was going, he just kept going. He passed the Dairy Queen and considered stopping but didn’t want to be caught so soon, so he swerved down into the large forest area surrounding it. Following the brook for a while before turning around a tree and heading into the heart of the forest, eyes scanning the trees wondering which he should climb up.

He wanted to see mom. He wanted to go sit by her and help her finish her sweater so she wouldn’t have to be so cold. He wanted to just lie with her maybe go with her when she got to leave the hospital. 

When she found freedom away from this town and she would leave him alone. Alone without anyone who understood him. With the kids who told him his love and passion for space were dumb. The teachers who told him he wouldn’t make it to space with his grades and lamented how a genius like Meredith Quill had a kid so dumb when they didn’t think he was around. He hated this town and everyone in it and just wanted to leave.

Tears were blinding his field of vision making him run over a broken bottle he hadn’t noticed, popping his tire. He fell on the ground with a large thud and just curled into himself sobbing. He didn’t want to be without mom, he had no one else. Once they all found out what he did they would all hate him and say bad things about him like they did Suzy, the teenage girl down the road who was pregnant. They would say it was mom’s fault. She wouldn’t be remembered fondly, she would just be that woman who couldn’t control her damn child. She wouldn’t be the smartest woman in town who was kind and always helped anyway fix their appliances when they were broke. Who went out of her way to help the community, the woman who loved trying to fix what was broke. She would be the crazy woman who talked about her spaceman and had that bastard son who was a whore.

His sobbing was loud, haunting the once peaceful forest, disturbing enough birds to make them fly away. Leaving him alone and broken, just as broken and useless as the fallen branches around him.

He felt an intense pain on his right arm and glanced over to find his arm was bleeding. It had smashed into some of the broken glass on the ground. It had dug in deep in his forearm, he winced hard and choked out a louder sob yanking the glass out. It began bleeding faster after that but he didn’t have the energy to care, he just stared at the blood watching it splash against the ground. It hurt but he had been through worse he thought sadly, digging a bandana out of his bag. He looked sadly at it seeing his favorite ninja turtle, Michelangelo smile at him. He liked this one a lot and didn’t want to ruin it with blood. Ma had gave it to him last time he went to the hospital, she had one of the nicer nurses buy it for her.

He needed to stop the blood though. He pressed the bandana hard against his wound and found it hurt more when Michelangelo’s smiling face became stained by blood then the act of tightening it around the wound till he got help for it.

He choked on one of his sobs. Stop crying, he demanded of himself wiping snot onto his plaid shirt. He slowly sat up, just staring at the tree lines, frowning seeing a light blue transparent light wafting through the air like a fog.

He just stared at it, frowning wondering what it was but every part of him tensed hearing a whispered ‘Peter’ float through the air. He shot his head around and grew confused not seeing anyone. He rose from the ground, stumbling a bit realizing he must have bruised his leg up when he hit the ground like he had. He looked up to the forest’s canopy, the afternoon sun hiding behind it before turning side to side not seeing anyone but still that ghostly whisper kept calling his name.

Something told him not to follow the voice but it had a grip on him, he felt his heart pulse erratically as if something was squeezing it.

Peter…

…Peter…

The voice was getting louder, it was a man’s voice, he had never heard this voice before but it felt familiar so he kept following it.

Nothing felt real, everything had a dream like experience to it. Peter looked up and saw a trail of fire flies, that couldn’t be right. It was in the middle of the afternoon, Peter’s heart dropped realizing they weren’t the right color to be fire flies. They were blue and practically pulling him closer to the man whispering his name. A fear filled Peter as he stopped in front of the flower his mother had shown him, the connection to his father and all at once that fear turned into anger.

“Don’t talk to me!” he yelled at the flower, “You have no right! You weren’t here! You didn’t stop any of this!! Just go back to wherever you came from like the coward you are!!” 

Peter…

Peter bit deep into his lip, harder and harder until it began to bleed. Tears fresh again, he felt the anger just hold tight onto his heart. He couldn’t explain it but he hated this man. Flower. Whatever.

He picked up a rock and threw it at the flower, crying harder as his weak throw didn’t even manage to get close to the flower, just sorta fell beside it.

He fell to the ground in exhaustion, hating this town, hating his situation, and hating this flower. Each intense emotion making something pulse inside him, making him squirm seeing the flower glowing brighter.

He didn’t like this feeling. It felt like someone was forcing their way into him. It was violating and it hurt so much, he fell to the ground sodding. He didn’t like this feeling, he begged out loud for it to stop. Just stop. He didn’t like this…

Briefly he saw his right arm glow that eerie blue and he couldn’t take it anymore. He shot up and ran.

Just kept running, getting lost in the maze of trees on his mad dash to just get away from the flower.

Somewhere far, far away from Peter running as far as he could from his father’s flower, vowing to never return to it, his father felt a jolt. Just as he was about to give up hope, one of his children had been able to connect to his fragmented core.

While his one last hope vowed he never wanted to be near his father and used by another man, his father was vowing to himself he would do anything to have his final child.

\---

It was pitch black by the time he reached the hospital, shaking and exhausted. He just wanted his mother. He didn’t want to see anyone else. He didn’t want to listen to his grandfather scold him and remind him what an awful child he was, he just wanted his mom.

He didn’t go through the front entrance, instead he found the back way. He had found out early on in his mom’s stay at this horrible place that one of the nurses was a heavy smoker. He saw her in her usual spot, leaning against the wall by the dumpster, not paying any attention to him, listening to one of her self-help tapes on her Walkman (mom liked to gossip about this nurse, real peace of work) taking slow puffs of her cigarette not paying any attention to the runaway creeping through the door she had kept open. 

It was empty in here tonight as it was most nights and Peter knew he should consider that a good thing but it still felt creepy to him and made shivers creep up his spine.

He knew where mom’s room was and it was too easy to get there.

The door was open, he peaked inside to find mom up and it looked like she had been crying. She was staring out the window, the sweater they had been making together tight in her hands. He couldn’t stand that sad look on her face so he didn’t waste much time coming in.

“Ma…?”

Her head shot towards him in an instant and her arms desperately reached for him even if she no longer had the strength to leave her (death) bed.

“My baby…oh my precious Star Lord…” she croaked tears falling, “They told me ya had gone missing and I was so worried I would never see my baby again…”

He raced to her side letting her wrap her gaunt, clammy arms around him and he climbed into bed with her at her desperate request.

“This is why I can’t leave ya with him…” she sobbed pulling him tighter, “Ya need yer daddy. He will protect ya…oh my poor baby, when they couldn’t find ya, I was so worried. Anything could have happened to ya and they made excuses instead of just finding my baby…”

She gasped taking in how dirty he was, running her thin fingers over the dried blood around his mouth. She pulled him tight, her heart monitor going off the charts, the tubes and catheter threatening to pop out. When the nurse came and tried to separate them, Ma swatted fiercely at her.

“Don’t…take my son from me…just let me hold him. Something happened to my baby because you all can’t take care of him! Look at him! Something happened to my son!”

“Meredith please calm down, I will see to him—”

“Shut up!” she howled making Peter become stiff against her. He did this, he got his mom worked up like this when she wasn’t ok, he was making it worse. He was sobbing again and just making it all worse.

“Look at my baby’s arm! There is blood! Do something about that, now!”

Slowly the nurse unwound the bandana and Peter took a peak at it as well. To all of their surprise, the wound was magically gone. There was nothing there except the dried blood. Peter couldn’t take his eyes off it, the injury was too deep for it to have just healed like that. That wasn’t right. Nothing about this was right.

He was shaking and crying harder then ever now. This wasn’t right. He was scared and he couldn’t even explain his fear to his panicking mother or his enraged grandfather who showed up the next morning.

He kept it to himself knowing his mother would think it was a good thing and his grandfather would be more frustrated about him telling stories instead of telling them where the hell he had been.

It didn’t feel right. He ran his fingers across his forearm and stared at the bloody bandana he had managed to steal back from the nurse.

He felt anger swelling deep inside him staring at the bloody bandana and his healed arm. He remembered mom dying slowly and painfully. He remembered all the painful things he had been through, had been tricked to do, in an attempt to save her.

He tossed the bandana in the trash. His father was nothing more than garbage, he could help them but chose not to.


	20. Two Steps Back

Everything was heavy, like someone piled lead on top of him and tossed him into the abyss. He groaned but no one seemed to hear him for he got no answer. He tried shifting his body but dread settled in him as felt what he had thought were weights piled on his stomach shift with him. He groaned louder in protest, not able to find words to completely express his discomfort. His groans turned to whimpers as they fell on deaf ears and he finally made out the other noises in the room.

Snoring.

He was beginning to panic, he didn’t know where he was and everything just hurt and it was hard to move.

He finally managed to roll over, away from the arm and soon found himself toppling over the bed. He hit the ground hard, shaking every part of him and making him moan loudly, instantly regretting that choice as a hand was instantly on him.

“Great,” someone hissed above him the bulking silhouette rising from the bed making Peter cower a little, “Little shit is up early.”

Everything was spinning, like he was stuck in a tidal wave and nothing made sense. He felt a hand reach for him and he rolled underneath the bed, making the large man above him curse, jostling someone else up from the bed and making them groan out ‘What?’.

“Damn kid is under the damn bed again, go back to sleep, yer still drunk, yer no help.”

There was a groan and the bed shifted again.

“I’m kinda sober, I can help ya, Cap’n.” 

“Sleep, Kraglin,” it was a very stern answer that wouldn’t be argued with. Peter began to groggily recall the voices. Kraglin was…young and nice and gentle. The captain was…the opposite. Old, stupid and mean but he had thought he was harmless. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath trying to completely remember what was going on. He blocked out the captain’s very rude commands he do as he said and come out, trying to remember what had happened before he passed out.

He frowned touching his sleeve, this definitely wasn’t what he was wearing before everything went black. It was thicker and weighed his arms down and he realized with a shock he wasn’t wearing any pants and he had no idea where his shoes or socks were. He bunched up the fabric and felt he should be relieved he was wearing underwear but he doubted they were the same pair making that sick feeling in his gut grow. 

He doesn’t have much time to ponder these things before a hand securely wraps around his midsection and is pulling him out from his hiding spot.

Panic is slowly rising in him, he doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like being forced and shoved around like he’s not even human, he doesn’t care who this blue Marvin the Martian wannabe thinks he is. He begins squirming hard making the man hiss at him and threaten to severely harm him if he thinks of biting him again.

Peter does not remember doing that and that only makes him panic more.

He’s yanked out hard when he tires himself and tries to take a breather from his fighting.

“Are ya tired yet?” the captain mocks shoving him onto the bed and leaning down where they are face to face, grabbing his chin.

“I am only gonna say this once: I am not fighting with you. Do not make me keep you drugged. Slide over by Kraglin and go back to sleep. We’ll all have a nice long talk in the morning.”

Peter was already crying, curling into himself, he had no idea what the hell was going on and this man just expected him to sleep in the same bed as him?!

“Come ‘ere little man,” he heard Kraglin mumble to him moving over more for him to scoot closer to him but he didn’t budge. He made it very clear he did not want to be in this situation.

He felt dizzy and confused and tad bit betrayed by Kraglin. He almost thought maybe he could trust him but then he let them drug him and do god only knew what while he was out…maybe helped them do that.

Everything comes with a price, he firmly reminded himself. The only person who never asked for anything in return for kindness was his mother and he was never going to see her again.

He was crying again.

Someone was saying something but he couldn’t hear them over the buzz of his ears or the sobs that got louder.

His newly implanted translator did not pick up on all the swears that exited the captain’s mouth as he began to vomit all over his bed but he knew just by the tone whatever they meant they were directed at him and meant he was not going to be hearing the end of this for a very long time.

Still hissing curses, Yondu grabbed Peter off his bed and shoved him into the chair by his desk, snapping at Kraglin to go get something to clean the mess up. Kraglin stumbled a little on his way out the door but he didn’t question his captain’s orders.

While Yondu stripped the bed off the sheets, blankets and furs Peter had barfed all over, mumbling more curses he would come to regret saying near little ears that would use them against him one day; Peter slipped from the chair and rolled under the desk, curling into himself.

He shoved his hand over his ears as he began to shake, he didn’t like not knowing what had happened or what would happen to him again in the future.

He just couldn’t catch a break.

It was just simply a fact now, there was always going to be someone bigger and smarter then him, they would act nice, they might not directly hurt him but he would never know what they wanted him for.

He was always going to be a scared child not knowing the outcome of tomorrow and that filled him with more dread then the captain’s hissed promises of beating the damn kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there guys, almost there. Just a few more chapters left to go. I hope to finish really soon and then start on the next two sequels. A mini five chapter fic and a larger fic.


	21. Tired

Kraglin had woken up that morning to Yondu and Peter yelling at each other, both making his head pound harder. It had been a rough night and was already looking to be a rough morning.

“I don’t want to talk to you about anything!” Peter was on the verge of tears in his new hiding spot under the desk.

“Well ya are! This is my ship and yer my ---”

“I’m not your anything! I don’t even know you! You just kidnapped me!”

“I thought ya wanted to be a ravager ya ungrateful little---”

“I don’t want to be anything of yours! Just go away and leave me alone, you big stupid smurf!” Peter yelled pressing his hands against his ears and Kraglin tensed fearing another melt down. 

Yondu rose turning away from the child, fists clenching and unclenching in attempting to calm down, taking deep breaths through his nostrils. Kraglin had seen the captain get mad in the past, real mad like this and it usually ended with someone bleeding. Peter Quill was a lucky little boy, if anyone else had yelled that at this man, they would be severely punished. 

“Take care of this,” he hissed at Kraglin, “Tak will be here soon, we’ll talk about this later.”

Kraglin nodded and turned towards the desk as Yondu stormed out.

He didn’t really know what to say to the boy, so he didn’t say anything, sitting down at the chair by the desk. He didn’t know what to tell him to make him feel better because he was feeling like shit right now too not really knowing how to process any of this and with a nasty hangover to boot.

He felt like throwing up but he didn’t want to move either not wanting Peter to sneak out on him again and possibly get hurt in the mood he was in.

Peter didn’t acknowledge him and that hurt a little, he wanted to comfort him but he just didn’t think he should until he calmed down. 

“Peter?” he asked softly but wasn’t surprised he got no answer in return, it seemed Peter wasn’t ready to talk yet and that was ok for Kraglin. He didn’t really want to talk right now either. He didn’t want to think about why Peter was upset or what those monsters did to him to make him angry at them or about his siblings, all dead and gone, the only thing left of them a pile of cloths. 

“I know yer mad and I think that’s ok,” Kraglin said after a few minutes, “What happened weren’t ok…what those Terrans did ta ya…and I know yer afraid we did that too…but we wouldn’t Pete…we’re not monsters…”

Peter just curled tighter against himself, his sobs growing louder. If he said anything, Kraglin couldn’t make it out. It was just wounded and betrayed and confused grunts and whimpers and sobs to him. He sat there, feeling useless thinking about Peter’s siblings, the ones who came before him.

Were they scared? Did they beg Yondu to let them go home? He looked back down at Peter and wondered how many children did the captain have to watch cry.

Tulk had said the captain couldn’t handle anymore baby blood on his hands, did he watch them die?

A sick feeling settled in his stomach at that thought, the captain wouldn’t have done that, his hands weren’t clean, but he wouldn’t harm kids. No man with honor would do that to the weak who couldn’t protect themselves.

His thoughts were interrupted by Tak letting himself in. He had deep bags under his eyes, he had a rough night too it seemed.

They didn’t greet each other, they didn’t normally and it didn’t seem like that would start now. Kraglin felt a little relieved to know he wouldn’t be scrubbing dumped booze or vomit from the med room floor now, that was his most hated task. No one could bitch at him about nothing while he completed a task like this man when he was drinking.

Tak and Kraglin’s eyes met briefly and to Kraglin’s surprise Tak gave him a smile and patted his arm before gently scooting his chair back and crouching on the floor to get a better view of Peter.

“Hello Peter,” Tak said gently but didn’t make an attempt to force Peter to look at him or respond when he didn’t answer him, still curled into himself crying. 

“I’m not gonna hurt you, I am a doctor,” he began pausing after that and raising his head up towards the ceiling.

Kraglin couldn’t help the smile, Tak, the know it all bastard he was, didn’t know what to say. He was too used to yelling at the crew to stop being fucking crybabies and piss off until they had a real problem, he didn’t know how to act like a real doctor. Someone who was gentle and kind and had a deep sense of patience to hear their patients out and really help them heal. 

Not too long ago, Kraglin remembered having to haul one of the crew members down to him after a bad fight had left him with a gaping hole in his arm. The entire way down, he hissed threats at Kraglin for not being gentle enough and kept going on about how he would make that bastard who stabbed him wish he weren’t born when he got done with them but the moment he saw Tak and his signature scowl, he instantly became quiet.

That was who Tak was, someone who didn’t put up with anyone’s shit and was dirty enough to carry around poison to make anyone on board the Elector fear him and keep on their best behavior, so they never had to go down to him and get under his ire by asking for help. 

The smile he wore made him a stranger and the patient way he just squatted in front of Peter, not demanding anything of him just made it all the more surreal.

“I am here because the blue idiot, who I am sure you know well, is too stupid to take care of you properly. Peter, I do not want to do anything that would cause you harm, but I need to check you over and give you more vitamin and protein shots, you are getting malnourished not eating, kiddo.”

“Why do you care?” Peter moaned not even moving to look at Tak, “I just want to be left alone!”

“I know, sweat heart, I know,” Tak said with a sigh, “We all just want to be left alone but that isn’t always good for us.”

Peter said nothing and didn’t attempt to move, seemingly done talking with Tak as well, probably done with talking to anyone in general.

“Baby, I know you do not want me near you or touching you, but you are getting weak. Your body is keeping up the best it can with this abuse you’re doing to it, but it won’t last forever. You can either accept my help now or wait until you are too weak to stop me from doing it anyway, either way, you are not dying on me.”

Kraglin had never seen Tak look so vulnerable, he looked just as broken and sad as Peter was and Kraglin had never thought of him like that.

He was Stakar’s former right-hand man, rumored to have brought Stakar himself back to life after a botched mission resulting in a fatal wound that would have left anyone else dead but Tak had brought him back.

This was the man rumored to have stopped an attempted mutiny by dumping poison into the ships booze, killing any not loyal to Stakar before the night had ended. 

This man, who spent most of his time in his office drinking and making sure everyone aboard the Elector knew he was unhappy.

This was the same man, hunched over, looking so old and broken and just sad. There was no other way Kraglin could describe the emotion he carried right now. 

“I don’t want to die,” Peter admitted softly choking on a small sob, sitting up rubbing his eyes hard with his thick shirt.

Tak brought the smile back to his face as he moved back so Peter could come out on his own.

“That’s a very brave choice,” Tak commented offering Peter his hand but he refused it so he let it go, “It’s not always the easiest one to take.” 

Peter crawled out from his spot and sat on the bed like Tak instructed, no longer fighting like he had been with Yondu earlier.

“Do you have anything you want to talk to me about? Any unusual pains or aches?”

Peter shook his head and Tak smiled at him, he was cooperating, so far so good. 

The check up went a little too well for Kraglin’s taste, it felt a little like Peter was giving up just letting a stranger have his way but then again, maybe Peter was smarter then that. He didn’t want to die and didn’t want to be touched without permission, so this was just an easy middle ground.

He flinched a little when he was given his shots but other then that, didn’t react. Just watched Tak, eyes never leaving him, following his every move as he proceeded with his check up.

“What did you do to me?” Peter whispered and Kraglin cringed, it was not going to go as smoothly as he almost hoped it was going to. 

“You had a small panic attack and the blue idiot had to drug you to calm down,” Tak said gently already motioning his head for Kraglin to come closer in case Peter freaked out again. 

“My cloths…”

“Are in the wash, you can have them back at any time,” he said an uncertantity in his eyes as he tried to keep up with this conversation.

“Peter,” Tak said firmly braving to touch the boy and Kraglin flinched along with Peter as Tak’s hand touched his shoulder.

“Peter,” he repeated when Peter began to withdraw again pulling away from the man’s touch and pulling his knees close to him.

“No one is going to harm you like that here, ravagers live by a very strict code to not harm kids. What happened to you wasn’t ok and if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable like that, it will not be tolerated here. You say the word and I will make them suffer myself. You are safe here.”

“Why do you even want me then?” he hissed out through another sob, burying his head into his knees, “Why pick me up at all?”

Tak looked at Kraglin, begging him, the cabin boy, to say something and get Peter to stop crying like that. In that helpless way that would tear anyone’s heart out. Kraglin just stared back at him, giving him a look of disbelief, what did he want him to say. Maybe he should stop talking, Peter had been good so far, just leave him alone for awhile.

“Peter, I know it’s hard, picked up by strangers and taken away from your home planet. Maybe one day you can return---”

“I don’t ever want to go back to Earth,” Peter said turning his blood shot eyes towards Tak, fiercely wiping at his face again before turning away from both of them to face the wall, “Blow it up for all I care.” 

“Tempting offer, kid but if I’m not getting paid for it, I genuinely try not to go out of my way to do something that would make the Nova Corp hunt me down,” Tak smirked shrugging at the boy.

It was clear Peter didn’t want to talk to him anymore, so he sighed and collected his things, calling it quits for today.

“Kraglin, I’ll be sending one of the good for nothings down shortly with food, I am putting him on a special diet to help him gain some nutrients and hopefully put more weight on. Terrans truly are primitive to let their own children go on this long this way.” 

He looked sadly at Peter before sighing softly, seeming to be struggling to decide whether he wanted to address the kid again who didn’t seem to want to be bothered.

In the end, he said nothing to him and told Kraglin to call him if anything went wrong and he needed assistance.

Kraglin just couldn’t find it in him to bother Peter, he felt a deep sense of guilt that he had pushed him back. He was getting a little better until he had let him out and let the ravagers scare him and now he was scared and filled with doubt about whether they would harm him or not again.

Right on time, there food was delivered and wordlessly Kraglin took the tray and slammed the door in a hung over Tulk’s face, who was already scowling before his face disappeared behind metal. He just threw it on the table, not having the strength himself to eat.

He slumped back against his chair and smiled feeling something in his pocket, he did have something that would make him feel better he realized.

He moved onto the bed and moved closer to Peter and tapped his shoulder. Peter’s red rimmed eyes moved towards him annoyed but lightened seeing his doll dangling in front of him.

He instantly grabbed her and pulled her close to him whispering, “Lily.”

“Yer music thingy is being looked at right now too,” Kraglin began awkwardly looking at Peter who was giving him hesitant glances over his shoulder.

“Those batteries were no good, so Captain had them replaced with something stronger. It should be done soon.”

“Its called a Walkman,” Peter grumbled turning his full frown on Kraglin, “Not a music thingy. For all your talk about how primitive I am, how do you listen to music?”

Kraglin laughed at him, not a full-hearted laugh but he was beginning to relax just talking to the kid.

“I store music on my data pad and not on easily breakable square things,” he shrugged making Peter’s head shoot towards him, “Ya know like any sane life form would.”

Peter surprised Kraglin when he crawled closer to him and stared at him with his big green eyes, his hair falling everywhere on his face.

“Can I see?”

“Um…sure…” Kraglin said awkwardly digging into his jacket pocket for the small flat disc and making Peter’s eyes turn impossibly wide as he turned it on and the holographic screen popped out.

Peter was staring at the orange glowing screen with a wonder Kraglin never really expected from anyone looking at something as common as a data pad. Most complained that Kraglin’s was out of date and he made himself look bad swiping the easier to grab out dated one then taking the time to steal a fancier model. 

“I haven’t like updated it in a while, so I only have like I don’t know…fifty songs…”

Peter’s jaw was barely hanging on with that number and he was reaching over to yank it from Kraglin who laughed swatting his hand away. 

“Yer gonna break it!” he scolded sticking his tongue at Peter, “Ya don’t even know how to read Xandarian, you won’t know what yer looking for.”

He pressed play and Peter made a face at the music that came out.

“That sounds awful!”

“To Terran Ears!” Kraglin hissed, cheeks turning a deep shade of purple that made Peter touch them making him glow brighter.

“Does that hurt? They look like bruises…” he asked timidly touching his cheeks.

“No,” he said shrugging, “My not primitive body just has a different blood color then you I guess.” 

Peter hit the flashing arrow on Kraglin’s pad making him scowl at him but he didn’t move it from his reach and just let him keep hitting it until he found a song he liked.

“This one kinda sounds like my mom’s favorite band,” he whispered leaning closer to Kraglin, “But I don’t understand it.”

“Your translator just takes time to pick up everything,” Kraglin said gently practically melting against the wall, he was so tired. It had been a rough couple of days and it wasn’t over yet.

Peter didn’t say anything at first, seeming to let the thoughts ruminate in his head, finding just the right way to express them.

“Sometimes I think being on this ship isn’t real and when I wake up, I’ll have to go living without her and I’ll be alone…”

There were tears slowly falling from his eyes now.

“It feels like everything is just changing so fast and I can’t process any of it… I don’t know what’s going to happen or if it’s even real or if the bad things are over…I’m just so confused…”

He pressed himself against Kraglin, sobbing hard again and Kraglin found tears beginning to mist his own eyes.

“You don’t have to be alone, Peter,” he finally said running his fingers through his hair, “Being alone is something you shouldn’t have to face, its probably the scariest part of life.”

He closed his eyes remembering being alone in a sea of faces who were very indifferent towards the boy who came from a common whore. Just another drop in the bucket, more important things to deal with.

“And you aren’t gonna face it alone…cause ya got me and the captain and even that drunk Tak, I know you don’t understand why but all you need to know is you do and we aren’t gonna let anything happen ta ya.” 

Peter eventually cried himself to sleep listening to Kraglin’s ‘alien music’ (his words not Kraglin’s) and Kraglin had passed out sometime before that.

Yondu came back later that afternoon to piled up dishes from untouched food and two brats hogging his bed.

He scowled at the sight but left them be, better they be here then bothering him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to the end guys and I am so happy. 
> 
> I am sorry I don't answer back to every review but they all mean so much to me. Every single last one of them and I would not have got this far without them.


	22. Culture

The following days, Peter stayed close to Kraglin, not straying from his side for a moment. Ghosting behind him as he completed his daily chores.

Kraglin kept to more deserted routes, knowing this ship and all its routes and secret hidey-holes like the back of his hand after being here a year. Really, he should thank the crews anger problems for helping him find some of these routes to avoid running back into them until they cooled down.

Kraglin feared Peter would be afraid to go into the vents with him but much to his surprise it was harder getting him out of them then getting him into them.

He knew Peter tired easily, still healing and not eating as much as he should but hey a few bites for a piece of candy worked well for Kraglin even if Tak scowled at his methods.

Crawling out of the vent, he found himself carrying a dead on his feet Peter down one of the less used hallways, the one that had the broken pipe that could never be fixed properly leaving the floor gross and wet at all times. Kraglin scowled as he felt a large squish of water under his boots, it had busted more and left a little stream, lovely. He knew Tulk was gonna make him climb up there and tighten it later. Tulk was whiny and hated climbing up to these spots, so always, always gave his chores to the cabin boy.

It was better to carry Peter today it seemed anyway, he thought to himself, shifting Peter a little on his side to be in a more comfortable position.

“Ew…why is the floor wet?” Peter grumbled making a face and Kraglin returned it not liking the gross squish under his boots.

“The pipe needs to be replaced,” Kraglin explained pulling out his flash light and shining it up at the broken pipe, raining water down on the floor, as the lights went out again as they usually did on this side of the ship, “And the lights.”

“Why not just steal more parts if you’re pirates?”

“That ain’t how it works. The Elector is old, very old. It was a war ship at one time but that was a good hundred years ago. Parts are hard to come by, only get them in special places and that is money. Some things just aren’t worth fixing properly if they aren’t harming anything.”

“Why not steal a new ship?”

Kraglin chuckled rolling his eyes, “You are hopeless.”

Kraglin pulled Peter closer to him and pulled his large jacket over his head and ducked down under the spray of water to keep Peter dry, not wanting to risk him getting sick.

He made a face as some of the water hit his under shirt and he scowled vowing to wear only his jump suit from now on, it helped get him less wet but his oversized jacked did help keep Peter relatively dry so he would bear with it for now.

“Where are we going?” Peter asked taking the flashlight from him and pointing it ahead of them so Kraglin didn’t have to stretch his arm in such an angle to hold Peter (who really weighed nothing) and the light source.

“Down to the boiler,” Kraglin said ruffling his hair as thanks for his help, “I need to pick some stuff up. We may have to leave through the main corridor and deal with the crew on our way out. I didn’t expect this hall to be flooded.”

“I can walk,” Peter began, face flushing red but Kraglin firmly shook his head.

“The crew is dumb and do stupid shit in flooded hallways, I don’t want to risk you catching anything your dumb primitive body doesn’t recognize and get blamed for it.” 

Peter pouted his lips in annoyance but didn’t argue with the only person he liked on this stupid ship.

Kraglin stopped at the end of the stair way and Peter’s eyes widened seeing something run by Kraglin’s boot and Kraglin jumping a little attempting to squash whatever it was with his boot. Water splashes echoing around them, little splats hitting Peter’s pant leg making him wince at the cold and cling tighter to Kraglin.

“Fucking Orloni!!” he spat spitting at the water in disgust.

Before Peter could ask, he was hefting him onto a rickety metal ladder, Kraglin commanding him firmly to hold tight and keep going up. 

“Little vermin are everywhere,” he grumbled in annoyance, gently pushing Peter up more and Peter scampered up the ladder as quick as he could so Kraglin could get out of the filthy water.

“What I like about being up in the captain’s chamber now is you don’t see as many of them as you do in the crews sleeping quarters. Fucking Tulk always thought it was funny to stick them in bed with me when he was drunk.”

“Are they dangerous?” Peter almost whispered looking back at Kraglin. He lost his footing and would have dropped the short distance into the water if Kraglin didn’t catch him, holding him long enough to regain his footing and finish the short climb.

“Careful!” he hissed hopping up onto the new walkway beside Peter, he squatted down and had Peter grab onto his neck so he could piggy back carry him the rest of the way. Kraglin was worried, Peter knew, he always made him do this when he scared him with near falls.

“Orloni are the things ya keep trying to feed when ya think no one’s looking,” he grumbled.

Peter’s face lit up remembering the little rat like creature he saw hiding in the kooks and crannies of the ship, he first saw one a few days ago while watching Kraglin scrub the near deserted west wing and since then had been putting rolls in his pocket to try to give them. 

“I need to get a F’saki to get rid of half of them,” Kraglin grumbled kicking at one as it ran under his feet.

Peter didn’t know what that was, but he didn’t really want them to hurt the Orloni who weren’t hurting anyone and voiced his thoughts making Kraglin scowl.

“Baby boy, I’ll tell you what, I’ll put one of them vermin next to ya while ya sleep and ya tell me if you still want them around after it bites ya.”

Peter made a face and Kraglin laughed almost sensing it.

“It ain’t a pretty sight waking up with the critters who want your blood, so remember that next time ya feed them.”

Peter said nothing and tightened his arms around Kraglin, burying his head into his shoulder and letting a shiver pass through his spine.

Kraglin mentally kicked himself and bit down on his annoyed sigh meant for his damn mouth, he clung a little tighter to Peter’s legs and whispered an apology that wasn’t responded to. It was always one step forward and three steps back with Peter and Kraglin hated Terra for that.

Peter was right, it could blow up for all Kraglin cared, in fact he would feel a little relieved knowing the people who had harmed this poor kid would be dead. 

He said nothing more until they got to the boiler room. He gently squatted and let Peter stand on his own beside him. Peter was wonder eyed as ever, staring at the large metal door next to the flickering light with amusement.

“I once saw a movie where someone lived behind a door like this and he killed anyone who came to him with a chainsaw and hung their body parts up like freshly cut meat.”

“Yeah? Yer folk let ya watch stuff like that or is this a dirty little secret?”

“Ma wasn’t happy about it but Johnny…”

He stopped talking after that, taking Kraglin’s hand and almost impatiently wanting to yank him in the door. He wouldn’t say nothin’ but he had a good idea this Johnny was scarier to Peter then any cannibal.

The room was small with only the large glowing furnace giving much needed heat in the cold ship. It almost appeared no one in there but Kraglin knew better. Kraglin gently put his arm in front of Peter to keep him from getting too close to the furnace, glowing brightly, a rainbow of bright colors. It was breathtaking, all ravager ships had custom made furnaces to glow like nebula storms, warming their halls and reminding them when they died they could take their place among the stars they admired so much. It was the ship’s heart and soul. Kraglin remembered Yondu proudly showing him it not too long ago and he felt maybe showing it to Peter would make him feel better about being on the ship. It was cold and hard and could be cruel but at its heart it was something of beauty.

On the upper deck they had another furnace just like this one, but it wasn’t turned on unless they were going to be giving someone a ravager funeral. In all the time Kraglin had been here, he had never experienced one. Most of the dead were just tossed into space, the captain said they didn’t earn the right to be burned in the rainbow flames and scattered among the stars.

“How does it do that?” Peter whispered.

“Ravager secret, maybe when your older someone will tell ya.”

“That just means yer not old enough to be told yet, huh?”

Kraglin made a face at that comment but didn’t respond instead calling out into the seemingly empty room.

Peter screamed and Kraglin instinctively grabbed him, pulling him into his arms as a thud hit the ground on the other side of the furnace.

“Nut, do you always have to enter the room like this?” Kraglin groaned, setting Peter down beside him, “Yer gonna give the damn kid a heart attack!”

Kraglin put his finger up and gave Peter a very stern face indicating he wanted him to stay as an arm poked out and waved him over.

Peter pouted a little but did as he was asked to. Kraglin came back to him not too long after, a large proud smile on his face, holding something behind his back. Peter tilted his head trying to see what it was and when Kraglin brought it out Peter nearly burst into tears.

It was his Walkman, it felt like it had been so long since he had seen it, he practically yanked it from Kraglin’s hands.

“Nut got done with it this morning and I wanted to get it from him before he went on his long shift in the engine room.”

Peter said nothing latching onto Kraglin, thanking him, tears slowly falling from his eyes.

After a moment he wiggled free from Kraglin and yelled a loud echoing thank you to the person who had fixed his Walkman. No one came out but the arm that had waved Kraglin over came out again and waved to him.

“Nut keeps to himself like that,” Kraglin said scooping Peter back into his arms, “You’ll meet him before long.”

Not yet though, Kraglin didn’t want the kid to get too scared and have a relapse. Let him get used to everything gradually. Knowing Nut fixed his Walkman would only be in his favor when they did finally get a proper introduction. 

Kraglin waited for the alarm to walk back up the main hallway, heading up to the captain’s quarters where their own lunch would be.

He knew Peter would eventually have to get used to the strange creatures and assholes around him but for once Kraglin agreed with Tak, he needed to get introduced to it all slowly and process it before being thrown into something new again. Let him get used to just this routine before being tossed into something new.

\---

Down in the med bay, away from the rest of the crew, Tak glared his captain down. Yondu almost regretted forcing sobriety onto to the man finding himself once more under his scrutiny. 

“You are not leaving,” Tak hissed jamming his finger firmly into his chest, “You are not walking away from me this god damn time and leaving me in the dark. I want to know what the hell is going on, right fucking now.”

“You may have been able to demand things from Stakar and he would just bow to your demands,” Yondu snarled his own glare challenging the older man’s, “But this is my ship. I am in control here.”

“For how long?” Tak challenged shoving Yondu into a chair, “Those lowlifes you keep picking up don’t respect you, they fear you but for how long? God damn it Yondu, you do not do this to me. You do not bring another child aboard this ship and then run gambits like this. I can not take another child’s death. I am not cleaning up your messes anymore, Udonta, you are going to sit where you are at and you are going to beg for my loyalty. You tell me right this instant what your game is.”

“Its nothing but dead planets here, I don’t see why you are ---”

Tak’s glare cut him off, “Do you just think I am getting senile because of my age? My drinking problem did not take away my ability to remember exactly what this used to be. This wasn’t always just ‘another dead zone’ this was once the Centauri system.”

He moved towards his window and slammed his finger against the glass.

“That planet we are orbiting by was once Centauri – IV.”

“And?” Yondu sneered making Tak bite down hard on his bottom lip and his face turn a deep purple as his anger began to rise.

“Are you really that stupid to not see what I am getting at?” Tak hissed pinching the bridge of his nose, “Peter is eight and he understands trauma more then you do.”

Yondu shook his head and snorted at the older man as he dramatically collapsed in the chair on the other side of the desk.

“You act as if I’m here to honor my people and cry or some shit,” Yondu grunted plopping his feet on the desk making Tak scowl seeing the captain’s dirty boots on the papers he had been using to record what he knew about Terrans.

“Well, explain to me why we are here. This is a bad place for children to be. Not all the Badoon died or left when the war was over you know. Those reptile bastards are still there in my opinion, underground, hiding out.”

“And quite frankly, it’s a bad place for you to be,” he sneered at Yondu shaking his head.

“And here I thought ya hated me,” Yondu said with mock sincerity, placing his hand on his chest making Tak bristle more.

“I can hate someone and feel enough self-preservation to know if you go down, I’m likely to go down with you. Not to mention the children, they don’t deserve to be here. They don’t need to see the aftermath of war.”

“ ‘Self-preservation’,” Yondu spat out like the word disgusted him, “That’s a funny way of saying drinking yourself to death and trying to provoke enough of these idiots to kill you off with that mouth of yers.” 

Tak’s glower somehow deepened at that.

“How dare you talk to me that way?”

Yondu’s teeth were beginning to grind, here we go, he thought, here it comes, the speech. That one he had been sprouting for over 30 years, each year adding in some new reason Yondu should be grateful to him.

“Me, who always tended your wounds. Me, who hid all your mistakes from Stakar to keep you out of trouble. Me, who has remained loyal, even after you got me banished from my family and my home next to Stakar. I didn’t have to hide those children from him, but I did. I didn’t need to stay by your side after you put baby blood on my hands, but I did. You are an ungrateful, prideful man! You barely even think of your own best interest, never the less the people you drag into your messes. You just expect us to shut up and just be happy to go dive into your next mistake!”

Yondu had heard this all so many times, he had honestly thought it was just the booze talking but no, this was just who Tak was. He was lucky he needed him, Peter needed him, or the arrow would have already ended his miserable existence.

“Ye don’t have to like it,” he said firmly, “It seems ye don’t like anything, so maybe I shouldn’t be too surprised by that.”

“But ye aren’t understanding we have a very angry celestial hunting us down right now, by now he must know we ain’t delivering. We can’t go to our usual safe haunts. We need to be very careful about our moves until things have calmed down.”

“Oh, please, do explain how this is the smartest move then. I would love to hear your logic.”

Yondu groaned loudly, purposely digging the heels of his boots into the older man’s research papers making his eye lids twitch but he didn’t say anything. 

“Well, first off, its easy money,” he pulled his pad out and flipped it to something before tossing it Tak’s way who just glanced down at it but made no move to read the job description.

“The collector has been wanting Centauri relics for years now, but no one has taken this job. Most fear Badoon soldiers are still hiding out here, some think its disrespectful to plunder once sacred ground anymore than it already was, and the rest are superstitious spacers who don’t touch sacred ground fearing they will bring a curse upon themselves and their ship.”

“Go on, read the amount and say we don’t need it. Its enough to finally get those parts we need and to finally get that second engine to make jumps smoother. A little extra for M Ships, supplies and those meds you keep insisting we need so ya don’t catch anything from these idiots.”

Tak eyed the pad and sighed picking it up but just shook his head tossing it back to Yondu.

“These aren’t just ‘relics’, this is your culture. You don’t want them to remain on Hollow grounds where they belong?”

“Ain’t my nothing,” Yondu sneered clicking his pad off and sliding it back in his pocket, “That was decided for me when I was Peter’s age.”

Tak still said nothing just staring at Yondu.

“Peter doesn’t go down there, he is just a baby and I don’t want you risking him. The Badoon don’t just leave, they just burrow underground like the cockroaches they are.” 

“I’ll decide what’s best for him. He needs to learn to crawl in tight spaces without hurting himself like Kraglin did and how Tulk did and how I did. This is his new culture now and he needs to learn to find his place here with the crew.”

“He is underweight, scared and unwell right now,” Tak hissed, “Or do you remember how you put him in my care? Well I’m telling you now, he’s not ready. You might want to go have a fun family romp with these bunch of imbeciles and Kraglin desecrating your own people’s holy grounds but no, not with Peter you are not. He isn’t ready. He was taken from his home, his trauma is still too fresh and even Kraglin knows better than to push him into anything he isn’t ready for.”

“He won’t go down yet, I’ll wait with him. Kraglin teaching him how to crawl through the ships’s vents is good enough for now but that doesn’t mean we are leaving. Need the money and we need to spend as much time as we can away from the usual space routes.”

“How do you know Ego won’t know you came here?” Tak groaned wishing he had a drink now, “This is the resting place for your people…”

“And that’s why no one will know we’re here,” Yondu countered a large smile on his face as if he wanted to be congratulated for his ‘genius’.

“Why would I come back here? No one would think someone like me would be in their right state of mind to come back here.”

“These hypothetical people are right, you aren’t in your right state of mind and you keep getting fucking crazier with age…”

Yondu ignored his comment and kept going.

“We ain’t anywhere near Shi’ar zones, so no Nova Corp to worry about, a few dozen jumps from Kree space so no war zones to pass through and so far from the likes of Ego he won’t sense us. It is a perfect place to teach Kraglin how to properly handle his ship without getting into a dog fight with the law or someone we pissed off and no one will come looking for us here, because of course everyone would assume I wouldn’t be here!”

“Cause you shouldn’t be here…”

Tak had given up, just staring at this man shaking his head. Yondu gave him a smug grin as he rose and began to leave. Rolling his eyes at Tak bemoaning him taking away his rum as he slammed the door. Tak was a lost cause, he wasn’t going to come around to his line of thought.

Yondu was captain and this was his ship, he didn’t care how Tak thought it should be done, how Stakar would have had it done, he was doing it his way.


	23. Sticky Fingers

Peter poked at the mush Kraglin tried to tell him was edible and made a face when Kraglin held the candy bar in front of his face before snatching it away.

“Ya don’t eat that, I get to eat this.”

“That isn’t fair,” Peter grumbled taking a deep breath before forcing in a mouthful of the food and grimacing at the taste, “I stole it, I wanted to eat it.”

“I gotta know, how many times ya get caught? I feel like a good chunk of the shit in yer bag weren’t bought.”

Peter paused and scrunched his face, frowning, deep in thought. He got up and went over to the closet in the room where Kraglin liked to hang his bag and picked it up bringing it over to them.

“There was this little store, it was right there every day when I walked to school,” Peter began digging out the key chains, “I saw these hanging right by the door. Every day. I wasn’t really looking at them, I was just trying to avoid eye contact really, but every day the shop keep would look me in the eyes and tell me…”

Peter squared his shoulders and gave Kraglin one hell of a stink eye, leaning close to him wagging his finger imitating the shop keep.

“I see ya eying them every day, Quill, I don’t care if yer mama is dying, ya steal from me, ya will suffer the consequences.” 

“I took it as a challenge,” Peter finished with a shrug and Kraglin began cracking up, “I took one every single day for…I don’t know…two months?”

“Little kleptomaniac,” Kraglin said fondly smile widening, “I have a few stories of out smarting angry shop keepers of my own.”

Peter stared at him almost in anticipation but Kraglin just glanced back down at Peter’s barely touched food making him grimace forcing another bite.

“I used to be obsessed with this one shop’s food,” he began and Peter was already snickering, “They had these fried crispy things that just exploded in your mouth. Sometimes literally! They were sweet and spicy all at the same time and I loved them. It was an Aerie specialty and this was the only place you could find them but the catch was the owner was a major Dick. Like a bonafide, one hundred percent Dick and he knew of my sticky fingers from the owners of the shop in the area. He had a freaking sign outside his shop warning people I was not allowed in. I hated him so much.”

“Did you rob him blind?” Peter cocked his head towards Kraglin who gave him his best shit eating grin.

“I wanted those crispy things and not being smart enough to pronounce them weren’t gonna stop me from getting what I wanted.” 

“Is this a story where you end up arrested?”

Kraglin turned a little purple at that comment and he stuttered out a no and Peter rolled his eyes, he had a feeling it did.

“No! Gettin’ warnings from Nova Corps ain’t being arrested!”

“It’s still gettin’ caught,” Peter chuckled, “I didn’t get caught. One time he almost caught me but I am too good for that.”

“You run away or start crying?” Kraglin retorted his own smug smile creeping back on.

Peter didn’t answer and went back to eating the slop. Truthfully, the man grabbed him hard and he started sobbing and his grandfather who was in the store with him threatened to kick his ass for touching Peter like that. It was unheroic and he did get caught later that night by his grandfather who found his stash but chose not to do anything about and just gave him a stern warning. His grandfather was at a constant state of disappointed in him. It was always the worst kind of disappointed too, it was mixed in with pity, he pitied Peter too much to tan his hide like he was always threatening.

Peter found himself wondering if his grandfather was happy he was gone. Having washed his hands of all the disappoints in his life. People didn’t think he could hear them but he could hear his grandfather on the phone very well. He was the mistake that made mom give up her chance at being something great, someone who would be remembered and being the one kid grandpa could be proud of. But she died, the only mark on her legacy was him and he wasn’t smart and he wasn’t skilled and he was always getting himself in trouble because he wasn’t those things.

Right at this moment, he had been kidnapped and instead of fighting and demanding they let him go, he was making friends with his captors and would rather be with them then face anyone’s disappointment. He shoved his barely eaten food away, not even wanting his own candy, he just wanted to go to sleep.

Kraglin wordlessly shoved his Walkman at him and Peter almost cried, never feeling more grateful for anything in his life. He pressed down on the play button and let the low chanting of hooked on a feeling feel his head. Kraglin just took the tray and sat it on the other side of the door, someone would collect it soon or Kraglin himself would take it down to the mess when Peter fell asleep.

Peter retreated to the nest of blanket’s he had made under the desk, wanting some privacy and Kraglin didn’t argue with that.

Yondu had not been happy to find out Peter had made his desk into ‘Peter’s’ area but besides the glares and the mumbled annoyances, Yondu never openly told Peter of his anger about his decision. When Peter had tacked a blanket over the front of the heavy wooden desk, Kraglin almost feared Yondu would yell at him but instead he just shook his head at it and commented the fungus had a proper lair now.

An even bigger surprise to Kraglin was Peter never tried to steal any of Yondu’s knickknacks toppling over each other on the shelves lining the room. He would sometimes catch the boy staring at them but he would only pull his own belongings closer to him and clutch his bag tighter to him and watch Yondu’s every move when he returned in the evenings. 

Kraglin flopped back on his cot once Peter settled into his spot and began flipping through his data pad. Settling into a game he had been getting addicted too ever since Peter had downloaded it without his permission. Kid couldn’t even read his pad, just kept stealing it to mash down on much shit as possible and download crap Kraglin definitely didn’t need. 

The captain came in later then usual, he glanced at Peter’s fort (his words not Kraglin’s) but didn’t ask anything, kicking his boots off and throwing himself in his bed.

“Did ya give more of ma furs to the damn brat?” he grumbled kicking at the much lighter pile of furs he had been collecting and throwing his jacket to the floor and then proceeding to pull his pants and belt off, only leaving his shirt and boxers like normal.

Kraglin had become a deep purple the first few times he had seen this, averting his eyes and not knowing what to do but he was used to it now. In the beginning he would have moved to clean up the captain’s mess but now knew he could just leave it there without comment.

“Tak said he didn’t want him getting cold, so he put them in his area earlier.”

Yondu scowled, “That man is somehow worse sober.”

Kraglin just gave his captain a half smile, he wouldn’t be caught dead disagreeing with this man but he really disagreed. He loved not having to clean up after a drunk Tak and he had heard quite a few crewmembers also agree on this getting sick of this man picking fights with them.

“Kraglin,” Kraglin instantly lowered his pad at the commanding and yet, somehow pleading tone his captain used to call his name.

“Yes, Captain?” he answered a little tentatively, taking a gulp after the words left his mouth, feeling his heart thudding loudly in his chest. He bit his inner cheek and thought for a moment, calculating everything he had done in the last few days hoping he hadn’t messed up.

“How would you feel about going on yer first major assignment?”

The large smile that broke on his face at that spoke volumes but it became more somber as he began to think for a moment.

“What about Pete? I thought my job was to help in his healing?”

“It is and yer doing great,” the captain was congratulating him, this was the happiest moment of Kraglin’s life. 

“It won’t be anything hard, most of the crew is just too bulky to squeeze in tight spaces. Won’t be any different from crawling through the vents and I know ya like doin’ that well enough.”

Kraglin shrugged, he didn’t like crawling through the vents, he just hated dealing with the crew so they made his job easier. Now Peter, that boy loved the vents, loved the gross Orloni but Kraglin was just waiting for puberty to finally bulk him up more.

“Its nothing more then an in and out assignment. There ain’t nothing on those planets. I had those idiot bounty hunter brothers scoping the place for a few days now but they are too damn fat to fit into the temples and I need what’s in there.” 

Kraglin had been wondering where they had gone, it had been quiet with their large mouths yelling about how great they were. 

“Can I pilot again?” the words just slipped and he instantly began turning purple stammering out promises to not crash again but he needed to fly again. He loved the sensation, he just needed to learn how to control his speed better to avoid crash landings.

“Sure, whatever ya want,” Yondu said with a shrug and Kraglin became giddy, instantly hopping over to Yondu’s bed and thanking him, talking a mile a minute about how he was going to avoid hitting meteors again. 

From his hiding spot, Peter slipped off his head sets and frowned. He didn’t want to be stuck on this ship without Kraglin, that wasn’t fair. He didn’t say anything, he just sank into his large mound of blankets seething, wondering if he should even bother confronting Kraglin at all.

The thought of being alone made him extremely uncomfortable but a large stab of guilt hit him hearing the excitement in Kraglin’s voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done. Almost done. 
> 
> Thank you for all the reviews! they help me keep a more consistent update schedule!! 
> 
> I don't always respond to reviews, I much prefer to try to review fellow authors work who comment on my stuff but I just want to say, reviews mean a lot! Thank you! 
> 
> I know not a lot happens in this fic but I have been trying to keep the focus mainly on emotions and found family and stuff. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if someone gave up on this thing because of the lack of anything really happening lol but thank you, I mean a huge thank you, to those who have been keeping up since the start! I only hope each new chapter gets better for you! I am trying my best to get it all done and get to the sequels soon!


	24. Out of the Frying pan and Into The Fire

The bridge was quiet today Horuz noted as he leaned back in the captain’s usual spot, staring out into the vastness of space. There was a stiffness in the air, most of the crew knew where they were now and were as nervous Horuz. Most spacers were a superstitious lot and Horuz more than most on the ship.

This wasn’t just dead space, this was where a massacre had occurred, and an entire race became practically extinct. This wasn’t just normal dead planets that died because of their own inhabitants over using them, this was a grave yard they were floating above and the light blue glow of the planets surfaces were haunting.

He pulled his lucky flask out of his jacket and stared at his own warped reflection shining off the expensive material, Kree letters spelling something off the side he never bothered to learn to read. It was worth a pretty penny and damn near indestructible, but he wasn’t gonna sell it. First thing he ever stole off the first man he ever shot almost thirty years ago. He saved Stakar’s neck hitting the Kree but his former captain weren’t grateful. He tossed him aside all the same for defending his kid and new ungrateful captain.

He took a large swig watching the navigation screen pulling up all its new coordinates and status of the planets around them. 

He watched his oldest friend slide in the room and sit next to him. He glanced over at Tak, but the older man didn’t say anything, just held his hand out demanding he pass him the flask.

“Yondu’ll kill me,” he said with a chuckle, “Word is that ya ain’t allowed to touch the sauce no more.”

“Well yer in his spot and he don’t take kindly to that neither, dead man is a dead man, boy.”

“Don’t call me boy,” he sneered passing the man his flask, “And don’t drink it all. Just a sip, don’t leave nothin’ on yer breath. Don’t want nothin’ comin’ back on me.”

“Ya’ll always be a boy to me,” he said passing the flask back after a large swig taking half the rum in one gulp, “Always that little bastard who stole my good shit and ended up fishing the dead Orloni outta the engine fer yer bull shit.” 

“How drunk are ya already to be talkin’ about the good old days?”

“Not drunk enough, been taking what I can behind our great dictator’s back to get the nerves off. I don’t like this, Horuz, I don’t like any of this.”

Horuz didn’t say anything just looked at him with pity he would only reserve for someone he knew deserved it.

“Being here, having another baby dumped in my lap and the idea that we won’t be able to rest ever again with Ego always behind us.”

“Maybe Ego will just give up and go make new kids,” Horuz shrugged, absently tapping at the computer, scrolling through the new data coming in.

Tak just groaned, “I fear we will just be in the business of chasing down this man’s children if that were the case. Yondu took being tricked very personally.”

“And ya didn’t? Ya never try to sober up for no one, but yer doing it for the new brat.”

Tak glared at him but didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. Horuz had been there after the girl, Ego’s little girl Tak loved. The one he kept in his office and babied, the one he tried to teach about medicine. Tak gave up drinking for the girl and was so happy to have her go to a family with many siblings and what he had thought was a loving father. Tak didn’t take to any of Ego’s kids like he did the last girl, the one who cried and wanted to be held. The one from the war-torn colony with the mom who tried but who could never do enough.

“His name is Peter and you be nice to him, he’s fragile.”

“Ya say that about all Ego’s brats. They are fragile. All of them are always fragile. Ya wonder if Ego made them that way? Maybe he wanted his brats like that, maybe ya should be more concerned about hardening Ego’s new shit and maybe this one won’t ---”

Tak had punched him before he could finish the sentence. Horuz always forgot how fucking dirty the old man fought until he found himself slammed against the back of the chair, Tak’s blaster pressed right into his wind pipe making it impossible for him to breathe.

If Tak wanted him dead he would have done it there but he didn’t, so he just punched him in the face again before rising above him, glaring hard at him. Keeping his weapon pressed against his throat like the dirty bastard he was, making Horuz snarl.

“Don’t fucking go there,” he hissed, “I will make yer life a living hell if you do, don’t matter if we got history. That baby ain’t dying and I will kill all of you if I have to. I ain’t going through that again. He’s going to live and he’s going to feel loved and accepted.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Horuz snarled already feeling the rage building, rising up and shoving Tak away from him, “I get it. Ya hate all of us and think every damn one of us is useless but for fuck’s sake, do you always, god damn always, have to take everything the wrong way and escalate it to violence?! Some great care giver of children ya are.”

Both of them stood glaring at each other, both calculating the other’s move and how far this needed to go when a low chuckle interrupted them. They turned their glares towards Tulk as he waltzed into the room whistling and sat down, just watching them.

“Came just in time for the fight I see.”

“Get lost Tulk,” Horuz hissed his way, “Ya are supposed to be in the engine room. I told ya, its acting up again and at risk of overheating!”

“I left Nut and Oblo in charge, they are capable.”

Horuz took a deep breath and turned his ire from Tak and let it fall squarely on Tulk, the younger man not reacting to that anger just smiling wider pissing Horuz off more.

“That ain’t the point. I left ya in charge of it because ya are the only one who can get it to stop once it starts. Stop being a lazy piece of shit and go back to your area!”

“Be harder on yer kid, Horuz, you made him a lazy piece of shit,” Tak snarled at him mockingly making Horuz’s nostrils flare in anger but he said nothing.

Tulk just rose an eyebrow in confusion and went on as if Horuz wasn’t in the middle of chewing his ass out.

“Those idiots are back and being dramatic down in the hangar.”

“So yer sayin’ is ya was hidin’ out in yer M Ship again instead of being at yer post?!”

“No, I’m saying they are about to tear up our M Ships if ya don’t do yer job as first mate. They came out yelling and nearly hit my ship with their shitty landing. Saw me and demanded I go gets ya or they were gonna tear up ma ship.” 

“Fine, we’ll go down to the hangar, set them in line and you and I are going somewhere quiet where I can kick yer ass for not listenin’ ta me, again.”

“You are a shit first mate,” Tak chuckled, “Sevon would never have let them get out of line like this. He would have known when they would be back and been down there waiting for them.”

“Well, Yondu killed Sevon and made me first mate after a long lines of deaths Sevon probably caused by cursing this flarking job, so shut yer damn mouth before I declare your actions against me mutiny and ice ya!”

“That will go over so well with our beloved captain since I am in a position where he needs me but I can’t say the same for you. First mates are easy to replace.” 

Horuz snarled but didn’t take any action. He turned his back on Tak, he would beat his ass later when Yondu wouldn’t kill him for doing so. Tak was in a bad mood and trying to pick a fight with him. Like he always did. He was comin’ down, in a place he didn’t want to be in and terrified Ego would find them. Picking on him was the only thing he could do to pretend like he had some power and he was right, he couldn’t kick his ass right now without Yondu killing him. Fuck this position and fuck this ship, if he had any place else to go he would.

He didn’t so he kept his silence, grabbing a wad of Tulk’s dreads and dragging him beside him. Beating the shit out of something big and stupid might do him good right now.

\---

Horuz was already gripping his blaster by the time he made it down to the hangar, Tulk grumbling beside him.

He was not pleased to find Knife Heart, lounging against his M Ship and his idiot band of brothers all surrounding him, weapons hanging from their sides, loosely hanging from their meaty fingertips. With or without weapons, it was never a good sign to have these morons near the ships. They often thought it was fun to do target practice or train around their precious ships. With being cut off from Stakar, ships were rare to come by and if one got too damaged, it would just have to be scrapped and they would be out of a ship that used to be promised to anyone who wore the ravager flame. 

“What have we talked about, Knife Heart?” Horuz snarled glaring at them.

“Horuz!” he greeted but not nearly as loud as he normally would and there was something close to fear on his voice, “You brought the doctor! Wonderful timing my friend.”

Horuz just sneered at that, Knife Heart was no friend of his but he kept that comment to himself knowing the temper on this one, any slight could turn hostile. 

“Melting Acid,” he began and he heard Tak make a weird noise behind him, bewildered by the name. Tak had spent the better part of three years now drunk, sobering up he probably thought those names were just his mind playing tricks on him.

Horuz came closer to the group and noticed one of the brothers leaning heavily against the other (Taser Face, he believed). Taser Face looked more annoyed at his brother as he turned to face Horuz giving him a better view at the poorly put together bandages. The last two brothers, Throat Punch and Blaster Hole glaring hard at him demanding he do something to help their brother.

“What happened? Ya idiots stab yerselves again?” Tak groused behind Horuz, not even bothering to come closer to get a better look at the man.

“We went to scout the planet as our captain requested,” Knife Face began an almost proud smile on his face laying on top of his worry for his brother, “And we found many treasures just on the surface, I am sure he will enjoy.”

He nodded his head towards the brother on his left who hefted a large burlap sack from his large shoulder and handed it towards Horuz who rolled his eyes before grabbing it and faltering a little at its weight making Tulk and Tak snicker behind him.

On days like this, Horuz hated his job as he stared into the bag. Instead of the treasures he was promised, it was nothing more then broken, rotting, worthless toys and jewelry and just rocks from the dead society that had once inhabited the planet. 

“What use would this junk be?” Horuz sneered, shoving the bag back towards them.

“It was all very old, so it must have some value to it.”

Horuz hated them, he really did. Old and shiny were never nor have ever been indicators that anything had value and he was tired of wasting his breath.

“Did ya scan the Mountain Side temple like ya were told? Or were ya too busy lootin’ junk?”

“Of course, we did, we are not stupid or the captain would not have trusted us with such an important task,” the large man sneered thrusting the scanning device at Horuz, he seemed offended that Horuz wasn’t impressed with their junk.

“The temple is very dangerous and it would take someone very small to fit through many of the openings. Melting Acid tried his best to make a better opening for our captain but I am afraid he only made another large cave in and was stabbed by a large chunk of debri.”

Tak turned his head away to hide his amused smirk from the large men who could easily break him for laughing at their misfortune. 

“Soo, what you’re saying is you made it much harder for the captain to get his stupid statues and we will be here longer digging out your cave in?”

“Not necessarily,” Knife Heart said with a shake of his head and a smile, “The child the captain adopted from Terra should fit well enough in the holes and under the debris.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Tulk said with a shake of the head, “He threatened to ice both Tak and cabin boy, the two he’s usually most lenient with, for looking at the little shit wrong.” 

He felt Tak’s glare and he felt a hard shove from the older man. He turned around glaring hard at him and saw him mouth that he made it clear Peter wasn’t involved. Horuz had half a mind to volunteer the little shit out of spite but knew that was a death sentence.

“I understand his protective nature,” Knife Heart said with genuine sympathy that made Horuz raise his eye brow, “But—”

“He’s the one who wants this shit and he shouldn’t be so weak as to care too much for a dumb child,” Taser Face hissed interrupting his brother who glared his way, smacking him upside the head.

“Caring for those weaker then you is not weakness,” his brother hissed his way, “Or I would have left you behind many times, brother.” 

“It is the captain’s son, he has reason to worry.”

Horuz just rolled his eyes and went with it, if the idiots wanted to think the brat was Yondu’s bastard child, let them, it would keep them from digging too deep and finding out who the brat really was. Horuz was forced into this position and didn’t want to be the first iced if mutiny broke out.

“Take your idiot brother down to the med bay,” Horuz mumbled, “Tak will take care of him.”

He already heard Tak grumbling in annoyance at that but to his credit he was heading straight back to his post with the two brothers limping close behind him.

Tulk slipped out of the room before he could take his anger out on him, so instead he turned back to Knife Heart and lead him away from the ships and to the conference room where they could discuss all his findings in more detail.

\----

Yondu got up early like he usually did and rolled his eyes at Kraglin half hanging from his cot, all noodle limbs hanging from the edges and sprawled across the bed. He pushed the cabin boy back up right on the cot so he didn’t fall and pulled the blanket back on him. It was just looking out for him and nothing more. It was cold in here and Kraglin would be no good to anyone if he got sick. 

He sat heavily back on his bed and he grabbed his pants and boots off the ground, sitting them next to him. He didn’t see any real reason to opt for clean cloths after sniffing his leather pants, a little sour smelling but not awful, good enough for one more day. 

He paused, smirking seeing Quill’s sheet rustling. He was awake, sliding his ear next to his sheet trying to decide if he should come out or not. Yondu watched the sheet rustle again imagining little fingers pinching against it before letting go deciding not to face the big stupid smurf as he had taken to calling him.

In Yondu’s opinion, Quill was a lot smarter than Ego’s other kids. He never took anything just at face value, never stopped watching and listening, always keenly aware he was among strangers who could turn on him. The others were too happy to be steered into slaughter, all bright smiles and warm hugs offered to who they thought were their saviors.

Quill knew to only trust those who earned his trust and that’s why he stayed close to Kraglin, Kraglin was young like him and his emotions were always worn on his sleeve.

Peter knew damn well his father were a bastard, Yondu didn’t know how, but he knew if he told him he was gonna take him to his daddy, it would be one hell of a fight. Yondu smirked, Quill was one of a kind and Yondu was almost proud he was the one he decided to keep. Maybe he would be more open about it if Quill weren’t such a stubborn pain in the ass about everything. 

He didn’t fight, not in the traditional sense but he didn’t make a damn thing easy either. Ego would have killed this one in the hour, he wasn’t easy to care for and he made sure it was hard, damn hard.

Yondu didn’t have to image him being born into the life he, himself, had been born into, he already knew he had been. Tak couldn’t bring himself to say the words but what happened broke poor Kraglin, makin’ him scared and jumpy and clingy towards the kid.

Yondu didn’t need to be told, he knew. Someone, someone close to him, sold Peter into a type of slavery. Maybe not a battle slave, he may have been allowed to stay with his mommy but before he picked him up, he didn’t have freedom.

He thought on it a moment and realized he probably still didn’t have freedom. His every action would always have to be heavily monitored, even when he became strong enough to fight for himself, Yondu wasn’t letting Ego have this one. If he died in the process, he was taking Ego with him, the jack ass wasn’t getting this one. He could go make another one, he was good enough at that but this one was payment for the hell he put Yondu through.

Yondu frowned staring at the little fort the boy made and rolled his head to the ceiling breathing hard out of his nostrils to keep the snarl silenced. He would just have to accept he was no better than Ego, his pride wasn’t letting this one go. Ego put him in this position and he was gonna make the best of it. That damn kid was gonna be a ravager and let whatever god was out there help the idiot who didn’t agree with Yondu. 

Yondu pulled his cloths on and held a smug smile as he made his way over to Peter’s area and sat down at his desk, kicking lightly at the sheet. The boy had to get used to him sometime, avoiding each other like they had been doing was going to get them nowhere in the grand scheme of things. 

He lived in his room, they couldn’t keep going on pretending the other wasn’t around like this. If the boy could make pleasantries with Tak, the biggest bastard on this ship, he could give Yondu five minutes a day.

“I know yer awake,” he grumbled kicking at the sheet again.

Yondu didn’t expect any less when the boy didn’t bother to respond to him. Yondu liked the kid, really, he did, but he didn’t always have the patience for him when he challenged him like this. Yondu kicked back the thick sheet and gave a smug smile to Peter’s large pout and crossed arms.

“Where’s yer good morning to the captain?”

Peter’s pout became a scowl, seemed like they were off to a fun start already.

“Ya should be grateful I don’t just let the crew eat ya, a nice light snack to help them get their work done faster.”

A brief flash of fear crosses Peter’s face but he doesn’t respond to the threat, turning his head away trying to act like he isn’t bothered.

“Ya might argue ya ain’t got enough meat on yer bones but the bones are the main treat to some of them guys.”

Peter moved uncomfortably back but didn’t give Yondu the satisfaction of looking at him or responding to his tale.

“They like to suck the marrow slowly from the bones still attached,” Yondu made low slurping noises to emphasize his point making Peter squirm more and make an uncomfortable face, “But ya won’t need to worry about that too much if ya stop having so much attitude and be a good little boy.”

Peter glared at him but didn’t say anything to the man, arms crossed firmly and seemingly determined to not give the man the satisfaction of a conversation if he was gonna be an asshole. Yondu swallowed his laugh, this one was too cute for his own good. He was lucky he was Yondu’s now or the men really would eat him whole.

“Are you going to be a nice little boy today or are you gonna be a tasty snack?”

Peter didn’t turn to face him, making it clear he was not going to respond to Yondu messing with him, making Yondu roll his eyes. This damn kid was too up tight, didn’t take jokes well it seemed.

“Come on, no one’s up to eat ya yet,” Yondu said simply pulling the sheet up to let Peter out who was giving him a wary glare. After a few seconds he decided to not fight Yondu (a wise decision) and pulled his worn-out shoes on before crawling out.

Peter looked towards Kraglin sleeping before exiting the room, barely waiting for Yondu.

Yondu became his shadow, almost curious where the kid thought he was going. He smirked seeing him bend down and try to enter through one of the lower square vents.

“Ya can become acquainted with the Orloni later,” Yondu chuckled picking him up, “We’re going down to the bridge.” 

Peter shoved at Yondu, growling a little under his breath, wanting the man to put him down but Yondu just gave him a smug look and carried him where he wanted to take him. It was easier then fighting with him.

\---

Peter’s mood was lifted a little looking out the large window in front of them, eyes practically bulging from their sockets to get a better view of the beautiful blue planet the ship was hovering by and the back drop of endless stars around them.

“Its so pretty,” he found himself whispering stepping closer to the large window and pressing on hand against it. 

“That’s Centari IV,” Yondu informed him sitting down at the helm, clicking the navigation screen on to make sure the auto pilot was keeping everything in check before Horuz ran from his new post without even getting someone to cover for him.

“I’ve never seen anything so blue!” Peter gasped pressing his head closer to the glass, staring closer at the glowing ball. It looked more like a wizard’s orb then it did a planet. 

“Some claim the planet is magic but I call bull shit on that, it’s nothing more then another dead planet no one cares about anymore.”

“Then why do you want to be here so bad,” Peter grumbled not turning away from the glowing planet.

“A rich asshole wants garbage from said useless planet and who am I to turn away free cash?”

Peter finally turned around to face Yondu, the fear evident on his face over shadowing the glare he tried to keep in place.

“Its not dangerous down there is it?”

“No,” Yondu said taking a deep breath already knowing where this was headed, “Its been dead for a very long time down there. Over 30 years. The Centari System was just another casualty against the Kree and Shi’ar empire in their war to gain more power then the other.”

“How do you know anything is down there then?” Peter grumbled turning back to gazing out at the stars, “Its probably all gone and it’s a waste of your time going there. Why can’t we go somewhere fun? A place all futuristic and like Star Trek and not dead.”

“I don’t know what ‘Star Trek’ is but I can almost guarantee no planet will be like whatever you are thinking of,” Yondu chuckled with a shake of his head, “Don’t know why you care where we go, not like you’re leaving the ship.”

“Why not?” Peter demanded his anger eclipsing his fear finally.

“Cause you’ll run and I ain’t got time or patience to run after ya.”

“Why would you even care if did?” Peter challenged folding his arms tight across his chest glaring daggers at the man, “Not like I would anyway, I don’t got anywhere else to go.”

“That’s a smart way’a thinkin’ ‘bout it,” Yondu chuckled staring the kid down. Most of Ego’s kids would have been crying by now and assuring him they wouldn’t go anywhere but not Peter, brat was stubborn and wanted to get some kinda point across.

“But the fact of the matter is, I don’t trust ya, ya ain’t earned it being a stubborn little shit and fighting with me about everything.”

“Why should I have to earn yer trust?” Peter sneered eyes narrowing, “You are the one who kidnapped me, you should earn my trust. You can’t even give me a proper answer of what you want with me in the first place.”

“Yer the galaxies dumbest kid, ya know that?” Yondu said rolling his eyes, “Ya don’t listen fer shit and are making demands with someone who took ya millions of miles from yer home and could be thinkin’ about gettin’ a new little shit who is less trouble.”

“But ya ain’t or ya would have already,” Peter said with a sneer, “Tak and Kraglin already told me ya won’t. I know how people work, if you were going to do something, ya would have done it already and ya wouldn’t be trying to bribe me takin’ me to look at stupid dead planets with ya cause I’m primitive and ain’t ever seen any other planet this close before.”

Yondu was a little dumbstruck by the kid’s words, leave it to Tak to already be bad mouthing him to the kid and leave it to Kraglin to already be filling him with lies about how great of a person the captain was, ya know, deep down.

Yondu was already feeling a small sense of pride staring at this kid, oh yes, this one would be fun. A complete pain in the ass but he could never say one of Ego’s kids didn’t entertain him. Barely reaching Yondu’s thigh, underweight, emotionally vulnerable and he was glaring him down like no one’s business. He was confident Yondu wouldn’t harm him or let anyone else do so right now and he was using that to his advantage to say whatever the hell he wanted. Cheeky little brat.

“Maybe I shoulda left ya on Terra, yer way more trouble then yer worth,” he said unable to hide the smug grin at this tiny child glaring at him like that, as if he could take him on if this became a fight. Yondu wasn’t cold enough to not think shit like this was adorable and if Quill were a doll, he would already be in his collection.

“Ya wanna know why I got ya? I need something skinny to fit through small vents and Kraglin is growing outta that job and when yer dead beat daddy refused to pay fer yer ass, I figured that would be the perfect job fer ya.”

Peter actually gave him a smile for that, a little half smile one that concealed sadness but a smile none the less. Yondu wasn’t sure what Ego already did to make this kid hate him so much but the kid was a natural at judging character. Just telling that small bit of truth (really just playing to the kid’s suspicions, he didn’t need to tell the whole truth) seemed to have earned him some of the kids trust, seconds later he was at his side asking about what Yondu wanted from the stupid dead planet.

“Nothin’ worth talkin’ about, just useless junk the Collector wants.”

“Is that really his name? That’s dumb…”

“Its just his title but trust me, some folks really do have names just as stupid, stupider even,” Yondu snickered, scrolling through the computer, Peter’s eyes popping out once more looking over the small hologram in front of them.

“What’s that?”

“The state of the engine and life support systems,” Yondu said not looking up staring at the state of everything. The engine was doing fine, at least Horuz kept the engine crew in line or they would be screwed. They were far away from a port that could repair them if something did go wrong and all of them would have to live in the ruins of Centari IV.

Peter’s hand reached over and phased through the hologram making Yondu glare at him.

“It ain’t a toy, boyo.”

“How does it do that? Pop out like that? Its really cool.”

“A bunch of complicated shit that would make your primitive brain implode on itself.”

“Can I go down on the planet with you?”

Yondu rolled his eyes and gave him a stern look.

“Ya said it was dead and not dangerous and I want to see if it glows like that down there.”

“It don’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Cause I’m smarter then a primitive brat, that’s why,” Yondu said firmly not really wanting to play fifty questions with this kid. 

“Come on, I’ll be droppin’ ya off with Tak before I go take care of more urgent matters, just needed to take care of a few things before then.”

Peter glared at him, not seeming to want to move from his spot but at Yondu’s threat of carrying him there, he followed willingly.

\---

Yondu frowned hearing an argument happening in the medical ward. He motioned his head for Peter to get behind him (which Peter to his credit did even if he glared at him first) before he opened the door.

Tak had his hands on his hips on one side of the room glaring daggers at one of the bounty hunters (Acid something) who was dripping his yellow blood all over the once clean floors.

“Do not tell me what I am or am not going to do, Acid Brain. I don’t want Yondu here and neither should you after your massive fuck up. Now shut the fuck up and let me find something that will knock your ugly ass out.”

“I would like to explain to my captain myself what I was thinking and that maybe this is a golden opportunity for him to---”

Both stopped arguing and became silent noticing Yondu had entered the room.

“What happened ta you? Piss off one of yer stupid brothers?” he said casually directing his head towards one of the vacant beds away from the large scary man Peter was already eying nervously but obeyed Yondu’s silent command, already used to this routine.

“Hello Peter,” Tak said becoming gentle instantly seeing the child. Tak was always soft on children, especially Ego’s children.

“We’ll do your normal check up after I get done with this idiot who’s bleeding all over my clean floor baby.”

“Ok,” Peter responded giving Tak a smile which he returned before turning a glare at Yondu.

“I would have collected him,” he sneered at the captain before glaring at the blood still pooling from his other patient making it clear he didn’t want Peter around the rest of the crew yet.

“Boy can handle blood,” Yondu sneered back, “Can’t ya boy?”

“I guess?” Peter responded glancing at the bleeding man before turning his head away looking grossed out at the sight.

During the brief argument, Melting Acid was eying Peter.

“Captain, why do you not want to send this one into the openings? He would fit much easier then cabin boy.”

“The openings aren’t that tight,” Yondu said glaring at the man silently telling him to stay out of his business.

“Well they weren’t until this moron went punching walls,” Tak grumbled making Yondu turn an angry snarl the large man’s way.

“What did ya do? Yer only job was to scout for life and to scan the surface!”

“He thought it would be helpful to punch holes in decaying structures and got stabbed by the falling debri.”

Yondu debating killing him to set an example but decided against it feeling Peter’s little eyes watching the scene closely.

“But it might not be a big deal if you send in someone smaller,” the man said turning his head towards Peter.

“I can do that,” Peter answered and Tak was already glaring daggers at Yondu demanding he take care of this.

“Boy ain’t trained, he’s no good for the job,” Yondu said firmly, laying his hand on his hip, rising his jacket just enough for the large pink skinned man to see the arrow and nervously gulp, turning his head away.

“Just crawling into stuff isn’t brain surgery! I can do it!” 

Yondu turned a stern glare Peter’s way and both began staring each other down again, whatever small moment they had in the bridge lost now.

“I say ya ain’t ready and what I says goes. Ya have no say in nothin’ boy, yer just a primitive kid with no power here.”

“Ya said the only use I had was crawling into tight stuff!” 

He hopped off the table to stand in front of Yondu once more, glaring him down. Behind him, he felt Tak doing the same. He wasn’t going to step in, he was telling Yondu silently he needed to handle this. 

Yondu snarled, he wanted him to take care of it, fine he would take care of it and he would make sure tantrums didn’t occur in front of others like this ever again. He wouldn’t hurt this kid but he would scare him so bad he would never think to put him in this situation in front of the likes of Acid something or other ever again. He wasn’t having the crew start a mutiny cause they thought he was weak letting a god damn baby Terran push him around. 

He grabbed the boy by the shirt, bunching it tightly and leaned down looking the boy square in the eyes giving him the full front of his worst stink eye. He felt Peter’s heart hammering hard as his fist rested on his chest, he had never raised a hand to the boy in the past and maybe Peter had felt a little too much comfort in the knowledge he wouldn’t hurt him. He saw that fear in his eyes as he stared him down.

Stakar had always taught him a little fear was sometimes what was needed to get a hand on any situation and that sometimes came with rearing children. He would never harm Peter but he didn’t want Peter challenging him either, he had tried talking to the boy in the past and that hadn’t work. The damn kid was stubborn and wasn’t going to listen anyway, he was going to nip this problem in the bud now. If he wanted to talk back to him, he needed to do it in their private quarters and not in front of the crew.

He learned the same way, with Stakar beating his ass every time he over stepped his bounds in front of the crew and while he wasn’t going to hurt the tiny Terran, he was going to make him understand it the same way.

“Well not yet, yer just a worthless brat who is just being a burden right now!”

“Yer weak and yer slow and ya ain’t good to no one and maybe never will be. May be a waste of my time and effort, had ya all this time and ya ain’t even healthy yet. Tell me why I shouldn’t end you now for defying my orders in front of the crew.”

Peter looked ready to cry but to Yondu’s amazement didn’t. He bunched his fists and shoved past Yondu bolting out the door the second Yondu let go of him, no doubt going to cry to Kraglin who would be up by now.

“That was harsh ta the little guy, captain…” Melting Acid grumbled making Yondu glare at him.

Tak smacked him hard on the back of the head, hard, making Yondu turn a glare at the medic who returned it. He demand he go apologize but he wasn’t a child and he wasn’t going to take orders from his crew so instead he went to finish plotting the mission. 

Yondu heard a howl of pain from Melting Acid as he left and hissed, Tak was about to take his anger out on that idiot. He would feel sympathy but it was his fault any of this happened in the first place. If he lost an arm because of Tak’s negligence, Yondu knew he would let it slide.

\---

When he came back to collect Kraglin from his quarters later that day, Yondu felt a pang of guilt hearing Peter crying. Little gasping sobs wafting into the hallway where Yondu stood.

“No one thinks you are worthless or useless,” Kraglin was telling him firmly, “And yer not. Its just not time yet, I promise ya can come soon but not this time. Yer not ready yet.”

“B-but—”

“Shh, its ok,” Kraglin whispered soothingly, Yondu knew Kraglin was squishy but he didn’t know he had it in him to be so gentle.

“Just lie down, Tak will be here soon, don’t worry.”

The door opened after that and Kraglin and Yondu came face to face. Kraglin didn’t greet him like he normally did, he just walked past him mumbling he would meet him in the hangar in a moment, he just wanted to go see Tak first.

Yondu scowled his way but didn’t react.

He just went back to the hangar to get the rest of the things ready, he just wanted to get this over with. The sooner the better.

\---

Tulk was grumbling the entire way back to the captain’s quarters, with cabin boy gone of course they shoved responsibility of the little shit onto him.

Tak ordered he bring his precious little prince to him and stop leaving him alone. He had finally stitched Melting Acid back up and wanted his little boy back. It wasn’t even that bad, Melting Acid was just whiny in Tulk’s opinion. Tulk would have usually made Tak do shit like this on his own but Tak was covered in yellow blood and Melting Acid was crying, curled up in a ball cause Tak was refusing to hand out anesthetic right now.

“Hey little shit, come on,” Tulk snapped pounding at the door.

He opened the door and knew he was a dead man when the kid was nowhere to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this chapter was hard to write. 
> 
> I am sorry if the quality isn't great but I am writing it on my own and editing it on my own, so mistakes will happen. I am just excited I am almost done with my first long story! I will try to go and edit everything better after I finish. Thank you for the support! Wouldn't have got this far without you! 
> 
>  
> 
> (Also before I go, I just want to mention I have been picking and choosing Yondu's personality from both the Tell Tale Game and the movie, so if he seems out of character, that's probably why and I own up to that). 
> 
> Thanks for supporting me! Please continue to support me so I can finish this story! I love you all! 
> 
> I am so bad at commenting on reviews. I just love them so much and sometimes get too flustered to get around to replying because I’m just so grateful you like my fic and I feel like I owe ya more then a boring “thanks!!” 
> 
> I’ll try my best to start replying to them again though. Just so you guys do know I cry tears of joy for every small “I love this fic!” Or even kudos left


	25. Cargo

Yondu glanced at Kraglin, it wasn’t like him to be quiet, he was a talker when he let him fly, talking a mile a minute constantly asking if he was doing it right. Now he just silently gripped the steering wheel, eyes moving from the navigation screen to the open stars. It wasn’t a long journey to the planet, but the silence made it feel like it was stretching forever.

“What’s on yer mind?” Yondu grunted Kraglin’s way, making him stiffen, hunching his back over more leaning across the steering wheel.

A few minutes passed and Yondu was ready to drop it, deciding to let him keep his thoughts and wouldn’t press further unless those thoughts became actions later. Kraglin surprised him though, like his ward was managing to do lately, by finally speaking his thoughts out loud.

“I feel like you would take it the wrong way and I don’t want to cause a fight, cap’n.”

Yondu frowned at that and knew what was on the boy’s mind, it was obvious in hindsight. 

“Ya think I’m too hard on Quill,” he said and Kraglin didn’t respond trying to avert his eyes, already wanting to drop it but Yondu wasn’t going to until he said his due.

“Ya think he’s little and fragile and needs to be babied like Tak does.”

“No,” Kraglin croaked out hastily already trying to prove he wasn’t going against his captain, “Ya are a good man, Cap’n, keeping him away from…Ego…they told me what he done to Peter’s siblings…”

He went silent after that, not really knowing what to say. He just stared off and began fidgeting in his seat, letting out a long breath, turning purple.

“I saw the scars is all,” he finally whispered, “I know what them Terrans did. I can’t process it, Cap’n…I just don’t understand how anyone could do that…”

He paused taking another deep breath, eyes misting with tears a little, he turned his head away from the captain fast not wanting him to see and rushed out his last words in a whisper.

“It was bad and cruel and wrong and I just don’t think you should call him worthless is all. He already thinks that of himself, when I don’t think he should…"

“The boy needs thicker skin, he ain’t ever gonna survive bein’ that soft,” Yondu said firmly cutting off Kraglin’s thoughts and making him abandon whatever courage he had to speak against his captain. 

Kraglin thought about arguing but didn’t feel like he was that important to live through a heated argument. He kept his silence and let his negative feelings sink deep down inside him. The captain knew better then Kraglin ever would, he wasn’t as old and wise as Stakar but he had been raised by the man and deemed worthy enough to be a captain. He knew what he was doing and he knew what was best, not only for the crew and Kraglin but for Peter as well.

Or so Kraglin told himself to keep the contempt right now for the captain.

\---

 

Peter nervously flexed his fingers, holding his breath to keep out the sighs and grunts, the silence starting to get to him but he didn’t want to be caught so soon (by possibly dangerous) strangers, so he kept his Walkman where it was in his bag. 

He had been crammed in here for awhile now and knew he would have to wait to get out of the box at all now. He knew the box he had hid in had been stacked under other boxes and there was no way he was getting out until someone moved them. It was likely he would get caught then but being crammed in a tight spot in the dark and silence with his nerves fraught like they were, maybe he didn’t care anymore. He almost wanted the captain to find him now, the point he was trying to make lost on him. The brief flex of rebellion lost, getting beat and yelled at and sent back to Tak by the captain may be better then getting caught by strangers he realized dully. He was a stupid child who hadn’t planned any of this out.

After Kraglin had left him in the captain’s quarters, Peter found he didn’t have the energy to cry about his lot in life anymore. He didn’t know what he wanted or even needed to do, he had pulled his bag out of the closet where Kraglin always put it away and just came to the brash decision he was going to leave the ship. 

He knew the ship pretty well thanks to tagging along with Kraglin the last week or so, he knew what he was doing and knew where the M ships were located. He kept to the vents and hid behind the cargo that was being loaded onto one of the ships. Some of the large ugly aliens were standing around talking among themselves. The largest of them seemed to be the leader of the small group as he was giving the orders.

“Cap’n just gets to leave without loading any equipment, that don’t seem fair to me,” one of the large idiots sneered.

“He is teachin’ his ward how to pilot, a very useful thing for young ones to know in this line,” the larger one sneered back making the smaller pink skinned monster cringe flinching hard behind the other monsters avoiding the smack.

“We,” he emphasized the word very hard making the three large men cringe hard, so that guy must be like their mini captain Peter figured, “Respect our captain. We respect his choice to father children and raise them into this life style and if ya disagree with that, I will knock some sense into you, Taser.”

“Knife Heart ya know I mean no disrespect to you,” ‘Taser’ said with a long emphasis on the ‘you’ making wide gestures with his hands as he talked, “You have proven yourself strong and worthy my brother but Udonta does not match up to his rumors. He even disrespected your offer to bring glory and riches to his fractured clan! He is weak!”

“He has not proven that to me yet,” Knife Heart said firmly, “This crew of his though…some are weak and do not know what honor is. We should set an example, brother.”

“Are you suggesting we kill the weak, brother?” another of the deformed aliens quiered, looking thoughtful, hand rested under his chin while Taser began perking up behind him at the very thought of murder making Peter a little nervous.

“Maybe we shall, Blaster,” Knife Heart said with a small smile that Peter thought was supposed to be warm towards his kin but just looked creepy to Peter.

“Our captain is too honorable of a man to deserve to have such low lives as a crew, maybe we will see it fit to put them into shape ourselves after this very important mission.”

‘Blaster’ sneered at that and the other two followed suit making Knife Heart glare at them once more.

“Our supposed friend called our treasures garbage, brother, I do not see how anything can be of value on that planet if they did not respect our gifts.”

“We worked very hard to collect those just for the captain…” Peter felt a little sorry for the monster with his face filled with such anguish, it was only fitting gross alien’s could get their feelings hurt too. Peter saw a small tear fall from his eye and his heart sank and his anger at Yondu rose again, it seemed he was a giant bully to everyone here.

Knife Heart pulled his brother into a tight hug and smacked him hard on the back making Peter cringe a little at the echoes that followed.

“There, there, my brother, we will prove ourselves this time! If we keep proving ourselves to the captain, I am sure one day he will see it our way and allow us to bring him true glory and honor to our small, fractured clan!” 

Peter rolled his eyes, these space pirates were nothing but giant children. He couldn’t believe he had feared them!

“Let’s load the rest of the cargo,” His booming voice echoed with excitement.

Peter was quick as he popped open one of the trunks and scurried into it. He cringed and held his breath to keep the gag from escaping realizing he had jumped into a cargo pod filled with gross smelling sacks for who knows what.

He heard loud bickering and hurried foot steps, he held his breath and pushed himself deeper into the pile of large sacks.

“Hello Horuz!”

He frowned, he knew that name. Kraglin said he had been promoted to first mate after a line of incompetent people for the role and he knew from experience he was a very strict man. He had seen him several times looking down on Kraglin and demanding he do a better job on the floor (after the asshole left scuff marks on the once clean floor with his own boots).

Peter often glared after the man but never spoke to him like the man often pretended Peter wasn’t there at all as he helped Kraglin re - scrub the floor before the alarm would bring a rush of men through the halls they were in.

He told Tak he didn’t like him on several occasions for being such a jerk and Tak laughed and agreed with him that the first mate was indeed an asshole.

“My idiot lost the boy and I suspect him to be around here,” he heard the first mate sneer with a sense of authority he could hold better then the captain in Peter’s opinion.

“I didn’t lose him,” he heard another voice sneer back, “He weren’t my problem, he were Tak’s.”

“And he were busy and the captain isn’t going to let anyone near his little precious baby boy,” Horuz spat back and a loud smack echoed. 

“Well maybe ya should---”

He held his breath to keep the squeak in as he heard a fist meat flesh and something break from the kick he heard come after. He pulled his legs closer to him, remembering exactly why Kraglin and Tak said it was important for him to never be around the crew alone.

“I don’t want to hear any fucking sass or back talk from any of you,” Horuz said evenly over the pained pants from the other man, “That includes you, Tulk. Ya think you can get away with whatever but not anymore. Shit changes now.”

There was a pause and nothing was said, even the giant monsters must have been afraid of Horuz for beating someone like that so carelessly in front of them. 

“I want you idiots to search your cargo, thoroughly before departing, that boy is not leaving this ship. Tulk get in the vents and find our missing prince before anyone else does.”

Another long pause occurred, Peter could only guess the monsters were trembling as hard as Peter was.

“Should we alert---”

“The captain finds out, we are all dead men,” Horuz stated simply and Peter closed his eyes imaging the dead pan stare the man must be giving to the much larger and scarier looking alien, imaging even someone as large and scary as Knife Heart feeling as helpless and afraid as him.

“Stop being a bitch, Tulk and follow my order,” he heard Horuz hiss moving away from the cargo, his voice becoming more distant and harder to hear for Peter.

“The security system has been shit since that last raid damaged it, I won’t be able to find him that way but he should be easy to find. He’s primitive and small and probably stupider then you lot. He’s either in your cargo or in the vents.”

Peter clamped his shaking hand hard over his mouth to keep his breathing low, he was screwed. He was going to get caught and Kraglin and Tak weren’t around to help him. They wouldn’t kill him but they could hurt him. They could very easily hurt him without doing real damage to make him learn. He was choking on his panic now, curling tighter into himself in the large box, trying in vain to get more bags over him.

His heart was deafening any sound after he heard the lid being lifted from the crate and…nothing happened. He felt the crate he was settled in being tossed to the side, his little surprised cry being overshadowed by the louder thud of another crate being tossed on top of his.

“No little brats here,” he heard Taser face sneer at the first mate, “Are we done here? Are we allowed to leave now?”

“Whatever, stop wasting my time,” Horuz growled back.

“I will keep an eye out for the child!” Knife Heart called towards the first mate, “Do not worry friend, he shall not be harmed!”

“Whatever,” were the first mate’s parting words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am leaving for Christmas and New Year, so I wanted to update once more before the new year so I just split the chapter in half (cause I will not have it all finished before I leave cause its so long guys, its so long). 
> 
> So an early Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays to everyone who has kept up with this fic. I love you guys so much and I want to always remind you that. Supporting me and my fics is just so nice of you, thank you. thank you all so much. 
> 
> Happy Holidays, hope you enjoyed the set up for the last few chapters, I'll finish the rest of it when I get back next year. 
> 
> Love, Dan.


	26. Finders Keepers

It would be very easy to write off the brothers as dumb and it was true their intellect wasn’t very high and their reasoning skills matched up perfectly with those of children but it would be unwise to write off the fact any one could have their small strikes of genius. 

Or at least, little strikes of what they considered ingenious and were lucky to get away with.

For Taser Face, his had been when he saw the child in the cargo, curled up tight fear deafening the world around them as he heard the first mate’s sneers and threats.

He knew what state the cavern had been in after Melting Acid had got done with it, he knew no one was fitting in there. Cabin boy was thin but he was long as well and too big to fit into those tiny holes but the captain’s new baby boy? Oh yeah, he would fit just right.

He could be quick get the snot in and out before anyone even noticed and reap the benefit of getting the job done. 

Captain didn’t need to know he used his brat to get the job done, he would just store him away where he found him and shove him in a vent when they got back. Any bruises found would just be from being a dumb kid in the vents if asked. Easy Peasy.

He straightened his back with respect for his eldest brother after he finally boarded the ship after taking a few quick looks in the vents himself for a child who would not be there. 

Knife Heart was the only being in this galaxy Taser Face felt was worthy of respect and admiration, his brother was a real warrior who did not hide behind his crew and his arrow gimmick to gain control of any situation like Udonta did.

He glanced at his brother barking orders to his other brothers and knew he couldn’t tell him what they had in their cargo.

“What is on your mind, my brother?”

“Nothing, my brother,” Taser Face said inside panicking when he noticed his brother rise from the cock pit to go lounge in the back of the ship. If the little shit made one noise, he swore he would be dead and it would just be assumed he fell into the turbines.

\----

Peter pushed against the roof of the box, trying to get it to budge. He sighed, it was hopeless. He sank back down, silently berating himself for being so stupid, he should have just gone to Tak, the older man would have made sure those men didn’t harm him.

He took a deep breath, then another to keep the tears from falling. This was not what he wanted at all. He just wanted to prove he wasn’t useless and wasn’t helpless…

He pressed his hand against his mouth hard to keep the sob in, he was useless and he was helpless. He wasn’t good for anyone. A screw up who couldn’t take care of himself, even when he tried.

He squeezed his eyes closed, he just wanted his mom. He was never those things to her. He didn’t need sympathy for her to love him, he didn’t need to be useful to be important to her and he was such a screw up he couldn’t even get the money that would have saved her. She wouldn’t have had to wearily tell his grandfather they would had to wait on the surgery, if Johnny had just given him the money, if he had been strong enough to get it, she would be here.

If his father wasn’t so worthless he could have saved her, but he didn’t, he was such a dead beat he didn’t even want to pay Yondu to get his son. Peter bit into his lip hard enough to draw blood, letting his anger wash away his self hatred and pity. He hated his father and he was going to be a ravager just to spite him. He was going to be the best criminal around and he was going to kill him himself one day. He let mom die, he knew he could have done something but he didn’t. He let him suffer and he didn’t care enough to even pay a wanted criminal to deliver his child.

He was going to prove he was something to Yondu and be a ravager, he kept him and he was going to deal with him. His mom wanted him to be something great, something special and while being a space outlaw is probably not what she had in mind, it was the opportunity presented to him and he was gonna take it.

A surprised gasp escaped his lips before he could stop it as the crate he was currently in was picked up and shook him around as whoever held it tossed it to the side. Peter held his hand firmly over his mouth to keep out the angry snarls as whoever held his crate shook it once more for good measure. 

“Hello mite,” a voice sneered softly making him gulp and begin to quiver as a large pink, almost red hand reached down into the crate grabbing both his hands tightly in one of his large fists and covering half of Peter’s face with his large hand to keep him from crying out. 

“You keep yer mouth shut, ya hear?” the large monster hissed at him, “I would hate to go to the trouble of disposing you before you can even help me out.”

Peter held onto that anger that had been burning inside him at that, glaring hard at the alien in front of him. 

“And then what? Captain asshole would still kill ya because he didn’t get his way and get to do whatever he wanted to do with me.” 

“He’s gonna beat you, not me when we get back and finds ya was disobeying his orders!” Taser Face hissed, his hot and disgusting breath hitting Peter straight in the face making him gag and turn his head away.

“I’ll just say I got kidnapped by you,” Peter sneered back straightening himself up and giving the alien his best defiant stare down, “He just thinks I’m a useless child, yer a stupid giant who gained something out of me being around.”

“Ya say anything and I’ll---”

“You’ll what?! It will come back around to you because your big, smelly and stupid and will be found out.”

“It won’t change tha fact yer still in my mercy and the captain ain’t around!”

“Yer stupid brother is in the next room and I don’t think he would be happy if I let out a loud scream.”

“I could gag ya.”

They both fell silent after that, just staring each other down, both of their bravado wearing thin as they both just stared at the person who would be their undoing. Peter was young and could be on the naïve side but he knew he was screwed, even if he was positive Yondu nor Knife Heart would allow harm to come to him by the actions they had previously shown but he also knew Taser Face would not hesitate to do something cruel to him, anything to keep him silent.

Taser Face on the other hand was also fully aware he was a dead man. A missing child, a dead child or a severely injured child would all lead to his demise and his brothers would end up taking this fall with him. Even with no evidence backing up he was the reason anything happened to this kid and even with the fact this kid was the one running away, he didn’t turn him in when he had the chance and now he was running on borrowed time to think of something clever enough to get the credit of finding their captain’s prize and hide the fact he had the captain’s property. Yondu was a very selfish man and would not take kindly to someone else touching something he paid high dollars for. 

Neither said anything to the other nor attempted to threaten the other, both firmly caught in the endless sea of thoughts drowning them in their own stupidity and how little they thought their actions through.

“What did ya even hope to accomplish anyway?” Taser Face sneered at the child, “Ya were gonna get caught and this is a dead planet, there ain’t no one livin’ there that could or even would want ta help ya.”

“I’m not stupid,” Peter hissed back but couldn’t find any words after that. He didn’t know what he wanted to prove, he wanted to prove he wasn’t useless but he was already failing spectacularly at that.

“I just wanted…to prove…something…” he grumbled more to himself then to the monster before him, “I’m not weak. I can climb in stupid tight areas and get stupid trash.”

Above all else he wanted to prove to someone he was worth having around, worthy of the affection Kraglin and Tak gave him and maybe even worthy enough for Yondu to not regret keeping him and not handing him over to the father who wronged him.

“Well ya got yer wish, mite,” Taser Face chuckled making Peter relax just a little, not completely drop his guard but relax enough. His weird, almost pained and nervous smile made him so much more human then he was five seconds ago. He was cruel, large and stupid but that smile said he was risking something too and Peter could hold it over him. 

“Ya are gonna get me that stupid piece of trash and I am going to have the glory.”

“That doesn’t sound like I’m getting anything out of this…”

“Yer keeping yerself from being eaten alive by me,” he sneered making Peter cower a little as he swung him around once more, “And I don’t know…keep whatever else ya find but you bring me that treasure back and you let me have that glory to boost me up more or ya are gonna suffer a fait worse then death, Captain’s pet or no. He ain’t around and you are at my mercy, don’t ya ferget that.”

With that last threat he dropped Peter back into the crate making him squeak loudly in surprise and pain as he tumbled ungracefully back into his hiding spot. The large brute kicked Peter’s hiding place for good measure as he walked by, smiling smugly at the little sob of pain. 

\----

There was a part of Yondu that knew he should be bothered about touching down on the remains of the village he had been born in.

Stepping out, he knew exactly where he was and felt a soft flash of nostalgia waft though his nerves as he stared around the decaying rumble that had once been homes. His foot smashed down on a rotted out skull and a part of him knew that was someone he once knew and possibly someone he had once cared for so long ago but he felt nothing.

This was not his home, this was the spot his former self had died and he rose from the ashes in the battle arena a new life form.

This former town, its weak dead inhabitants, the culture he was stealing, it wasn’t his own. He may carry their genes but he didn’t belong and never had. He was strong and he knew how to survive, he took any opportunity he could and he was able to be reborn. They had just fallen and died, never to tell their story again.

He spat out a chunk of meat that had been lodged in his teeth since first meal on a pile of old jewels and clothing that had been stripped from their former owners. This was business and nothing more.

“I don’t like this place,” he heard Kraglin mumble beside him. He knew just by the volume and tone that statement wasn’t for him, Kraglin talking to himself. He threw a smirk the boy’s way anyway and shook his head at his discomfort as he took in the destruction and death and symbols sprayed onto buildings only half up now.

Kraglin was too young to know what any of this meant, the Centauri system had fallen many years before his mother found out she was carrying him.

“Its just a grave yard,” Yondu chuckled smacking his ward hard on the back making him straighten up and his eyes widen a little, “Everything here is dead. Ain’t nothin’ gonna hurt ya.”

“Just a simple task of grave robbing, all we gotta do is dig up what we need and out we go.”

Kraglin didn’t look comforted by his captain’s words, if anything he looked more mortified but to his credit he forced a smile and nodded to his captain. Hell, the centauri system had been long gone before his whore of a mother was a mistake on her family tree.

Kraglin was too young to feel sympathy or pity for Yondu and that’s what truly made him perfect for the task. 

Yondu leaned against one of the decaying former homes, picking another large chunk of meat from his teeth that had been driving him nuts all morning, barely taking in the massacre he had witnessed so long ago.

Kraglin, however, nervously waded from his captain, taking deep little breaths as he inspected the village Yondu had been born in as if sensing the connection. Smart boy Kraglin, he took in every detail and took his time to think each through before jumping to conclusions. 

“Tak told me this was a bad place,” Kraglin said gently not looking at his captain, instead picking up a doll stained with blood that had long ago dried, “ I thought it was a dead planet, like that one we went to all those months ago…”

Yondu knew the old mining colony he was speaking of, the one where the air was so bad you couldn’t enter the atmosphere without a mask. That was a good haul, plenty of raw material left behind. Kraglin had grumbled and complained the entire time there, the smog so thick it stuck to their supplies, ruining most and leaving Kraglin to scrub the rest by hand.

He wasn’t complaining on this dead planet, he was looking mournfully at the remains, heart beating so loud Yondu could hear it. Kraglin had never seen violence like this. Yondu sighed stepping closer to the boy and pulling him away from those remains he couldn’t stop staring at, hugging his shoulders a little and mouthing they needed to keep moving before shoving him ahead of and towards the temple a short distance from them.

There was no rush, he needed to wait for the idiots with the supply shuttle before the real work began but busy work would take Kraglin’s mind off of this. Yondu took a look back at what Kraglin had been staring so intently at and found himself looking away quickly in disgust.

They were little bones, all lined up neatly of children who had been offed as an example. Too weak and frail to be slaves, useless to the eyes of the kree. Yondu yanked the doll Kraglin was holding from his grasp, making the teen look at him a bit fearfully and chucked it back at the pile of bones.

They were dead and he was alive, he thought to himself shoving Kraglin a little to keep him marching. They had to cross through a small forest too dense for their ships to land in before getting to the temple, the walk would help Kraglin. Kraglin and Peter were alive and would never know of the cruelty of slavers, they would never be forced from him and he would never choose his own safety over theirs.

Everything was fine, it was just fine and he had another job to do. 

And that’s all this was, another job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm breaking up the last few chapters cause they will be pretty long and I don't want to keep you waiting that long while I write them. 
> 
> Currently I don't know how many chapters we will have left but not many, don't worry. I'll be back soon with another update but I don't want to make the updates too long between each other, so here you are.


	27. Sample

Today is a really special day for me, I first published this fic last year. Its been an entire year and I am so thrilled to be writing for this fic again! I wanted to update today but I am only like half way done with the next chapter. 

But! I still wanted to post something for today since it is special to me, so here is a sample of the next chapter (I hope to have it all out next week) 

\----

Peter lay curled there for what felt like hours. Maybe it had been days. Maybe he was just never getting out of this crate and this would be his tomb. 

Peter was eight, he knew it was weird but he thought about death more then anyone his age really should. Staring up at the roof of the crate, watching the flecks of dust sparkle in the slither of light, he had to wonder if he was forgotten about….if Yondu or Taser Face just killed him for not listening….would he see his mom again? 

He wasn’t going to cry he told himself firmly, shaking harder as he held it in, holding his breath, clawing at his arms to get his mind off this and onto anything else.   
Why did this always happen to him? Why didn’t he think anything through? Why… 

The whys clashed together and washed against one another until they no longer made sense. They were just static in his head that numbed his body and his senses. He felt nothing and maybe he was nothing. He got himself into this mess and he was going to get himself out of it he decided, sitting up as the light struck him finally. 

Taser face was loudly instructing him to do something but the words made no sense in his head so he said and did nothing. 

He was yanked hard out of the box and shoved into a sack filled with a variety of tools and shook around violently for a few seconds only catching through his ringing ears that Taser face wished to maim him if he moved or made any noise. 

Peter was fine with that, he needed time to pull himself together again before he would be able to do any of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting this fic! 
> 
> It means a lot to me! 
> 
> hope to have this all done soon. I am writing again and I actually have some future chapters done, I just need to get some chapters done that go before it and then get to editing. 
> 
> See you all again soon!


End file.
